real-housewives-of-new-jersey-kim-g-kim-d.jpgIn this episode of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” Caroline and Jacqueline deal with kid issues and Teresa finally opens her house to the public.

And then there were three…
After Dina’s departure, Jacqueline, Caroline and Teresa meet for lunch to discuss Dina’s exit. Caroline respects her for trying to sort it out with Danielle (but, she’s NOT saying I told you so) and Teresa worries that Danielle is going to be on the warpath. I would say that’s a safe bet.

Ashley is sorry, so sorry
Jacqueline and her husband, Chris, meet with Ashley for the first time since she was booted from the card game in the last episode. Amazingly, Ashley is really apologetic. I mean really, really apologetic. Not only is she really hard on herself, but also she says that she may want to move back in. Uh, huh. Chris says she’s always welcome back, but she’ll still have to follow the rules. It was interesting to learn that Chris has been in Ashley’s life since she was five. I was under the wrong impression that he entered her life much later. She’s a lucky girl to have people who care about her so much.

Later, Ashley returns and she has brought her bags. First, though, she wants to negotiate on her rules – most of all,  she wants to talk curfew. After hearing her out, Chris changes her weekend curfew to 2 a.m., but it’s still midnight on weekdays. I don’t know why she wants to move in so badly, but it’s sweet when she accepts her new rules and Jacqueline announces, “Your bed is ready for you.” Teary group hug!

real housewives of new jersey danielle staub boob 'Real Housewives of NJ': Attack of the killer KimsDanielle’s wonky boob
Danielle has a mutant boob. After three augmentations, she has an infection in one boob, which has made it hard to the touch. Gross. She goes to a plastic surgeon who tells her that he can fix it, but it won’t be the simplest procedure.

After being referred to a specialist, who I’ll call Dr. Hunk, Danielle gets prepped for surgery. After she’s out, Dr. Hunk starts to say what he honestly believes – Danielle’s rack is one of the worst cases he has ever seen and it’s going to involve a lot of work. The surgery goes well, though, and Danielle is back home with her daughters and espousing the symbolism of change in her new rack. OK, Danielle, you’re a new person from the rack down! Got it.

The future Manzos
?Caroline drops in on her daughter, Lauren, during her makeup class. She couldn’t be any prouder of her – especially after last season when she seemed to have very little direction and just a desire to do makeup.

Later, Caroline comes home to find a serious Albie. He tells her that he didn’t make the minimum GPA for law school and they don’t want him to return. On the verge of tears, he tells his mom that he has been working so hard, but he has a learning disability that makes it very hard for him. Through tears, Caroline gives him the pep talk of his life. It was great to hear her really dig deep to help her son get through what could be a very pivotal moment in his life. One of those do or die times! And I thought Caroline did what she had to do. I hope Albie can take that and go forward. Later, she brings it up with her husband, Albert, and discovers they’re both on the same page. Albie is just going to have to fight.

Then, Caroline and Albert take their kids out to dinner to celebrate Lauren’s impending graduation from makeup school. Yet, Albie seems to have suffered quite a hit to his ego. He’s being overly sensitive to the family’s jokes and the fact that even Chris seems to be doing better than him. Caroline is pretty over his moping. In her confessional interview, she says it’s Albie’s choice at this point to fight back or not.

Teresa’s housewarming AKA The attack of the Kims
Teresa has hired event producer, Elvira, to plan her housewarming party. When she comes over to scope the place out, she totally offends Teresa. First, she can’t believe that she has no live-in help and then she wonders why Teresa doesn’t have a pool. When Teresa says she doesn’t want the work of a pool, the conversation goes back to getting help. Ugh.

Then, Teresa and Jacqueline go shopping at Kim D.’s store. Remember her? She’s the other two-faced Kim. While shopping, she mentions that she went to Danielle’s luncheon. Teresa is surprised to hear she went when she said she wasn’t really friendly with Danielle at Caroline’s benefit. Teresa wanted to invite her to her party, but now she’s not sure she wants anyone who’s friends with Danielle there.

On party day, Elvira has arrived with her minions who are all ready to transform Teresa’s home into Studio 54. She’s nuts and mean to her employees, but it looks as if she gets the job done. While Teresa is getting her hair done, Jacqueline calls. Turns out that the other two-face, Kim G., has gotten wind of Teresa’s party and texted Jacqueline wishing her a good time at the party. Read: I know about Teresa’s party, so why am I not invited? Feeling guilty, Teresa agrees to invite Kim G., even though she didn’t want any of Danielle’s friends around. Can’t wait to hear the lies that spew out of Kim G.’s mouth this time.

The party is on and it’s just as crazy as Elvira and gaudy enough for Teresa. Everyone thought it was amazing upon entering. After a grand (and late) entrance, Teresa and Joe seemed to be having a great time. Then, when Teresa gets on stage to make a speech, she calls up Caroline and Jacqueline to say a couple nice things about her friends. Then suddenly, Kim D. is on stage! She has totally interrupted Teresa. I love when Caroline said that if Kim D. were her kid, she’d choke her. I love Caroline.

real housewives of new jersey jacqueline laurita kim g 'Real Housewives of NJ': Attack of the killer KimsThings got bad, though, when the Kims started talking to Ashley about Danielle. Caroline overhears and she puts a stop to it. Although, Kim G. is special (and not in the good way) and she doesn’t take Caroline’s hint. She pulls Caroline aside and starts telling her that Jacqueline is obsessed with Danielle. Here comes the best part! Jacqueline overheard Kim G. say it and she’s not having it. She sets her straight by telling her that there’s a difference between upset and obsessed. Plus, Kim G. is the one who comes over to Jacqueline’s house to talk about Danielle not the other way around. Jacqueline ends it by giving her the hand and walking away.

What’s your take on the crazy killer Kims?

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Photo credit: Bravo

Posted by:Jethro Nededog