If there is one thing Moonlight needs less of, it’s buttons. It could be ground breaking television! The first show to have it’s star shirtless all season!  Please? CBS, call me! I’ll gladly be part of the test audience.

Speaking of testing, it seems Mick is doing some testing of his own. Namely in the field of gastrointestinal fortitude. There are some people in this world who can drink orange juice and coffee black within a short span of morning time. I am not one of those people. It seems Mick is picking up where he left off on the last episode, with eating all he can, while he can and so we catch him snacking on hotdogs before having a picnic on the beach with Beth. In daylight, no less.

The conversation they have doesn’t seem to lend itself to the atmosphere, as they talk about her dead ex and how Mick wouldn’t turn him into a vampire for her. And how said dead ex was going to ask her to marry him. And how she would have said "no" because she was in love with Mick. Which I have doubts about. Given how upset she was over his death and Mick’s refusal to turn him, I think I have an easier time believing that she would be more likely to be caught up in the moment, say yes and then regret her answer. For the next 8 years. After which she would finally divorce him and come back to Mick, but now in her late 30s, he would have lost interest. At which time, she could get a spin-off titled The First Bitten Club, about a bunch of older bitter women who lost vampiric love but found themselves through their kinship with each other. And their desire for revenge. Hilarious revenge!

Did I take that too far?

It’s OK, I’m not the only one with a penchant for going too far, as we also have Josef. He’s waist deep in redecorating but has enough time to ask Mick if he’s done the deed with Beth in his new and temporary mortal form because once he’s a vampire again it’s back to the celibate life. Which I don’t understand the science of, but at this point, most of the new mythology of vampirism form this show confounds me, so I’m used to it. Mick says he hasn’t and Josef basically tells him to consummate their love before it’s too late. I like it with Josef gets all sentimental and romantic. It’s oddly balancing to how he is…well,the rest of the time.

Beth isn’t exactly down for getting down at the moment, however, as she gets a call from BuzzWire about a hot lead and arrive to find her boss dead. Maureen wasn’t a terrifically developed character, so I don’t feel much of a sense of loss. Ben Talbot, the new district attorney, shows up to ask Beth some questions and Beth points out that Maureen’s laptop id missing. But I am not sure such information will fit into the chip on his shoulder.  Out favorite morgue tech, Guillermo, tells Beth and Mick that Maureen was killed b a vampire and thus their new case is born.

They break into Maureen’s apartment – without the aid of Mick’s vampiric abilities. Beth seems to accomplish the most, using some supernatural sense to figure out that her former boss hid a flash drive in a box of tampons. Mick is too busy playing with Maureen’s pet cat, which is another fresh experience since animals hate vampires. The flash drive is password protected, so they go to Logan for help. Who basically thwaps them with the clue stick when they find out that the password is the cat’s nickname. At least it’s not 1-2-3-4-5, a ‘la Spaceballs, I suppose. But seriously, using your pet’s name as your password sorta makes hiding the drive among your feminine hygiene products rather pointless, don’t you think?

The incriminating evidence contained therein points out a few possible suspects, including a donut company, a local politico and Josef. It seems Mick’s best friend was involved in a charity scam, but he cracks wise through their questioning of him so they move on to the politico. Mick chats with the politico’s daughter, Bonnie, before questioning Morrow himself about his wife’s "car accident" from a few years ago, while Beth questions the donut CEO about the spokesperson who had died. Could she be a Krispy Killer? Possibly, but they settle on Morrow as the top choice for suspect of the night. They go back to the morgue, where Talbot tells Beth to back off his case and I wonder why the morgue is such a happening place.

Mick tracks down Maureen’s source on the late Mrs. Morrow’s "accident", a valet runner who informs him that it was Mr. Morrow who was behind the wheel that night. He also denies having contacted Maureen – information which Logan confirms. It actually came from Morrow’s own campaign headquarters. Bonnie can’t live with the knowledge the her father and gets to a roof to end it all. Mick tries to talk her out of the whole death thing, knowing it’s a drag on a personal level and giving Beth, Ben and Morrow time to arrive to hear Bonnie confess that daddy did mommy in.

Except it’s not true.

So Beth and Mick switch their focus to the donut mogul by tracking down her plastic surgeon. Who is actually a vampire. Damnation! He dispatches Talbot and Mick before turning his attention to Beth. As Mick learns from his own doctor, the morgue tech, the plastic surgeon sells rare blood types. Such as the one Beth has. Because plastic surgeons live a hard luck life and need the extra income now and again. Mick decides to go on a rescue mission to save Beth, until Josef points out it would be a suicide mission by soundly kicking Mick’s human butt. Realizing what must be done, Mick begs Josef to turn him back into a vampire and though reluctant,  Josef complies. Que sera and all that, but I wish we had gotten at least a couple of full episodes of human Mick.

Mick and Josef bust in on the plastic surgeon to rescue Beth and Talbot – as we knew they would. It’s well shot and fun to watch, but predictable. Beth worries about the questions Talbot will undoubtedly have, so at least they aren’t completely ignoring that aspect of things. And she’s also upset that Mick had to go back to being a vampire for her. Which sets her a little on edge and she questions whether the reason they can’t be together isn’t because of him being a vampire and her human, but just because of who he is. Implying he’s a commitmentphobe, in a manner of speaking. But Mick grabs her, kisses her, and asks for time to figure things out.

Damnation, doesn’t that get us every time, ladies?

Posted by:Jessica Paff