You know how we tell kids not to be afraid of the dark? Moonlight teaches us that’s a really dumb thing to do. Sometimes, the vampires are the least of your worries.

When spoilers come marching home again, hurrah, hurrah.

Everything still discombobulated from recent events — Mick is adjusting to his re-vampifying body, while Beth is adjusting to unemployment. How will she find crimes and possibly put herself in peril if she’s not working for Buzzwire?

Enter Ben Talbot, the ADA. He wants Beth’s help on a kidnapping case, where a boy, Joshua, was snatched from his bed under seemingly impossible circumstances. Beth had covered two similar kidnappings previously, so he thinks her insights might help. (Insight, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days…) Mick sees Beth at the crime scene on TV, but he has his own reason for being interested in the case: The kidnapping took place at a house he remembers from his pre-vamp days.

Mick used to know Ray and Lila, the former owners of that house. Ray was his best friend, and they served in Italy together during WWII. Ray was wounded badly in an attack, and Mick was badly injured when he tried to help Ray. When Mick woke up in the hospital, he was told he was the only survivor. Ray had asked him to take care of Lila, so Mick did what he could — which eventually meant providing more than just home-repair services. He loves Lila, but then Ray came home — he had lost his dog tags and been in a coma, which is why he was reported dead. Mick bowed out to give Ray back his life… but the timing is such that Robert, Joshua’s father, could be Mick’s son.

So it’s personal for Mick, and he earns his keep. Mick figures out the kidnapper came in through the old coal chute, and that he probably worked on the house when it was renovated last year. They narrow the suspects down to one Ken Vertalino, and Mick tracks him down — after a quick detour to the county planning office, where Vertalino was menacing Beth. Vertalino had decided his mission was to cure boys of their fear of the dark… by kidnapping them and scaring the crap out of them. If they survived, they were cured. They tended not to survive. Did we mention that Vertalino was completely bonkers?

Mick tracks Vertalino to an old basement that is now missing a house. Vertalino shoots Mick several times, but that doesn’t slow Mick down. Vertalino finally figures out there really are things to be afraid of in the dark, and kills himself. But Joshua is still missing. Mick’s vamp hearing picks up a heartbeat, and he realizes that Vertalino had been spending way too much time reading Poe — he’d closed Joshua up behind a freshly made brick wall (at least he skipped the pit and pendulum, black cat and raven bits.) Mick busts through the wall and rescues the kid.

Now the only question left is whether Joshua is actually his grandson. A DNA test, using Mick’s old razor form his army days and a bit of hair taken from Robert, shows that he’s not — Robert really was Ray’s kid. It looks like Mick can’t decide whether he’s happy or sad about that. It’s probably good he decided not to stop by, however, because Joshua found Mick in a picture of Ray and his Army unit. That would take some explaining…

Quotes of the week:
Josef complains about having to fire his decorators, and Mick asks if said decorators would be found in the tar pits. Josef: "Mick, please! I don’t have the energy to kill everyone who pisses me off. I have to hire some people."

Mick and Josef discuss Mick’s difficulty at readjusting to the vampire lifestyle:
Mick: "Blood, juice; day, night… You know, a few weeks as a human and my body still can’t figure out what it wants."
Josef: "Blood-orange juice must be particularly confusing."

Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends:

  • Apparently, vampires can’t have kids. That’s probably just as well — teething would be a nightmare.
  • The scene where Joshua was swooped up through the ceiling was deliciously creepy. Well done!
  • Josef wasn’t around much, but when he was, he made it count. Even when he’s just looking for his cell phone ("I spent 400 years without one, and now I can’t go a day…") he commands attention.
  • Beth realizing that all of Joshua’s toys were arranged in a defensive line was kind of heartbreaking. Even worse? When Ben asked her if that’s what she used to do after her abduction as a child.
  • Poor Mick — it was quite a shock to think (1) he might have a son, and (2) that son is twice as old as Mick’s apparent age. How do you explain that away? Short answer? You don’t.
  • Do you think Mick really was in love with Lila, or were they just keeping each other going after a loss?
  • Ben is starting to fish for information from Mick — where’d you live? Where did you go to school? Since we know he had Mick’s car-crash photos from last week, that friendly inquisitiveness doesn’t bode well.
  • Ben offers Beth a job as a "civilian investigator," which I guess is a cross between an outside consultant and an unlicensed private eye. Somehow I don’t think this job will be any less dangerous to Mick’s secret than her Buzzwire gig.
  • Was it just my imagination, or did the flirtation scenes between Mick and Beth seem a little forced this week? To me, the exchange where Mick asked Beth if he should be jealous of Ben fell flat. Maybe it’s all the talk of Josef and Beth having chemistry last week, but for some reason, I just wasn’t buying it from the two star-crossed lovers this episode. Now, Beth and Ben, or Beth and Josef (or Mick and Josef, or random inanimate objects and Josef)… that I can buy.
Posted by:Sarah Jersild