Hot damn, Chuck is back! Our favorite spy geek brings the funny, plus the angst, the pathos and the outright awesome, with this season premiere. Plus, we find out what Sarah DOESN’T wear on a date, and we discover where Casey keeps his all-purpose antidote. And Morgan’s sideplot has a purpose this time! Glee!

Two spoilers enter, one spoiler leaves.

When last we left our heroes, the new intersect was about to come online, which meant Casey would soon have to take Chuck offline for good. Chuck doesn’t know this — he’s thrilled when he discovers the doohickey he rescued from Michael Clarke Duncan and his band of goons is the new Intersect’s brain. That means he gets his life back! Sarah tells him he can do anything, and Chuck starts actually imagining the possibilities. Firs possibility to contemplate — going out on a real date with Sarah. After that, who knows?

Casey turns over the new Intersect doohickey — but it’s a trap! He gets gassed by a nefarious evildoer. Those evildoers close in on Chuck and Sarah on their date at a Chinese dumpling place. Chuck gets a flash on just about everyone in the restaurant just when he and Sarah are about to kiss. No problem, though — Sarah will save them, right? Maybe not — she doesn’t take her gun on real dates. She tries to improvise with chopsticks, but Mr. Colt (that’s Duncan, of course) stops her. Our Heroes look doomed, but then Casey — who managed to decontaminate himself and shoot up the antidote (hidden behind a framed picture of Ronald Reagan) drives through the wall.

Chuck’s computer-enhanced brain deciphers the ring print left in Casey’s face (courtesy of Colt’s right hook) and figures out the gang’s hideout. Casey and Sarah go off to squash the gang, along with several of their closest SWAT friends. Meanwhile, Chuck gets a command-performance computer help request — which turns out to be from Mr. Colt. They gang cleared out their old space and found a new one, all of the purposes of luring Chuck to his doom. Chuck whimpers and quivers, until he decides to channel is spy alter-ego, the suave Charles Carmichael. He bluffs beautifully, rattling off the battle groups Morgan had organized for Call of Duty or one of those war games. That, plus a call to Morgan, distracts Colt and his goons long enough for Chuck to grad the doohickey and do a runner. Colt catches him without much trouble, and he gets dangled off a roof (again) until Sarah finds them. Colt drops Chuck to his death — expect Casey is there to catch him when he falls. Oh, Casey!

Sarah and Colt fight, and I don’t care how well-trained Sarah is, the size differential between the two is such that I think Colt would crush her. Casey arrives to help take out Colt, but they’re surrounded by Colt’s gang. but wait! Chuck appears with the SWAT guys, foiling Colt’s plans. Huzzah!

That doesn’t solve one itty-bitty problem — Casey is still supposed to kill Chuck as soon as the new Intersect goes online. He’s all set to do it when Sarah comes to Chucks door. The new Intersect was destroyed. The doohickey they rescued was actually a Trojan horse. Fulcrum boobytrapped it somehow, and the Intersect blew up as soon as it was initialized, killing Sarah’s boss and several other agents. Chuck is still the only Intersect. that means he doesn’t get his life back — but he gets to live.

The Buy More B plot
Chuck turns down the Assistant Manager job (he’s about to quit and travel the world, after all), so Big Mike makes him interview the candidates. Those candidates consist of Anna, Jeff and Lester. Anna tries seducing Chuck by playing footsie She wants to make Morgan jealous). Jeff presents a resume written on a napkin with a suspicious red substance, and also tries seducing Chuck by playing footsie, which, Chuck says, is "not called for — or welcome." Lester presents a wikipedia page on himself, because he’s "got quite a following" and tries a Brando/Godfather impersonation that just hurts his throat. I

Chuck foists the responsibility for choosing the new assistant manager on Morgan, who comes up with a sensible solution: He recreates Thunderdome.  Apparently Lester is one heck of a fighter, because he ends up with the position. He immediately turns dictatorial Ah, Lester — you try, but you’re no Harry Tang.

Favorite quotes

Chuck and Sarah discuss his post-Intersect plans:
Chuck: I don’t think I’m really cut out for a job where you disarm a bomb, steal a diamond and then jump off a building.
Sarah: You could have fooled me.
Chuck: That’s very kind of you to say, but I’m pretty sure my girlish screams in the face of danger give me away.

