In tonight’s landmark 100th episode of “Supernatural,” called “Point of No Return,” we open in a dingy bar, where the Angel Zachariah is nursing a drink and commiserating with a fellow depressed barfly about the plight of the misunderstood working man, er, angel.
Then there’s a bit of rattle and roll, high-pitched, ear-splitting noises and general eye-burning mayhem, but it’s just the Almighty (or one assumes it is) putting in a call, informing Zachariah that he’s back in the game. Not so much good luck for the barfly and bartender, though
Ah, there’s sad Dean, swilling straight from the bottle, packing up the stuff, writing a note on the cheap-motel stationery. He takes out a gun, packs it with the note and prepares to send it all to Robert Singer (no, not the show’s executive producer Robert Singer, but fellow hunter Bobby).
Then Sam appears just as Dean’s about to down another one, and he guesses that Dean’s going to off himself because he’s about to become Michael’s “muppet.” Dean’s still steaming about Sam running away, but Sam swears he’s repented, and Bobby is working on something (picturing writer Robert Singer, hunched over his laptop, desperately working on the season finale, but enough of this fourth-walling …)
Dean’s not buying the “Yes, We Can” scenario, until he turns and gets a quick Cas zap to Bobby’s place. Bobby’s not up for the nuclear Michael option on account of the unacceptable collateral damage, but Dean doesn’t want to hear it . Bobby produces the gun and the bullet he thinks daily about using to kill himself, but he doesn’t because, as he bellows, he promised Dean he wouldn’t give up.
Cas then gets a “something’s happening” migraine and pops off to parts unknown, which turn out to be a forest inhabited by a nasty bald man in glasses and a suit, wielding a very long knife. A battle ensues, before another suit-wearing dude shows up. Cas winds up icing them both.
Then he goes back to his original purpose, pulling a buried somebody out from under the leaves.
Back at Bobby’s, Cas whirlwinds in and drops none other than Adam Milligan (a k a Winchester), half-brother to the boys and last seen going out in a blaze of glory on a funeral pyre — and he looks grubby but remarkably uncrispy.
“Angels’ is Cas’ explanation, but he’s short on deets. He gives Adam an angelic zap and he wakes up, all like, “Where am I?” Click here for full details, but in short, the last time we saw Adam in season four’s “Jump the Shark,” he was actually a ghoul, and the real Adam was dead and didn’t meet Sam and Dean.
But this resurrected Adam has gotten the 411 on the Winchesters from the angels, and he demands a meet with Zachariah.
After Adam gets cleaned up, he explains he’s been up in heaven, enjoying an endless prom night making out with a girl, but then angels appeared and told he he’d been chosen to save the world by becoming the Archangel Michael’s vessel.
Cas allows as how the angels may be moving on to the next son in the Winchester line, tossing in a dis of Dean’s courage along the way. Sam’s cranky that the angels have a Plan B (dude, ALWAYS have a Plan B).
Sam tries to get Adam off the angelic team, but he’s not buying it, forcing Sam to invoke the blood-is-thicker-than-angels argument, which also cuts no mustard with Adam. All he wants is to see his only family member, Mom, again.
Adam’s then left alone with Bobby, and a good look at the wheelchair convinces him to try to make a break for it, but Sam stops him. Bro love or no, Adam’s not going anywhere.
Sam tries to pull the bad-dad card, but Adam informs him he has nothing to complain about. Meanwhile, Dean’s locked up in the tank, under the watchful eye of Cas, who lets Sam in for a visit. So, Dean wants to keep Adam from being a vessel, and Sam wants to keep Dean from being a vessel, and Dean doesn’t want to get Adam killed (again), and Sam doesn’t want Dean to become a martyr for the cause.
But Dean’s just bone-weary and a quart low on faith in Sam’s ability to hold off Lucifer, and Dean feels he’s the only one that could keep Samifer from destroying the world.
