Welcome back to Rosewood, “Pretty Little Liars” fans, where braille
just became the new black. Or something. All week we’ve been trying to guess
what Toby’s message meant and thankfully, we didn’t have to wait very
long to find out. But that’s not until later. Let’s start like all good
stories do, at the beginning. Where there is also braille.
favorite Liars are hanging out, trying to decode the message. When the
girls figure out Toby’s braille message, it spells out “BAD.” Um, we
really hope it’s something cooler than that.
Aria is wearing a whole lot of polka dots (seriously, on her headband and shirt!) and a scowl. She can’t even stand to be around Hanna so she leaves this meeting of The
Plastics Liars and leaves. Hanna pretends she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her.
and her mom are talking about the whole money-stealing fiasco (still)
and we’re kind of over it. When she leaves, Caleb comes out of hiding
and helps himself to some cereal. He says he’s going to leave for
Arizona (Because why not?) and asks Hanna if she’s going to miss him.
“It was nice knowing that when something goes bump in the night it’s
you.” Before he can respond to that kind of creepy sentiment, mom comes
back in and he has to hide while Hanna throws his signature beanie in
with the dishes. Secrets are hard!
Aria and Hanna finally hug it
out at school and have a blame-off. Aria says she should have listened
to Hanna and apologizes for being so mean. Hanna is so sorry for what
she almost did and says, “I don’t like knowing what I’m capable of.”
girls corner Hanna about Human Best Buy Caleb and tell her he’s
dangerous. Don’t these people watch TV?! Saying he’s dangerous will
only make her want him more.
Ezra is having lunch with Ella,
Aria’s mom (Because that’s not weird or anything) and somehow ends up
inviting her to a book signing with an author. Crazy Paige’s crazy dad
comes bustling into the cafeteria looking for the swim coach.
Basically, he’s a jerk who thinks Emily is being favored because she’s
gay. We hate him. Ezra calms him down. We love him.
At the Bank
of the Boring, the dead woman Ashley stole the money from’s
great-nephew comes in — and surprise! — he wants the money, yo. She
squirms, he creeps. Seriously, he used his dead great-aunt as a pick-up
line. You know that feeling you get when you think there’s a bug
crawling on you? That guy is our metaphoric bug.
Crazy Paige talk in the hallway about her Crazy dad. Paige says she
didn’t tell her dad that Emily is gay but Gay Emily is mad and doesn’t
listen. Ella is gushing over Ezra to Byron and we think she’s kind of
doing it on purpose. She says they should meet and we think Byron left
to go buy a ruler. We’ll let you figure that one out.
and Toby time — Yay! She confronts him (“Am I supposed to go buy an
old Michael Jackson album?” ZING!) about the braille as all the girls
think it was a joke. He tells her she’s reading it wrong and we’re
excited because “BAD” was kind of lame. Emily is on the phone with
Hanna when her mom walks by and to everyone’s surprise, it’s totally
awkward. To paraphrase Will Smith, Straight parents just don’t
understand. Emily isn’t going to tell Pam about Crazy Paige’s Crazy dad
because she thinks she wouldn’t care.
Spencer and Aria are
also partaking in some girl talk on the phone where Spencer talks about “The
Real Teens of Rosewood” for a hot minute and we now wonder if ABC Family has already
started planning the show. We’re so in. But shouldn’t Spencer be googling braille
instead of girl-talking? Well, it is about Ezra so we get it. He’s
adorable. He’s even nervous about meeting Aria’s dad.
and Hanna are talking about the creepy great-nephew when Caleb comes to
the door and introduces himself to Ashley, saying it’s about time they
met. What a basement dwelling weasel, but we’re kind of starting to
like him. He answers the door when the creepy great-nephew gets there
and it makes us think he should be their butler because hey, who
doesn’t love a butler? Before they leave, Ashley get the creepy dude to
sign a legal document and Caleb gives him some serious side-eyes. Narc
When he leaves, Caleb busts out some pen-onology and
says that dude can’t be an architect because they don’t carry around
crappy plastic pens. He’s so an undercover cop, right? How many high
school kid knows these things? None, that’s how many.
Byron finally meet and it’s super awkward. Byron meangirls Ezra about
his taste in writers and literature and Ezra is really fidgety trying
not to say the wrong thing. Hope that’s a protective vest, Ez! While
that alpha-maleness is going on, the four girls are shopping. Hanna and
Aria tell the other two what’s been going on with them and then Hanna
drops the Caleb bomb: He’s a basement dweller!