A shell-shock Chuck finally addresses Awesome and Ellie after catching them together in the shower: "First of all, congratulations, Devin on the, on, what. on whatever god gave you there… "

Chuck tries to talk to Casey. Casey: "Not now, I’ve got a single white female pining for the beastmaster."

Chuck and Ellie contemplate new jobs:
Ellie: If you say pilot the millennium falcon, I will hit you
Chuck: Why would I say that, that’s absurd! I’m going to be a ninja assassin.
Ellie: No. Try again
Chuck: Um, Olympic ..
Ellie: Uh uh
Chuck: (with sudden resolve) Secret agent
Ellie: This is what happens whey you sit in front of the television too long.

Chuck rounds on Casey after they escape the restaurant: "Somebody order drive through? Huh? Did you think that up as you were racing over here to save us? Hey, maybe I’ll say this after I crash into the restaurant!"

Chucks fabulous bluff: "My name is Charles Carmichael. I’m a CIA agent, and this is my trap. I don’t think you gentlemen recognize the gravity of the predicament you’re in. Your call to the Buy More? Yeah, we traced that. Your compound is currently surrounded by 23 infantry troopers, 16 snipers, 7 heavy gunners, 4 demolitions experts and enough ammunition to orbit Arnold Schwarzenegger. You’re outmatched and you’re outgunned. Those pea-shooters your holding might as well be sharp sticks and strong language….Of course you don’t see anyone. What do you think we are, the FBI? The only thing you’re going to see is a muzzle flash and an e-ticket straight to hell."

Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends

  • I love this show. I’m trying to come up with something critical to say, and I can’t think of anything. Great episode of a great show.
  • Even the meta bits worked. Chuck sums up the show to Michael Clark Duncan, who says “That is the single dumbest story I’ve ever heard.” It is — but it works!
  • Then there was Chuck yelling at Casey for having a clever line to say when he burst through the wall. Quips just don’t sound right when you’re fleeing for your life, apparently.
  • Hey, Captain Awesome and the Buy Morons are in the credits now! Whoo-hoo!
  • Casey has a practice shooting range that descends from his fireplace. Bin Laden and Hitler are targets, with Ronald Reagan serving as the test of reflexes. Curiously, when Chuck’s picture comes up, Casey’s shot goes wide.
  • Casey apologizes to the Gipper when he has to break the glass to retrieve the epi pen.
  • I loved Chuck’s face when he started contemplating life without the Intersect. He gets this little almost grin, and you can see is mind start working.
  • Chuck apparently listens to a station the has strict Huey Lewis at 7 a.m. policy.
  • Sarah’s new job: Yogurt jockey at a Pinkberry-type place called Orange Orange. Their slogan? "Yogurt and Fun."No dirndl, but she does get to lick her finger suggestively.
  • Morgan is apparently a connoisseur of fantastic cheap eats. I have to respect that.
  • Chuck tries to tell Casey how much he appreciates him, and it comes out sounding all Hallmark — "You catch me when I fall!" But then, at the end/ Casey DOES catch Chuck when he’s dropped off the roof. "I love you!" Chuck screams. "Keep it in your pants, Bartowski," Casey snarls.
  • Up until now, they’ve made it look like the NSA is the only agency that wants Chuck dead. This episode, we discover that the CIA wants Chuck killed, too. That’s why I only feel so sorry about the CIA boss getting blown up by Fulcrum’s booby-trapped Intersect brain.
  • It was so sad seeing Chuck sink into despair, thinking he could never have a real life, when WE know that being the sole Intersect is the only thing keeping him alive. Zachary Levi played that really well.
  • I had to respect Morgan stepping it up and being a friend to Chuck, telling him that he’s capable of anything. But in the meantime, he knows that nothing relieves the crushing angst of a meaningless retail job in a craptastic store more than the prospect watching a grown man try to ingest 90 Twinkies in less than three minutes. As Morgan puts it, "Jeff might die!" THAT brought Chuck and Casey running!
Posted by:Sarah Jersild