Excuse us while we scrap the remnants of our jaws off the floor.
Instead of running down the entire episode (because really, who wasn’t watching?) we’re going to choose the best/funniest/scariest moments from the episode. So without further ado, here are our top 10 moments from “Pretty Little Liars'” Season 1 finale, “For Whom the Bell Tolls”:
10. Shirtless Toby FTW!
We won’t lie, that video of Jenna seducing Toby may be the show’s creepiest moment EVER. Seriously, it was uncomfortable to watch. Luckily, the producers seemed to know the way back into our hearts was by having one of Rosewood’s resident hot guys ditch his shirt. To see shirtless Toby is to forgive y’all.
Also, we kind of wish the costume department would have just let Ezra walk around school without his shirt on because his plaid shirt and blue tie combo made us want to have a fashion intervention. “We love you and care about you, Ezra, but your obsession with plaid and vests needs to be addressed. You need help.”
9. Spencer is kind of the HBIC…
After watching the video of Toby and Jenna, Spencer says they need to confront Jenna. When the three other PLLs are hesitant, Spencer reminds the trio that Jenna knew the videos existed and was trying to find them. JUSTIFIED. Keep doing your thing, Spencer, which seems to be using your brain.
Spencer says, “We’ve been afraid of her since ‘The Jenna Thing.'” Can we just discuss how awkward that sentence is for a moment — they are talking about Jenna, yet call it “The Jenna Thing.” -10 points ’cause kids would never say that. It would be, “We’ve been afraid of her since that time we like, caused her to go blind or whatever.”
Also: “Do you want some popcorn to go with that?” We love her.
8…. Except Alison really is
Best. Flashback. Yet. Jenna reveals Alison did come to visit her on her way home from Georgia to show (or um, let her listen to) the video de seduction. “The guy I like likes to make movies. I thought they were just of me. You think you know people and then they surprise you,” Alison says with a sneer plastered on her perfectly made-up face. “Turns out the boy next door gets off on watching all the girls next door.” Seriously?! We bow down to Alison.
She tells Jenna she won’t expose the video if Jenna keeps their secret, before adding, “Oh, Jenna. If you ever come back to Rosewood, I’ll bury you.” Monuments should be erected in Alison’s honor. Seriously, “Veronica Mars”‘ Lilly Kane would be so proud.
“If she’s telling the truth. Jenna came back because she could.” “And Ali’s the one who got buried.” So now we know Jenna’s motive. She stays on top of the “A” list. She might as well buy a time-share because we don’t think she’s going anywhere anytime soon.
7. Everyone is in kahoots with everyone
So Jenna calls Ian to let him know the girls found the tape and have watched it. What?! Officer Garrett is actually working with Jenna and they are hooking up. Double what?! Was Jenna working with both of them or were the three of them working together? The details seemed fuzzy, but we got the impression they all were working together. Jenna tells Garrett that they will lose everything if the video comes out — but we’re not exactly sure how it affects him. Can someone smarter than us explain that scene in the comments section below? Gold star for whoever does.
6. Ian’s side project: “Underage Girls Gone Wild”
We had to go take a shower immediately after the episode to wash off the residual sleaze Ian left behind. The fact that he liked to film underage girls… in their bedrooms… making out with boys or just getting dressed… We mean, how did Spencer make out with that?
5. Lucas is THE man
Three cheers for Lucas’ return! We get our first glimpse of Lucas while he’s creeping in the background throughout Hanna and Mona’s conversation about Caleb’s letter. When Mona walks away, Hanna tells Lucas he can’t stay mad at her forever. He’s basically all, “You danced on my heart, literally, like eight episodes ago. I need to brood for at least another season, on-screen this time, before I like you again. Your hair is pretty.”
He confronts Mona later when he hears her dismissing Caleb on the phone. She offers to take him from “hermie to her man” (Go far, far away Mona and bring Jenna with you!) but he doesn’t take the bait. Instead, he goes to pick up Caleb! How bromantic and romantic?! Helping the girl he loves to find happiness, even if its not with him; We just love that dork.
4. Ezra becomes a PLL
Wow, way to send a text message to your underage girlfriend/student saying a cop is at your apartment and totally freak her out. Then you blind her with your hideous outfit. (Look at your life, look at your choices has never seemed so fitting!) Then you get her hopes up, telling her you secured a new teaching job and that you can finally have a normal relationship. “We can live outside my apartment!” Then your ex-fiancee shows up at her house and drinks wine. With her father! Audible gasp! Aria kind of had every right to go Jerry Springer on Ezra’s well-vested self if she felt like it.