A while after Sam leaves, Cas heads back down to the tank, peeps in, sees a mess, opens the door and gets himself symbol-zapped. Now free, Dean grabs a coat and sneaks out the basement hatch.
Meantime, Adam’s having a playground rdeam in which he chats with Zachariah, who teases him with promises of imminent Mom. Apparently Zachariah can’t GPS Adam, and reminds him how unreliable the boys are (oh, and he throws in “erotically co-dependent” as well, just for the fanfic-ers out there. Enjoy!).
Zachariah makes his best pitch, and then Adam wakes up.
Out in the world, Dean runs into a street-corner doomsayer who claims communication with angels. Dean introduces himself, and the dude starts to pray it out, but Cas appears and gives Dean a whuppin’. Dean begs for death, but Cas doesn’t oblige, instead delivering a knockout touch.
Back at Bobby’s, Sam and Bobby discover Adam has disappeared into thin air. Cas pops in with Dean, explaining that the angels took Adam. Cas has an idea where Adam went, and it’s a place with girly paintings, loads of beer and stacks of burgers. Adam’s ready for Michael, but Zachariah explains that he’s not so chosen after all, but instead was used as bait.
It’s still all about Dean, whom Zachariah assumes will come after Adam, because family is the Winchesters’ Achilles’ heel.
Adam’s in no mood to be a worm on a hook, but Zachariah still dangles Mom in front of him. Oh, the he makes him vomit blood.
Back at Bobby’s again, Dean is chained up in the tank, with a serious angel hangover. Sam gives him the lowdown on Adam’s inaccessible location, then informs him that the brothers are going after him together. Dean feels it’s a trap and informs Sam he’ll give in if it comes to that, but Sam isn’t having any of that.
Despite disappointments, being brothers still counts for a lot in Sam’s book.
The boys wind up at a dilapidated muffler factory in Van Nuys, Calif., and hey, there’s couple of palm trees, so either they were borrowed from “Psych,” or this was filmed during a SoCal sojourn. By the looks of that cloudless cerulean sky, I vote for Cali.
Cas says there are five angels inside, and you know it’s serious, because he takes off his tie. He heads inside, where there’s an improbably little house, and immediately smokes one bald angel. A couple more appear, a dude with hair and a chick (why do angels dress like Men in Black? Did they raid a funeral home for vessels?).
Then Cas rips open his shirt, revealing a symbol carved in his chest, and gives all the surrounding angels a killer whammy.
Dean finally comes in and sees Cas’ wreckage. He goes into the improbably little house, which turns out to be the fancy French room that contains Adam — and Zachariah, who just didn’t see Sam coming, not that it makes any difference. Sam winds up flying across the room anyway.
Zachariah makes Adam vomit blood again, then does the same to Sam. Zachariah then taunts Dean with his lack of a choice, and Dean crumbles and says yes. Zachariah puts out the call (which, BTW has to be the lamest incantation yet on this show).
There’s big rumbling, but first, Dean has some con
ditions. He wants the safety of certain folks guaranteed, but his chief concern is that before Michael slips him on, he pulverizes Zachariah. Oops, looks like Dean’s been hiding a little knife, and he skewers Zachariah.
There’s that high-pitched sound again. Somebody’s eyeballs are going to melt unless they get out of there. Sam and Dean escape, but Adam is stuck inside. The blinding white light fades, and when Dean goes in, the decor — and Adam and Zachariah’s body — are gone.
Back in the Impala, Sam wants to know why Dean didn’t ultimately give in, and Dean says he just didn’t want to let his freakishly tall lil’ bro down. Dean admits that if Sam is man enough to have faith in him, the least he can do is return the favor.
“Screw destiny,” he says, “right in the face. I say we take the fight to them and do it our way.”
Awww, that’s my Deanie!
Glad he’s back in the saddle, but this bronc ain’t done buckin’. Next week is “Hammer of the Gods,” and an appearance by the Prince of Darkness himself.