Before the girls
can say how dangerous that is (again) they hear someone in the fitting
room, so like adorable little peeping Toms, they go investigate. It’s
Jenna telling a saleswoman, “I want it to be perfect. He likes lace.”
Give us a moment, we have to go throw up everything we’ve ever eaten in
Ezra and Aria talk about her dad and we agree with
Ezra: “He hates me or he’s crazy.” Pam is going to a parent teacher
conference and Ella tells her about the whole Crazy Paige’s dad thing.
Pam is visibly hurt that Emily didn’t tell her. Gee, we wonder why?!
goes to Toby’s house, which is the creepiest house ever. We were
literally screaming “Run girl! Run for your life!” Toby catches her in
Jenna’s room and starts off by telling her the bad news: Don’t touch anything because Jenna will
know. Then he tells her the good news, the DA is dropping the charges
against him! Yay! He tells her “I’m free. Once I get this ball and
chain off of my leg,” and before he can finish we add “I can get this
date tattooed on my body. I like to do that.” So he didn’t say that,
but Spencer offers to take him to the courthouse. Love is in the creepy
house, ya’ll! We have to say, we love the idea of these two together and hope the show goes there. Troian Bellisario and Keegan Allen have great chemistry and play off each other well.
Hanna and Caleb talk about the creepy great-nephew
and Caleb decided it was time for a boy to do some Veronica Mars-esque
work and found out he isn’t really related to her! The real James
Leland died two years ago! Again, Caleb is so an undercover cop.
pulls up in a taxi when Spencer and Toby are leaving the house and says
she wants to take him to the courthouse. Smartest dude ever Toby says
he wants to go with Spencer and grabs her hand and walks off while
Jenna says, “I see.” So. Not. Blind. Side-note: In the background, you
can see Toby open Spencer’s car door for her. Chivalry isn’t dead, it
was just falsely accused of murder!
Hanna tells Ashley that
James isn’t really related to the old woman and Ashley doesn’t really
care. Later, when he finds out there’s only $3,000 in the account, he
begins to act all weird and Ashley calls him out on his bluff.
Whatever, we’re over this. Aria confronts her dad about Ezra, who he
calls a “lightweight” and continues to belittle. Aria tells him a lot
of the teachers are going to the book signing not just Ezra and Ella.
Dad feels really dumb.
After a swim meet, Pam talks to Emily
about what’s been happening with Paige. Emily doesn’t want to talk
about it and says, “I know what you think of me.” Pam gets all Mama
Bear on us when she sees Paige’s Crazy Dad, who continues to be a
complete jerk. Pam finally tells him, “Drop it or I’ll show you what a
real agenda looks like.” Go Pam, it’s your birthday. After, she tells
Emily, “I still don’t understand but I love you. You’re my child and
nobody hurts my child. I’m so sorry.” It’s a sweet moment that felt
very real and necessary, especially for Pam’s character.
turns out after getting the monitor on his leg removed, Spencer drove
Toby to the town border. This is so bringing us back to “A Walk To
Remember” and we love it. She tells him he could run if he wants but
Toby is tired of running. “I have to make some changes.” Spencer tells
Toby that she found out (off-camera apparently) what the message means:
#214. Toby then tells her he heard Jenna on the phone with someone one
day and they were talking about her. They both don’t know what the
number means, but they need to find out for both their sakes.
is leaving the school when Crazy Paige jumps in her car and tries to
explain her dad’s behavior before saying everything is so easy for
Emily. When Emily starts to rant about her life (Woe is her!) Paige
shuts her up by kissing her. We totally called this. Before leaving the
car, Paige says, “Don’t tell.”
Caleb and Hanna are just hanging
out, drinking some OJ and Caleb asks Hanna to walk him home so she
walks him to the basement door. We won’t lie, it was kind of cute. He
says he’s going to put off Arizona for awhile and you can tell Hanna
wants him to kiss her but he doesn’t. She sighs and we sigh along with
her. Hanna goes to answer the door and it’s an exterminator who got a
call from “A” saying the house had an infestation in the basement. Ruh
Aria and Ezra are making out on his couch when Byron
calls and leaves a message apologizing and hoping to make plans to get
a beer sometime. Obviously, it’s a mood-killer so the couple goes to
eat more egg rolls. Cut to Toby and Spencer driving home and they pass
a motel. The camera zooms in and we see #214 on the door. Mystery
Our last scene is yet another cryptic one of a gloved
person putting flowers on Esther Marie Potter’s grave. A.K.A. the woman
Ashley’s mom “borrowed” money from. Did “A” kill her to help Hanna?
Chills have become our new best friend thanks to this show.