, airing Saturday, Aug. 2, on Animal Planet. From Aachen, Germany, this prestigious event is the last chance for riders to make the U.S. Olympic Equestrian Team. So grab your crop, a velvet-covered crash helmet and the horse you rode in on — we’re partying show-jumper style.
Setting the scene:
Jumping is elegant, it’s classy, it’s fun. Hey, it’s for horses! And all you need to do in order to pretend you’re right in the middle of it is fill your room with white jumps and boxes filled with red carnations. Brown carpet remnants can replace the need to fill your living room with actual dirt — unless you own a Dyson. Giant blue ribbons should adorn the walls. Life-size fiberglass horses prove you are truly committed to the theme. Horse-themed party favors help bring that fresh manure smell right indoors. By the way, the U.S. Olympic Equestrian Team bound for Beijing will be announced at the conclusion of the Grand Prix.
Equestrians are the best-dressed people in sport, so do yourself a favor and slip on a pair of jodhpurs, some paddock boots, a show coat and a helmet and give a little whinny when you take the reins. And, since we’re all rich, a Rolex.
On the menu:
Oats, carrots and apples. Hey, if it’s good enough for horses. (Did we already use that joke?) Serve everyone extra tall Horse’s Necks: 1 lemon spiral, 2 ounces of brandy, 5 ounces of ginger ale and a dash of bitters — neigh, make that 2 dashes. Ha! We can’t stop ourselves.
On the hi-fi:
A Horse With No Name by America, Wildfire by Michael Martin Murphey, Wild Horses by Garth Brooks, Back in the Saddle Again by Aerosmith, Jump by Van Halen, Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses by U2.
After you’ve checked your local zoning laws, go the extra mile and bring actual show jumpers to your home. These horses are looking for a home and seem reasonably priced. Well, one is $100,000, but it might get you to Beijing. Then again … .