There are four girls left on the Rock of Love Bus, but they manage to make enough drama to fill the hour in astoundingly tiresome ways. And you thought the blonds were irritating?
We start with the girls starting to realize that Taya talks non-stop. With the blonds present to interrupt with their obnoxiousness, this fact had escaped their notice. But since the girls left are all too polite to tell her to shut up, they are forced to listen to her constant stream of running commentary about what she is doing and every thought that passes through her head. Which are about as stunning and insightful as you would expect.
The challenge this week is nothing new. The girls are to write and sing lyrics to a song Brett wrote. Beverly sang first and she was much better than I expected. Also, she used the word "skanks" in her song, so extra points there. I am not sure why, but just go with it. Jamie sang with about all the tonal quality that her speaking voice has. Taya sounded incredible, which just seemed to annoy everyone else. In fact, Mindy leans over to the other girls and suggests maybe they were wrong about Taya promoting Penthouse – that she's actually there to get a singing career. Because that worked so well for girls on previous seasons. Mindy sings and…well, Jamie is glad someone sounded worse than her.
It's clear that Taya won, but when Brett announces it, there's dead silence. Not even Taya makes a sound, instead casting her eyes down and acting like she's just too, too humble and overwhelmed and possibly a little misunderstood to be able to cheer and say, oh…I don't know…thank you? Gosh, I cant wait? Anything? Brett announces that the competition was so close, he decided to add a second girl to the date. And they do the goofy call-back thing so we can hear his song and promote some phones again. Beverly wins, much to Taya's irritation and Beverly's utter joy.
Before the date, Mindy decides that it would be a good idea to tell Taya what she said about her promoting a music career. Because Mindy has never met Taya before? The only thing that Taya promotes herself as is a victim and that is exactly what she will turn this into. Beverly and Taya join Brett on a private jet to fly to a venue he will be performing at. They are both annoyed that the other is there, but when Beverly pulls out souvenirs for Brett to sign…well, it's clear who is going home tonight. That is a misstep the likes of which I am not sure has been witnessed on Rock of Love before. Taya snickers as Brett signs. Meanwhile, back at the hotel, Mindy and Jamie have decided to take "classy slutty" pictures of each other. So much for originality.
When Beverly and Taya return, it's time for Taya to lose her mind over the issue of what she may or may not be promoting. And I am not sure I have ever seen a more boring argument ever, so I am not saying anything else about it. The next morning, brett makes scrambled eggs for the girls and asks for gossip, but everyone is tightlipped. Beverly tries to egg Taya on about the fight, but she denies everything and no one makes eye contact. Brett eventually gives up and asks Mindy to accompany him away for some private time. Which Jamie interrupts to give him the photos, but Mindy was spending all the time complaining about Taya anyway, so who cares.
When elimination time rolls around, Beverly is told her tour is over, which comes as a surprise to exactly no one. So, who's next? Will Mindy finally crack as Jamie suspects? Or will Jamie's groupie roots and inability to have a unique thought send her packing? And will Taya win it all?