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Maybe I’m a cock-eyed optimist, but perhaps this is the week that Chet sets the world of Survivor: Micronesia — Fans vs.Favorites on it’s ear. Maybe he’ll find, deep within himself, that competitive spirit that he calls forth from the beauty pageant contestants that he coaches to victory. On the other hand, it’s probably easier just to make suckiness radiate from my TV for an hour.

Falsehoods! My virgin ears!
Erik expresses his shock that the game of Survivor can actually DUPLICITOUS and people will use STRATEGY and LIE. He starts to maybe think about possibly adapting some form of these tactics in a way. But then again, he has yet to make the switch from cake cones to waffle ones. Baby steps.

Airai wins — and loses. Tracy starts to work her magic on the stunned Erik, working on turning him against the Faves of Malakal. Ami notes that “The more you’re poop pants, the sooner you’re going out.”  Words to live by. Apparently, Ami heard my previous comments, as she notes that it’s time to start making baby steps towards changing her strategy.

Back on Airai, Eliza and Jonathan declare the old tribal lines dead and start plotting to remove James and Parvati. James appears to be warming up to Jonathan on the other hand, noting that if Jon wasn’t there, he’d be losing his mind with the “bunch of girls.”  Could he be tumbling to the fact that Parvati is playing him within an inch of his life?

At reward challenge, players swim out to collect panels which they will use to block up a bamboo tunnel. After ten minutes, the tribes switch tunnels and work at removing the blockade from their new tunnel. Airai is first to squeak through the obstacle-filled tunnel, winning the services of two native Micronesians who will tell them everything that they’re doing wrong back at camp. Chet and Jason are chosen to go to Exile Island.

Immediately after challenge, Jonathan’s knee is inspected and is informed that infection from the wound he suffered last episode has the potential to endanger his life. After a tearful goodbye to Airai, Jonathan heads off to the hospital. Kathy, in particular, is disturbed by the parting. Despite the fact that they had only been on the same tribe for two days, she “needs him.”  You can chalk that up to what you will. Jonathan, convinced that he had this season “in the bag” seems more upset by his departure than the potential loss of knee and life.

Micronesians ROCK! At Airai, James again indicates that Jonathan was all that stood between him going insane with all these women about. Better start diggin’ some graves, mate. The Micronesians arrive and Parvati immediately starts flirting with them. No one on Airai, nor in the rest of America, seems to be surprised. The tribe is shown how to fish by the wizened natives.

Back at Malakal, the Faves are commenting on how useless the Fans, Chet in particular, are. Ami, on the other hand, appears sympathetic towards the Fans, and opens up discussion with them on the topic of voting off Cirie. The word “trust” is thrown about casually, and Ami appears set to vote off Cirie.

On Exile Island, Chet gives up on the search for the idol before it’s begun. Laziness, it would seem, is a value at times, as the idol is already in Ozzy’s hot, little hand. Jason finds the fake idol Ozzy left behind, buying the decoy hook, line, and sinker. This is gonna be good. Once again, Ozzy wins.

Malakal maintains streak. Those native wiles pay off again when a clever crab trap nets more meat for the fish stew. The Micronesians are rightfully praised by the tribe members. Their ass-kicking abilities would give Ozzy a run for his money.

At the immunity challenge, both tribes get an update on Jonathan, who has benefited from surgery. One can only hope that this interesting player will return to replace one of the boring Fans. The immunity challenge ensues and contestants use poles to transport players from platform to platform. Airai’s innovative, yet risky, use of a single pole rather than both poles to move tribe members pays off. After managing to get all of their tribe members on the platforms, wins immunity. Malakal revisits a familiar place — last.

A strong tribe vs.a strong chance. Malakal reacts to Jonathan’s departure. Chet is apparently inspired by Jonathan and points towards a minor scratch, claiming that he should be voted off, lest he risk his life further! O.K., Chet is officially the most pathetic player in Survivor history. Not only is he insulting Jonathan by claiming his “injury” is a medical emergency, he is letting down Tracy, who has been fighting since day one to keep him in the game. Chet, I don’t see the doctors rushing to treat you. If they’re not worried, neither should you be. Tracy, Erik, and Ami beg, BEG, Chet to stay. They have the immortal Ozzy in their sights.

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At Tribal Council, Ozzy and Cirie testify to the toughness of the game of Survivor. Jeff cites Jonathan’s exit as tribute to the difficulty of the greater challenge of the game. Various members sound off on who might have the hidden immunity idol. Ozzy makes the bold claim that he is not going home, certain in the fact that Chet will be voted off tonight. As much as I would like to see the look on Jason’s face when he plays the false idol, I think it might be time for Ozzy to reveal the real thing. Tension mounts when Jeff asks if anyone wants to play the idol, but Ozzy sits tight. Fortunately for him, Chet has already clicked his ruby slippers together three times and he is going home. Nice game, Dorothy.

Next week — Kathy appears to be Chetting, saying the game is too “savage” for her tastes. Unfortunately, I think it will take more than Kathy tanking it for Malakal to squeak out a win. Will Ozzy be the one to lead them to the Promised Land?

Posted by:Andrew Stubinski