new girl jake johnson nick best lines 'New Girl,' 'Dancing With the Stars' and more best lines this week in TV

With the fall television season heading back into high gear, there’s no better time to start celebrating some of the best writing on the small screen. This week, Zap2it decided to put together a list of our favorite lines from the past seven days’ programming.

Dean Norris was lucky enough to make the list twice, with both Hank Schrader and Big Jim Rennie popping out quality one-liners. Also destined to become a regular on this weekly list is Jake Johnson‘s “New Girl” character Nick Miller, whose witticisms keep us cracking up week after week.

Here are 10 of the best lines on television the week of Sept. 15:

– “Breaking Bad’s” Hank Schrader to Uncle Jack: “My name is ASAC Schrader, and you can go f*** yourself.”

– “Dance Moms” Abby Lee Miller about two moms getting into a slap-fight at Nationals: “They acted like trash in the middle of Bourbon Street and that is exactly what they are.”

– “Dancing With the Stars” Val Chmerkovskiy to Elizabeth Berkley: “I think you did a great job today … Kelly Kapowski probably would have been a little better.”

– “Dexter’s” Debra Morgan to Dexter Morgan: “What about your knives? Do you want me to send them to you?”

– “The Mindy Project’s” Mindy Lahiri about getting proposed to: “Are you kidding me? I want to Vine this!”

– “The Neighbors” Debbie Weaver to her husband Marty Weaver: “You are a man. You are never going to understand ‘Terms of Endearment’ properly.”

– “New Girl’s” Nick Miller to Jess Day: “We’ve only been dating for 30 minutes, and we’re already living together.”

– “Suits” Louis Litt about love: “I mean, any woman who’s been repeatedly Litt-up would demand exclusive dominion over my body!”

– “Under The Dome’s” Big Jim Rennie: “You want the truth? I have taken lives but none that weren’t absolutely necessary for the good of this town.”

– “Wipeout’s” John Henson: “Leave the pile-driving to us.”

What were some of your favorite lines from this past week?

Posted by:Terri Schwartz