But the icing on the cake? His ex works at at the school he will now be teaching at and he knew that when he applied for the job. Unforgivable. There’s really no way to justify this to Aria. We’re dying to see what Jackie’s reappearance and proximity will do to Ezria’s relationship. We smell a love triangle comin’ on… and it smells good.
3. Love in the Afternoon – PLL style
We swooned — literally swooned — over Toby and Spencer’s simple but poignant moment in her room. We could have watched 42 minutes of Spencer sleeping on Toby’s lap while he plays with her hair and read a book. We want to be Toby and Spencer.
In the midst of all the absurdly awesome craziness that is “PLL,” this couple grounds the show in reality and has become its heart. Its the first truly realistic relationship on the show — where you can’t help but stare at them when you’re supposed to be reading, where just staring out of a window together becomes the most romantic moment in your relationship.
Spencer: “I like having you here.”
Toby: “I like being here.”
Spencer: “Look, I never felt like I had a safe place to land. Now I feel like I do so I want you to stay safe.”
Toby: “If you need anything tonight, I’ll be there for you.”
Spencer: “I love knowing that.”
Perfection. Can we also discuss how perfect the song choice was for this scene? Alexz Johnson’s “Time to Be Your 21.” Kudos, Chris Mollere (“PLL’s” music supervisor).
2. The Bell Tower
Definitely the scariest moment on the show yet, right? When Ian called the blocked number and realized the phone was in Spencer’s bag? The look on his face literally gave us chills. The creepiness factor was taken to the next level when the girls could hear Spencer struggling against Ian over the phone and were unable to do anything.
“The guilt was just too much for you,” Ian tells Spencer while shoving her violently. His plan? To write a suicide note for Spencer, which admits that she killed Alison. Dude, that’s your wife’s sister. We won’t lie, we cheered when “A” (at least we think it was “A”) came and pushed Ian over the edge, saving Spencer in the process. You can’t mess with someone’s life when they’re dead.
Ian hanging dead from the bell’s ropes is one of the series’ most haunting images. We’re going to assume that Ian really is dead but that “A” moved the body. “A” would never give up good leverage to hold over the girls. Now, the entire town thinks the girls are crazy little liars are not-so-quietly whispering about them behind their backs.
1. Our theory
OK, we don’t believe Ian killed Alison. He never actually admitted to it. Sure, he’s guilty of knowing about it, filming young girls and trying to kill Spencer, but we don’t think he killed the queen of mean.
Our theory? Melissa, Spencer’s pregnant bis sis, did the deed. No, we’re not crazy. Just hear us out: Melissa was dating Ian a while back, when the girls went to the college party and Alison set phasers to “Make Ian Love Me.” They start hooking up.
Melissa finds out and freaks. She confronts Alison, they argue and things get out of hand. Ian finds out what Melissa did but loves her and helps her hide what she did. “Now Melissa would want me to take care of this. She’ll understand.” “I’m doing it because I love her.”
Take those two sentences and put them together? Sounds like our theory could be right. What do you think?
Random thoughts and musings:
— Oh, hi Noel! Oh, bye Noel! We thank you for your time. We loved how Noel just popped up out of nowhere, like a game of “Whack-a-Noel” or something. We should copyright that…
— Samarra’s email to Emily: “Yesterday went well.” This causes Emily to giggle and blush. Girl, raise your standards! Juvie and one-sentence emails do not a long-term relationship make.
— Um, sorry… you have fans pick a name for character who appears for literally five seconds? Logan Reed: The poor man’s Ian Thomas.
— “We’ve all made mistakes. Remember I’m still paying for yours.” If Alison didn’t exist, this line of Jenna’s would have been the best of the night.
— Emily’s moving storyline was kind of Dullsville, no? Clearly, she won’t be leaving the show so it wasn’t suspenseful; it just felt that it was getting in the way of the major storylines taking place.
— One of our favorite scenes was Hanna deleting Caleb’s number from her phone. It’s a classic situation every girl has gone through. We love how after sleeping with him, Caleb became that metaphoric monster for Hanna. That being said, we truly believe Caleb loves Hanna and we’d like to see these two crazy kids work it out. At least for a little while.
— Melissa and Spencer’s car accident was a little anticlimactic — just because it happened way too early to be suspenseful. We sincerely hope Melissa keeps the baby though.
What did you think of “PLL’s” season finale, Zappers? What was your favorite moment? Do you think Ian is really dead?