He’s Just Not That Into You may have been the top box office draw this past weekend, but Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker thinks that that philosophy — based on the book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo — may be throwing in the towel too soon when it comes to marriage.
“I’d read the book and I think Greg was onto something, but I have a different philosophy than him,” says Patti Stanger. “I believe ‘He’s just not into you now, but he could be later.'”
Stanger advises marriage-minded women who have put in the time with a guy who’s dragging his feet about proposing to use a Me-a-matum, not an ultimatum. In her book, Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate, she explains the difference:
“An ultimatum is a demand accompanied by a threat. A Me-a-matum is a suggestion accompanied by a gesture.”
Stanger’s theory is that men, once comfortable in a relationship, don’t want to go out and look for love again. The Me-a-matum is his wake-up call.
“I believe men are creatures of habit. If you give them everything they want, you cook his meals and clean his house, and five years later if he hasn’t given you the ring, you need to leave.
“You don’t do it nasty. You go, ‘Hey listen, you know, it’s been a great five-year run, but I just realized you’re not marriage-minded as I am.’ [Then you] hit the road.
“He starts to freak out, ’cause now his whole world has been shattered. He’ll come around. They say a guy’s not gone till eight weeks. So he’ll come around. I actually think in the first two weeks he starts to panic.”
The new season of Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker premieres on Thursday, Feb. 12 at 10 p.m. ET/PT.
Do you believe in the philosophy of He’s Just Not That Into You? Would you take romantic advice from The Millionaire Matchmaker?