Even if “New Girl” were not an entertaining bit of comedy, it could work quite well as a cautionary tale about what not to do on a major holiday if you value your well-being. These things include:
- When your roommate challenges your manhood, do not respond by planning a back-to-nature camping trip.
- Bring more than beer for Thanksgiving dinner.
- If you dig a bear hole, be sure to clearly mark its location for later reference.
- Remember that there are such things as solar-powered cell-phone chargers.
- Always remove the sticker from an apple.
- It’s probably not the best idea to invite a woman, her ex-boyfriend and her potential boyfriend on the same camping trip.
- Don’t eat the pre-dead fish. It will give you Legionnaire’s disease.
But of course there was comedy in “Thanksgiving III” as well. This can best be seen in quotes from the episode.
- “You said you thought a fly was going to land on your head and read all your thoughts.” – Jess to Nick on camping
- “It will be our ultimate test of manhood and our survival skills!” – Nick
“It will?” – Jess
- “What could be better than camping in the woods with my ex-boyfriend and his friend I just made out with?” – Cece
“With whom you just made out.” – Jess
- “You can’t forage for beer.” – Nick
- “We’ve gotten soft with our antibiotics and our sports creams! Do you think George Washington had a cat? He didn’t and he hunted them and made butter out of their spoils!” – Nick
- “I think this is chicory! It says you can eat the root. Or it’s jasmine, which will kill you.” – Jess
- “You’re going to get Bieber fever!” – Coach
- “I feel like how they must have felt on the first Thanksgiving: Betrayed.” – Nick
- “The eyeball fell off! That’s how you know it’s good.” – Nick
- “Goodness gracious! What are you, a sorcerer?” – Schmidt, when Coach builds a fire
- “I should’ve known beets didn’t come from nature. Nothing perfect comes from nature.” – Nick
- “Jess, that fish was dead when I caught it. There was a sock near it.” – Nick
- “For immediate assistance, please call Deb at extension A.C. Slater.” – Jess, after eating the fish
- “Jess is delirious. I think she might think she’s a rabbit.” – Nick
- “We are going to solve this right now. Just take your pants off!” – Cece
- “I have good news from the doctor: You don’t have rabies.” – Nick to Jess