On “Smallville”: Clark and Lois hit the road to cover a cherry festival for the paper and chat about all things Kryptonian. Far from being freaked out, Lois thinks Clark is godly. He’s also kind of a sneak: He got them assigned to this dumb cherry story in order to keep Lois away from an anti-vigilante rally in the city.
Lois doesn’t have long to be ticked, though, because their car runs over a nail-studded piece of wood and comes down with two flats. Lois seeks refuge with a friendly young girl who shows up seemingly out of nowhere with lemonade and a horse-drawn buggy. While Clark is down the road getting a new tire, the little girl takes Lois to her creepy cultish village. It seems innocent at first, but Lois soon learns the village means to sacrifice her, like they’ve sacrificed one woman every year since their leader’s daughter was killed by the meteor shower of 1989. Clark tries to rescue her, but the whole town is infected with blue K, rendering him essentially powerless. They gut him with a sickle and bury him, far enough away from the meteorites to allow him to heal.
He returns, godlike, to rescue Lois, much to the villagers’ awe. Also, he has a shotgun. In the end, he and Lois return to Smallville where, with surprisingly little talk and an unsurprising plethora of candles, they fornicate in an ungodly way.
In the episode’s depressing subplot, Tess has employed a doctor to come up with a cure to slow down Alexander’s rapid aging. Tess is determined to give the boy love and raise him up right, by giving him birthday parties and such. But Alexander has started having nightmares about Clark trying to kill him. The original Lex’s memories are starting to come to him, to the point that he remembers how Tess clings to powerful men like Oliver, Original Flavor Lex and now Clark. She slaps him, then apologizes profusely to Alexander. He insists his name is Lex now. Tess, horrified, tells the doctor to stop working for a cure. She’s going to let Lex age himself to death in six weeks because she’s convinced he’s inherently evil. Hey, here’s an idea: Maybe Original Flavor Lex and New Lex are screwed up because they had parents who were horrified by them and wanted them dead.
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