Side Order of Life gives our three main women potentially happy endings this week — which can’t be good, because it’s not the end. Jenny thinks she’s found Cell Phone Man, Vivy thinks she’s found a man to love her despite her illness, and Becca thinks she’s finally landed Ian. I can’t help but think things aren’t going to stay happy for long.

I’d like you to meet the man of my dreams: Mr. Spoiler. Isn’t he fantastic?

Jenny is shocked when Margo wanders in holding her letter from dad — and yep, he’s gone. He definitely won’t be coming back to the marriage, and he may or may not be coming back to town. Jenny is hurt and betrayed, as it’s all about her. Ok, that was unduly harsh, but seriously, her folks have been miserable together for her entire life. Why is she disappointed when her dad finally stops pretending? Sure, he could have handled it better — you know, said goodbye, actually talked to people instead of writing a note and scurrying off into the night — but his leaving really has very little to do with Jenny.

Jenny takes Margo over to see Vivy for financial advise, since Margo has no clue how to be anything other than a Lady Who Lunches And Sleeps With Pool Boys. Margo bemoans her fate — oh, woe is me, discarded, abandoned, left without a purpose! — which… eh, listen, babe, you were the one who chose to be a trophy wife, a woman of leisure, etc. Nothing would have stopped you from having a job, or pursuing interests that did not involve boy toys. I have a hard time feeling sympathetic. I do feel a twinge for her when Jenny finds her huddled in her bed, one it finally hits her she’s alone. I’m not made of stone.

Ian decides to take things to the next level with Becca. Rick thinks he’s crazy — this is a rebound relationship, Becca’s a crazy stalker, you’re still just getting over Jenny! — but Ian won’t hear of it. He proposes to Becca, who gleefully accepts, and decides to turn down a great job opportunity in Seattle so she can stay with Ian. She also takes Jenny’s ring for a test drive, which doesn’t go over well. Becca… I’m undecided toward her. I lean toward potentially psycho stalker, but she’s growing on me.

Vivy needs to take a trip down to Mexico to pick up some cheaper — and, in some cases, not-yet-legal-in-the-US — cancer drugs, but she gets too sick to go, booting all over the interior of Rick’s car. Rick wants to take care of Vivy, so he calls his arch-rival, Eduardo, editor of the shallow (!!) version of the magazine in Mexico. Vivy is horrified to learn Rick told Eduardo — she kicked him out of bed so he wouldn’t be around to watch her get sick, so she could have one relationship that wasn’t tainted by pity! Rick is gobsmacked and slinks away. Poor Rick.

I like Eduardo, in that he’s so easy not to like — he’s self-important, shallow, entirely too pleased with himself, and not terribly difficult to look at. He’s a good, one-dimensional character. But they have to go mess that up, give him dimension, because he turns into a concerned nice guy when he appears at Vivy’s door with her drugs, and tells her passionately that he’s not going to run away because she’s sick, and she’s an extraordinary woman, and blah blah blah I liked him better when he was just an arrogant one-night stand. Oh well. Vivy’s happy, though — and apparently Eduardo brought some sexual healing along with non-FDA-approved drugs, so she can put the dildo away for a while. She also apologizes to Rick, who decides that Vivy called him handsome, so he’s ok.

Jenny’s story of the week is about a "coma whisperer," a nurse who specializes in taking care of coma patients and getting them to wake up. She does this by staying by her patients’ bedside at all times, talking to them and bombarding them with the sounds and smells they loved before they went into the coma. Her current charge, a little girl with meningitis, wakes up, and she’s left alone and lonely.

I can’t quite tell what that storyline had to do with the greater story as a whole, unless it was a cautionary tale for Jenny. See, Jenny overhears a guy at a restaurant talking about how he lost his cell phone somewhere in China, so he doesn’t have "her" number anymore. Jenny assumes he’s her guy, and eventually tracks him down and has a not-terribly-clear conversation with him — "Are you him?" What’s he supposed to say but yes? They date, and Jenny is sure she’s found her match — and the rest of us are sure she hasn’t. That’s wasn’t Ian Ziering’s voice on the phone, for one thing, and it’s not the right time for happy-ever-afters. She’s going to wake up from this little dream and be awfully lonely, I predict.

Who do you think is most destined for heartbreak — Becca with Ian, Jenny with Cell Fauxne Man, or Vivy with Eduardo? Is Jenny’s dad a schmuck for leaving Margo this way? Do you feel sorry for Margo being left without a purpose, or frustrated that never figured out her own damn purpose for herself? And is Rick destined to pine for Vivy forever, or will he finally figure out he’s the one who really love her?

Posted by:Sarah Jersild