We’re back for a second dose of Moonlight and I’m still a little bummed that I wasn’t able to fall in love with the pilot since … well, it was like an awkward first date. The kind where your best girlfriend has talked up the guy as smart, charming, funny and handsome and when you go out to dinner he immediately gets some spinach stuck between his teeth, so you spend the whole date unable to notice if he is smart, charming or anything else because you are too distracted. We’re on the second date, Moonlight. Please don’t order the spring salad.

We get some very brief previouslys, which is a blessed relief after the overkill of information the first episode displayed. We launch into meat of the episode quickly as well, with the release of an sinisterly lit individual named Lee Jay Spaulding from jail. It seems Lee Jay went to prison 25 years ago and is getting out early, with a book to accompany the occasion. The book is called Wronged Man and he’s free because of a technicality. Apparently, a certain Mick St. John contaminated the evidence in his case. I thought vampires were supposed to be stealthy and leave not a trace. Josef warns our nigh invulnerable hero that Lee Jay may plan to go Van Helsing on him, so he’d best take him out soon. That will do wonders for the book sales too, huh? Mick, however, wants justice to be served, and not his vigilante style justice either. The real deal, via the American court system.

Beth is friends with the author of the book written about Lee Jay (convenient), and it seems they’ve gotten conjugal. She throws a party for the book and Lee Jay’s release, and I am bewildered by the presence of little kids at this party. Even if Lee Jay hadn’t been in for murder, how many 10 year olds are reading 500 page true crime dramas? Mick shows up at the party and Beth asks him about a picture in the book. A picture of a certain Mick St. John. And this is where we all trip. Mick voice overs that the photo was taken before he was turned, back when film could still capture his image. That means the photo is at least 60 years old. The case, however, is only 25 years old. The Mick in the picture is identical to the Mick of today and Mick passes it off as his father. But that fails to explain how a photo taken in the 1940s is used for a P.I. who was in his 30s in the 1980s. Also, this show is rather cherry picking it’s paranormal consequences in a way that I cannot grasp. Holy water, crucifixes and sunlight are all OK, but film is a problem? For why?

For his part, Lee Jay is planning on going the Van Helsing route and is stocking up on wooden stakes, which we were told last week wasn’t a big threat at all – just decapitation and fire were. Yet, at the book party, in the bathroom, Lee Jay sticks Mick with a stake and it apparently paralyzes him. Our criminal then does the unexpected – and bashes his own head against the glass with a wicked grin before screaming for help and running from the room yelling that Mick St. John jumped him. Mick slumps through the crowd and no one moves to stop him. Then he waits across the street as Lee Jay and his author/girlfriend leave for the hospital, and still no one does anything. Not even a call goes out to the police. But Mick does manage to place a GPS tracking device on the author’s car.

Beth tries to hunt down why Mick is obsessed with the case, rather than reading the case file and heading the warnings he has given her. She tracks down his old friend, a retired cop who is blind (and can’t see Mick not age – convenient!) and informs her that Mick St. John never had a son, but Mick is alive, kicking, and mad as hell about Lee Jay getting out. Lee Jay, however, has gotten in. Into Mick’s apartment, that is, where he is waiting for Mick, tasting his frozen blood supply and making a nuisance of himself before doing the unexpected yet again. He shoots himself while hitting speed dial on his cell phone – which places a call to 911, where he informs them he has just been shot. By Mick St. John. That’s twice now, Mick! Catch up!

Alexoloughlin_moonlight_240Josef is equally unimpressed with Mick’s abilities to keep ahead of Lee Jay and doesn’t understand why he didn’t kill him when he had the chance. I don’t understand why he didn’t just hang out in his apartment and demand that the police do a powder burn test on his hands to prove he never fired the weapon. A hanky isn’t going to block all the blow back from a weapon like that. Did I just have a C.S.I. moment?

Mick shows up at Beth’s apartment. Where she lives with her boyfriend. Who is an attorney with the DAs office. And the hits just keep on coming for Mr. St. John, don’t they? Despite her boyfriend saying he could be disbarred, Beth lets Mick in and they film him giving a statement about how Lee Jay is guilty of at least 2 murders and is very dangerous, having show himself and all. Mums the word on Mick fleeing the scene, but soon every news source picks up the video from the Buzz’s website. The video works because digital is different technology than the old film processes, by the way. Convenient! Also convenient is how moments later Beth gets a call from her author friend. But it’s really Lee Jay, who says all sorts of incriminating things about himself while demanding that Mick turn himself in within the hour. Furthering our convenient theme, DAs office boyfriend makes a call and soon his office is announcing that Mick turned himself in.

Outside the warehouse hideout Lee Jay and his gang are in are Mick and Beth, having tracked the author’s car via the GPS placed earlier. Beth waits in the car with a gun, just in case – despite Mick having warned Lee Jay’s former wife that having a gun was giving him a chance to use it against her. This is because after Mick jumps through the ceiling and takes out Lee Jay’s whole gang in a matter of moments, he gets shot with silver buckshot, which is apparently also very bad for him. It wasn’t mentioned at all last episode, so I give it a pass. Anyway, Mick lays on the ground while Lee Jay stands above him with a makeshift flame thrower, giving Beth the chance to conveniently come in and shoot Lee Jay. The end.

At least, this is how a bad show would have ended and thus cemented my disappointment with Moonlight. But there’s one more unexpected thing to hit us with. Beth leaves the crime scene and goes to Mick’s apartment, where he has dragged himself as a now shaking, pale, sweaty, silver ridden mess. He just about tears into a blood bag as she walks in the door. He tries to hide but it is too late. One look at his twitchy silver eyes and bloody lips and she gasps, leaving him to admit "I’m a vampire". The scene leaves me sitting up, completely engaged, staring at the screen with a look of shock. I didn’t see that coming. Was I distracted by spinach again?

What say you, fellow watchers? Are you as confused as I am? How can this show be so bad as to overlook the obvious time line dilemma with Mick’s "father’s" picture, have the inanity of the film issue in face of sunlight not being a problem, and yet still completely grab me in the last five minutes? I need a third date, what about you?

Posted by:Jessica Paff