Who cares about the awards show. Let’s talk about the post parties!

Film studios and TV networks spend beaucoup bucks on the food, décor, booze and service staff for their official Globe after-parties. But that’s just smoke, black velvet and mirrors. The true test of a party’s hotness is the star power. The after-bash with the hottest gals, coolest dudes, cutest couples and award-clutching stars wins.

Here’s a quick rundown of who-got-who-and-where.

Host: In Style/Warner Bros.

Where: The Oasis, formerly Palm Court. Think a cavernous blue-lit disco space with spiky Giger-esque red glass tumor-lights over an enormous bar, big dance floor and outdoor smoking area.

Difficulty factor: Piece of cake. The best arrival viewing party and a chance for fans to scream at stars, ask for autographs and take photos. Stars DO stop to sign when they come and go. But once inside, good luck getting through the throng of tuxes and gowns to find them. Tip: head for the small outdoor smoking areas. Or try the dance floor, where Bill Macy and his Globe-winner wife Felicity Huffman were rocking out like teenagers at their high school prom.

Star count: George Clooney and Charlize Theron. Need we say more? OK, George was with his publicist, she was with her boyfriend, Stuart Townsend. Other hot couples: Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe, "OC" cuties Rachel Bilson and Mischa Barton, hardly desperate Nicollette Sheridan with Michael Bolton (creepy), Seal with Heidi Klum (creepier).

This was definitely THE hot babe bash: Jessica Biel, Jenna Elfman, Natasha Henstridge, Natalie Portman, Mandy Moore, Paris Hilton, Virginia Madsen and Rose McGowan, Melanie Griffiths‘ daughter, Dakota Johnson. And Adrien Brody.

Host: Universal/Focus Features/NBC

Where: An elevator ride up to the hotel’s garage rooftop.

Difficulty factor: From a 10 minute to half hour wait to get in. No one wanted nasty fire marshals to shut it down, which they’d do if the body count went over 800. Linger outside the big tent to catch red carpet action: Keira Knightley, Ang Lee and Rachel Weisz clutching their awards and talking about how surprised/nervous/happy they are.

Star count: Second place for celeb sizzle. Major points for “King Kong” director Peter Jackson.

Hot couples: Former Hobbit Dominic Monaghan and his "Lost" costar-squeeze Evangeline Lily, Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams, Zach Braff with Mandy Moore.

Hot dudes: Eric Bana, Cillian Murphy and Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Hugh Laurie, Matt Dillon, Luke Wilson, Patrick Dempsey. Oh, and Adrien Brody.

Memorable moment: Keira Knightley dancing up a storm, spinning around and giggling, while holding a glass of champagne. That’s what we call multitasking.

More parties…

Photo: Hot couple Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend definitely add some sizzle to the Warner Bros./In Style official Golden Globes after-party.
(Kevin Mazur / WireImage)

]]>Host: HBO

Where: The newly renovated Aqua Star Pool area featuring an enormous restaurant that opens up to outdoor poolside tables for smokers and star-seekers.

Difficulty factor: Stern guards. If you didn’t bring your invite, you might not get past these dudes. But once past, the check-in was pretty quick. And you can sloooowly walk past the red carpet to see stars, like Larry David in his natural habitat. Just don’t try to feed or pet him.

Star count: Considerably less stellar than their Saturday night pre-party at the Chateau Marmont. Larry David and his wife, the Hilton sisters, Cynthia Nixon, some “Rome” stars. No Sarah Jessica Parker. Maybe that big braided beehive gave her a headache.

Hottest star: “Lackawanna Blues” Globe winner S. Epatha Merkerson, who talked to a friend about having a menopausal hot flash coming on when accepting the award. ‘Nuff said.

Host: Glamour/L’Oreal and The Weinstein Co. Yes, Bob and Harvey have risen, phoenix-like, from the flames of the Disney debacle.

Where: The old Miramax party spot in Trader Vic’s, with an outdoor tented area decorated to look like a garden with fountains and flowers and faux lawns.

Difficulty factor: If you don’t know your way around the Beverly Hilton, you might not find the side hall that leads to Trader Vic’s. But once inside the narrow chute, it’s a straight shot to the girls with the guest lists. Then you can walk the red carpet and pass winners like Felicity Huffman or party girls Mischa Barton, the Hilton sisters and Mary-Kate Olsen talking to TV crews on the way. Great chance to wave at Mom and Dad at home. Tell them to watch for you on "Access" or "ET" on Tuesday.

Star count: Respectable. Scarlett Johansson, Mary-Louise Parker, Pierce Brosnan, Kevin Spacey, Mariah Carey and her entourage, Maggie Grace, Colin Firth, Joan and Melissa Rivers, and, you guessed correctly, Adrien Brody.

Memorable moment: By 11 p.m. Sandra Oh was the center of attention dancing spasmodically in her bare feet. Who knew she could do the Robot so well?

Host: Fox Studios and network.

Where: A long, sprawling eighth-floor suite with a spectacular view and lots of dining tables and living room-like seating. The studio took over the suite at the last minute when Showtime opted for a pre-Globes party on Saturday at Morton’s.

Difficulty factor: Pretty easy. Two guards at the elevator but no long lines. Misplaced your invite? No matter, smiling girls with lists will look for your name. Not on the list? No prob. Come in. No, don’t leave! Come back!

Star count: The hot “Walk the Line” stars Reese Witherspoon and an unusually good-natured Joaquin Phoenix, followed by “24” superagent Kiefer Sutherland. “Rupert Murdoch was here for an hour and a half,” a PR gal bragged. What, no Adrien Brody?

Posted by:LATimes