new girl 306 keaton schmidt recap fox 'New Girl': Not even Batman can save Schmidt in 'Keaton'

The following sentence should tell you everything you need to know about “New Girl”: Schmidt’s entire lifetime of personal growth has been based on letters from Michael Keaton, which are fake and written by his mom, then Nick, then all of the roommates.

Add in some Halloween costumes, and you have the plot of “Keaton.”

“The pumpkin doesn’t matter.”

Schmidt has been something of a mess recently. And by “mess,” I mean the guy is verging on sociopathic and mentally challenged at times. In “Keaton,” we at least get an explanation: Schmidt has no ability to solve his own problems. This is because he has received forged letters from actor Michael Keaton for his entire life.

At this point, the lowest of Schmidt’s lows, it’s totally time for the Batman to step in. That’s Jess’ idea, anyway.

Catfishing for the holidays

Jess is throwing a Halloween party and would like the rather messed-up Cece (her hair isn’t perfect!) to attend. Thus, Schmidt has to go. For Jess, removing Schmidt has the added benefit of avoiding her roommate drowning his sorrows in deli products on the couch.

In order to accomplish these goals, however, Jess must take up the mantle of Keaton. She does pretty well at first, but one misstep brings Nick back into the role.

It’s nice, by the way, to see Nick at his best — the guy really does care about people and take care of their emotions, even if he’s something of a loser at real life. Schmidt’s entire adult life is basically the result of Nick propping him up and this works, however briefly, one more time.

That is, it works until Schmidt realizes that his roommates have been sending all of the messages.

The public serpent is on to Joey Ramon-a Quimby

Before we go any further, may we take a moment to recognize the superior David Letterman impersonation given by Winston (who really looks nothing like Dave)? That was awesome.

Alas, this is not important. What is important is that Schmidt shows up to the party (in an incredible costume) and forces his roommates to scramble into “Keaton”-mode. Spiraling attempts at a cover-up lead to Jess wearing a stolen Batman costume and trying to convince Schmidt that she’s Keaton.

It doesn’t work. Not even at his most delusional would Schmidt fall for that. The gig is up!

“You don’t need Keaton. You’ve got me.”

“New Girl” gives us an interesting twist here — Schmidt chooses to believe that Nick and Jess have merely hacked into Keaton’s account ( at first. They could go with this. Schmidt could carry on with his blind delusion, none the wiser.

Fortunately, the show doesn’t go that way. Nick fesses up to the whole thing and has a heart-to-heart with his old friend (while Jess and Cece talk about boys and fail to correctly say “Batmobile”). It’s all very touching.

At least it’s touching until the next morning. That’s when Schmidt moves out.

To the loft next door.

Some things never change on “New Girl.”

Posted by:Laurel Brown