The Rock of Love Bus is down to 7 deadly sinners since Kami left because Brett's a man-whore and Kelsey left because Brett couldn't understand her propensity for drunken sobbing while laying across speed bumps. But who could?
With the body count dropping, Brett made the decision to cram them all into one bus. That should work out well. Proving that he's king in the less-than-smart thinking department, the challenge this week is babysitting. Even more, the kids are the children of military moms who are either in service themselves or have a spouse in Iraq. Haven't these children been through enough? Now they will have to let Brett know who the best "mommy" is so Brett can take her on a date.
The girls are provided with bikinis, likely so they can be sure that all the no-no bits are covered at least somewhat appropriately. Right away, Beverly tries to take charge and also campaigns for votes. But when one child wanders away, Ashley is the only one to notice and to bring him back to the kiddie pool. Actually, she is really good with kids, likely because her own maturity level is about equivalent. With added skank. Also, if any of the kids fall in the deep end, they can use her as a floatation device! And in the end, the kids pick her as their favorite.
That evening, Brett decides to go out with all the girls. Bev decides to make her way through a bottle of vodka with the usual results. She tells Brett "you betta check yo'self before you wreck yo'self". As the night wears on, she gets more belligerent and stumbles around until it's time to go. As Brett gets cozier with the other girls, she loses more of her limited cool.
Beverly finally completely goes off the deep end as Brett relaxes on the beach with Ashley, Farrah, Brittanya and Jamie and Farrah comments that she's not paying attention to Brett. Beverly yells back "No! Brett is not paying attention to us!". And when Farrah tells her to try harder, she demands to know how she should do that – by hiking up her skirt or pulling down her shirt. She stalks away and goes to the room by herself to try and sober up hopefully.
During all this, Mindy and Taya had already stalked away in disgust themselves. And then, to keep the cameras interested, went topless hot tubbing before returning to the room to take a shower together. Not long after, Ashley, Farrah and Brittanya abandon Brett on the beach to use the bathroom – giving Jamie alone time with him. Which is likely because they don't feel threatened by her due to her lack of silicon. However, they forget Brett completely when they hear Mindy and Taya in the shower together talking about how girls "like that" are not they type you marry. Farrah assumes they are talking about her (which says a lot about her self-esteem) and rips open the shower curtain to start yelling at them. Brittanya and Ashley spring into action by dumping a jar of salsa in Mindy's luggage, causing Taya and Mindy to get their own room.
On Ashley's date, she and Brett ride ATV's on the beach before eating chicken fingers while Brett tries to advise her that Farrah is dragging her down. Which pisses off Ashley. Apparently, she is there for Farrah as much as for Brett. Possibly more. Ho's before Bro's, I guess. After the date, Taya tells Brett about what happened, making him question why Taya is there. Probably because she tells him that her boss asked if she could get kicked off the tour early.
Before the elimination, Brett asks to speak with Farrah and Beverly. The jist of it all being that Farrah is falling into the friend zone and Beverly needs to drink less. But, at elimination, alcoholism overcomes lack of personality as Beverly stays and Farrah goes home. Was anyone else dismayed by how upset Taya got by being in the final two? It seems like she has a good head on her shoulders, aside from choosing to be on this show!