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Tonight’s episode of Big Brother: ‘Til Death Do You Part offered some free advice for all of you future reality show contestants out there: always, always stay under the radar when someone has the absolute power to send you packing.

(Soulmate-ridden spoilers below…)

Obviously, Jacob had never heard this sound proposal before, because he seemed to relish "stirring the pot" for no apparent reason, telling Jen how he overheard people in the house calling her partner Parker "a snake," "gutless" and  "heartless." I’m not sure Jacob knows what all of those words mean. Also, I’m not sure what he thought this would accomplish considering Jen is Parker’s partner and they have the power to send one couple home this week. I’m thinking Jacob is not the brightest bulb. Jen immediately tells Parker of this news, and the entire house confronts Jacob when no one admits to being the person who originally said the offending remarks. Because Jacob made them up. Right? There is no other explanation. Jacob continues to blame a mystery houseguest, and his ex-girlfriend and partner Sharon even tries to help their case by implying to Parker that Ryan was the one who said th offensive comments. Uh oh, Sharon, bad move! Seeing as Jen and Ryan are secretly dating, this seals Jacob and Sharon’s fate for good and Jen and Parker use their Power Couple powers to send the estranged exes packing.  I have to admit I giggled a little bit at this turn of events. I love it when one of Big Brother’s big twists is ruined because of idiotic gameplay.

One interesting thing to come of all of these shenanigans is the exposure of Ryan and Jen’s secret relationship. After Parker implies he wants to get rid of Ryan and Allison, Jen decides to let him in on the secret. Parker pretty much takes it in stride, and Jen assures him she is his partner until the end, over Ryan. Sure, Jen. As soon as Ryan (unhappily) finds out what Jen did he decides to tell his partner Allison as well. Allison doesn’t take the news nearly as well, mostly because she was totally crushing on cuddly teddy bear Ryan. Her catty side immediately shows, even going so far as to say she’s a better match for Ryan than Jen. Methinks she is taking those pre-show personality tests a wee bit seriously. The segment ends with Parker, Ryan, Allison and Jen having some sort of Mexican standoff of not trusting each other via the diary room.

The HoH competition this week is a total ripoff of The Newlywed Game. Well, they use chalkboards instead of poster board. So, actually totally different!  Instead of Bob Eubanks, though, past contestants Eric and Jessica show up to emcee. Yes, they’re still together. Yes, that shocks the pants right off me. Why, Jessica, why? The game goes on for quite a while, with the contestants having to dress up to illustrate their answers instead of just saying them like normal people. In Big Brother’s defense, this is far more amusing than it has any right to be. We get to learn important tidbits like Adam’s desire to be dominated and what Jen would look like with disgustingly hairy legs. In the end, Amanda and Alex fight it out with Natalie and Matt, but Amanda and Alex take the crown when Alex remembers Amanda is sporty. Yay for athletic girls. Also, yay for Amanda’s short shorts. Those are truly impressive.

The show ends with Allison ominously saying she’s not sure she wants to keep Ryan and Jen’s secret. Never underestimate a woman (slightly) scorned!

Favorite quotes:

  • "I like to turn the chicken up." – Jacob, talking of stirring the pot
  • "Scandalous!" – Parker, learning of Jen and Ryan’s secret relationship
  • "Ryan would be better off with someone like me, who’s less jealous and catty and [doesn’t] need to be the center of attention at all times." – Allison, cattily talking about Jen
  • "Sheila is so negative." – Jen, stating the obvious
Posted by:Carrie Raisler