“The Real Housewives of New York City” are back — well, some of them are — for the Season 5 premiere of the Bravo series on Monday (June 4). And new girls Carole Radziwill, Heather Thomson and Aviva Drescher are already bringing the drama — not that Ramona Singer, Countess LuAnn de Lesseps and Sonja Morgan need any help in that department.
New this season, though, is all of the extreme awkwardness. A look at some of the more awkward moments from the premiere:
- Off the bat, we learn that Aviva’s ex-husband, Harry, is friends with Sonja, and they might have dated/might be dating. He also “went out for drinks once” with the Countess — which also sounds like a date. Yet Aviva is totally fine with hanging out with these women, which is either very well adjusted of her or totally crazy of her.
- Heather makes everyone uncomfortable at Sonja’s cocktail party by segueing with “My dad just died on Friday.” We also find out that Carole doesn’t hate kids; she just hates it when parents talk about their kids. And apparently, “I’m going to get a drink while you guys talk about kids” is a fine cocktail party segue.
- Aviva takes the party as an opportunity to tell Carole that her memoir, “What Remains,” about losing her husband to cancer, gave Aviva so much meaning in her life. But Carole doesn’t really want to talk about it. She does, however, want to tell people that “when you’re widowed, you can’t have sex for a year.”
- Ramona and Heather get to know each other better/have an uncomfortable contest comparing their children’s near-death birth experiences. While hanging at the Yummie Tummie HQ for Heather’s shapewear line, Heather tells Ramona that her kid had a liver transplant at 6 months — to which Ramona responds, “Avery was born dead.”
- Sonja and Aviva go get pedicures together, which sounds normal enough — until Aviva whips out her third leg (not a euphemism …). Aviva lost her foot in an accident on a manure conveyor belt when she was 6. But she has a leg for every occasion — tan, pale, flat shoes, high heels — so you’d never know it.
- At Ramona’s dinner party, Heather (again) tells everyone her dad died, but this time throws in that her friend in the wine business is blind and her mom’s boyfriend has a prosthetic leg. But Ramona and Mario aren’t having all this yammering from Heather, as they tag-team telling her that she cuts people off.
- Aviva tells Carole that she shouldn’t drink diet soda because artificial sweetener causes cancer — um, you know, that thing that killed Carole’s husband.
- The Countess joins Carole, Heather and Aviva for lunch — but not to actually eat. She just stays long enough to tell the new ladies that Ramona called and threatened to blackmail her. LuAnn’s been pressing Ramona for an apology for criticizing her parenting last season, but Ramona allegedly told LuAnn that if she keeps asking her to apologize, she’s going to “tell the world” whatever dirt she has on LuAnn and her kids. Then the Countess is gone as quickly as she arrived, leaving the newbies dumbfounded — except for Heather, who’s still talking about how she doesn’t cut people off.
How much more awkward can the season get? Very — if Sonja’s (blurred out) boobs-baring, Ramona’s shouting and Aviva’s “white trash”-calling in the previews are any indication.