Yes, it’s true: CBS has canceled “Partners,” their only new fall comedy this season. The show, about two best friends and business partners and their love interests, struggled in the ratings, particularly compared to other CBS shows like “2 Broke Girls” and “Two and a Half Men.” The network won’t air any more episodes — not even the ones that have already been filmed — opting instead to fill the 8:30 p.m. time slot on Mondays with reruns while they make final decisions on their midseason schedule.
If you were a fan of the show and are bummed that you won’t be seeing Louis, Joe, Ali, and Wyatt on your screens every week, Zap2it can offer a bit of a consolation prize. Here are the storylines you would have seen if the show had lasted a bit longer.
“Pretty Funny.” This week’s episode was to feature Ali (Sophia Bush) hanging out with Louis (Michael Urie) and Wyatt’s (Brandon Routh) gay friends to watch an episode of “Mob Wives.” Unfortunately, Ali’s non-stop one-liners don’t quite land with Louis’ crowd — leading Louis to break the news that Ali is not actually funny, she’s just pretty funny. Meaning… straight guys think that she’s pretty, so they laugh at her unfunny jokes. Joe (David Krumholtz) suggests that Louis and his gay pals teach Ali to be gay funny. Things go awry. Naturally.
Rings and things. In the pilot, Joe proposed to Ali using a ring from her store. He decides that she deserves a real ring that wasn’t designed to look like an ice cube, but when he looks at diamond rings to purchase, he’s overwhelmed by the price. Louis offers Joe one of his family heirlooms — since it’ll never fit on Wyatt’s finger anyway — and Joe and Ali are both touched by the gesture. Unfortunately, Wyatt is a little perturbed that the ring can’t be handed down to their potential daughter someday. In the end, nobody wants the ring (plus, they become convinced that it’s cursed) and Renata gets to wear the bling. Turns out Ali likes her ice cube just fine.
Baby fever. Yes, by the way, we did say that Wyatt and Louis were considering having kids. In one upcoming episode, “Sperm und Drang,” they decide to have a baby! Both men give sperm samples, but things get complicated when they learn that only one of them had viable, “A+” sperm. (Spoiler alert: It’s Wyatt. “Did you see his sperm in the microscope?” the doctor quips. “They were wearing little capes.”)
Dog days for Louis. In one episode, Louis accidentally takes Elphaba’s hormone pills — yes, Elphaba the dog. He’s rushed to the hospital (where he considers a future career as a seeing-eye dog) and he finally gets to see Wyatt in action as a nurse. After years of wishing Wyatt was a doctor, Louis’s eyes finally open to how vital Wyatt’s job is. But what he doesn’t know…
Wyatt, M.D.? Wyatt had plans to head back to med school! Unbeknownst to Louis, he had applied to go back to school and become the doctor boyfriend Louis had always dreamed of. Awwww.
DMV woes. We haven’t heard much about Wyatt’s Mennonite upbringing, but in one episode we were going to get a glimpse into his spiritual life — specifically, his constant inner conversation with God, who he views as a pal and, apparently, a gym buddy. A sample of Wyatt’s prayers while in line at the DMV? “Dear Lord, it’s me, Wyatt. I know I haven’t spoken to you in a while. Since breakfast. Please let my eyes be open in my new driver’s license photo. And if they aren’t, please let me see this as a sign that I need to keep them open. Thank you. Don’t forget to do your cardio. … Sorry I thought and said ‘darn.’ Don’t forget your glutes.”
A new friend (er, man-crush) for Joe! Joe tends to be surrounded by gay guys, so when he finally makes a straight guy friend, he’s pretty excited. “He’s desperate to hold onto him, no matter what, because he’s his only straight friend,” Krumholtz tells us. “He’s so desperate that he’s almost possessive. He’s basically gay for his straight friend, and of course, it ends up backfiring him, and he realizes that alas, his only friend is Louis.”