. But just as Charlie is leaving, God shows up for the first time. So, you know, fair trade, I guess.
Charlie arrives with the news that he has gotten into all of the colleges he applied to, and he has decided on the marine biology program at UC-San Diego. Megan is confused, and not just by her complete lack of understanding of how time zones work (a shockingly common problem among East Coasters, speaking as somebody who has lived on both coasts). Megan thought that Charlie was leaning toward staying in-state and simply applied to UCSD on a whim, but now that Charlie is actually going there, the reality that these two supposed BFFs are going to be separated finally sets in.
Meanwhile, Rose prods Sage for details on how things are going with Luis, observing that by this point in the relationship, "stuff" should have happened by now. Sage answers that no, she is definitely still a virgin. And therein lies the problem; Sage knows that she should probably tell Luis that because otherwise Luis might expect something that isn't coming yet, but Sage is afraid to have that conversation. Sage just isn't comfortable with any dynamic in which she doesn't have the upper hand. But Rose plays right into that. Rose agrees that if Sage will admit to Luis that she is a virgin, then Rose will admit to Zach that she is not. So Sage will still get a win out of everything, somehow.
Since Charlie has been largely MIA for the past few episodes, he takes a little while to get caught up, chatting with Lily about how she got married, and went to jail, and had her mother show up and then leave once again. Charlie tells Lily what Megan won't say directly, which is that Lily needs to be the one to step up for once and keep her family from falling apart, since Megan has had to shoulder that burden for so long. Lily, in turn, is pointed and direct as to what Charlie has to do. It's plainly obvious to everyone that Charlie is running away from Megan, Lily notes, but he's never really going to get a clean slate until he admits once and for all how he feels.
With a whole lot of struggle – we've established by now that Rose is the twin who got the public speaking genes – Sage stammers her way through an admission to Luis that she is a virgin. Luis then surprises her by admitting that he is too. Luis is a devoted Catholic who takes the no-sex-before-marriage edict seriously, but that just makes Sage now uncomfortable about something else entirely.
Sage retreats back to Rose to hyperventilate about how she's dating a religious zealot, though Rose attempts to observe that simply being a person of faith does not make one a zealot. Sage ultimately relents and takes Luis up on his offer to go to mass. She hesitates on the way in, but finally agrees to go inside. It's only after the service that Sage explains the real reason why church frightens her, which is that the only memory she has of being in church is her parents' funeral. It was pretty obvious that her parents' death was the reason she was staying away from God, but it's obvious for a reason, which is that it makes total sense. Sage can be wildly irrational at times, but you can very easily see where she's coming from here.
Rose still needs to come through on her end of the bargain, which is to admit to Zach that she's not a virgin. Zach nonchalantly says it's cool, because he's not either. Zach had sex with previous girlfriend Polly, a girlfriend Rose never knew existed. Zach and Polly met at space camp, which is awesome, but no, they did not have their sexual encounter in the space shuttle simulation, which would have been infinitely more awesome.
Mandy has scheduled a going-away party for Charlie, but Megan decides to take Charlie out for one last time with just the two of them. It was Will's idea, actually. Will's going to regret that idea. Megan and Charlie hang out on the beach, but Charlie eventually seizes the moment and plants a big kiss on Megan. He says that he loves her and has loved her for a long time, and if she can say the same, he won't move away.
Before Megan can respond, they are interrupted by a beach cop with horrible timing. The next morning, Megan checks back in with Charlie, but tries to blow the whole thing over as the two of them just having had a lot to drink. Charlie assures her that the alcohol had nothing to do with it and reiterates how he feels about Megan. Megan stammers and ultimately admits that she just doesn't feel the same way. Megan then goes to see Will and explains everything, a rare moment of clarity – you might have guessed that Megan would foolishly try to keep everything a secret. Not that this is going to resolve itself handily either way.
There's still the official good-bye party to go to. Megan still wants to go, though Will thinks it would be a terrible idea, seeing as how she just broke the heart of the guest of honor. But Megan's going anyway, so Will follows too in order to keep an eye on her. Will and Charlie proceed to give each other the evil eye until they face off and finally have their inevitable throwdown. They really only get in one punch each before they're pulled away from each other, so it's not much of a fight. Harold Lederman's card shows it as 10-9 for Charlie thanks to Will suffering a cut around the eye.
So at this point, everybody pretty much hates one another. Megan runs into Mandy, who lays out a devastating evisceration of how horrible a person Megan is. Megan is mad at Will, arguing that Will antagonized Charlie and provoked the fight. And in turn, Will is furious that Megan seems to be taking Charlie's side, which hits close to home with Charlie's pre-fight assertion that Will and Megan will never work out together.
Rose and Sage, meanwhile, have taken to the internet to research Zach's ex Polly. Sage instantly declares, as a show of support for her sister, that she hates Polly. Very helpful. Rose decides to take advantage of Polly's Facebook status updates to stalk her. Fortunately, Zach calls on the phone before Rose can do anything stupid. Rose admits what she's doing and agrees to stop and just come see Zach instead. But on the way to see him, Rose is interrupted by a stranger who actually has been stalking her the whole episode. Her name is Elyse, and she explains that Miles Franklin is her father. And also Rose's grandfather.
Finally, Megan and Charlie have their real good-bye. "It's been a crappy night. Year. Whatever," Charlie offers. Megan apologizes for everything, for being so oblivious as to his feelings for so long and for hurting her favorite person in the world. "I don't know why I don't feel the same way, but I do know that you're the most important person in my life," she explains. She adds that she's terrified now that she's lost her best friend, not just for a while but forever. Charlie comforts her and assures her that's not the case. He figures that the space will give them some time to cool down, and they'll still be friends like always when they meet again. And with that, Charlie heads off for good, on his way to San Diego. Mandy, meanwhile, will now go off to … Mandyville, presumably.
How undervalued was Charlie's character? He doesn't even get the big finale even in his character's final episode. After Charlie departs, there's still one more scene. Sage heads back to church, by herself this time, and ducks into confession. Remember a few weeks back, when Sage told Megan, in a complete non sequitur, that she had a big ginormous secret that she could never tell Rose? Here it is. Sage tells the priest that she is the reason her parents died. OK, Sage. Somehow I doubt it.
All in all, are you upset that Charlie's gone, or do you accept that the character really had nothing to do anymore? Who did you have as the winner in the Will-Charlie mini-brawl? Shouldn't Megan be much happier that two hot guys are fighting over her? What do you think will happen with the family revelations made by Sage and to Rose?