In “My Bloody Valentine,” tonight’s mythology-heavy episode of The CW’s “Supernatural,” it’s time for the return of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, or at least the one with the eating disorder.
We’re in a small town on St. Valentine’s Day, and a couple on its first date decides to fast-forward right past the roses and chocolate to mutual cannibalism.
In the aftermath, Sam and Dean arrive in their suit-and-tie FBI agent personas, and Sam discovers that the girl in question was a virgin.
Meanwhile, Dean has been making friends at the coroner’s, where he viewed the victims of the love munchies. Sam urges Dean to take the night off and go prowl through the Valentine’s leftovers, but he’s not into it.
One murder and a suicide pact later, Agents Marley and Cliff are back in the morgue, where Sam gets a whiff of something. Thanks to the largesse of a very friendly medical examiner, the boys poke through the remains and discover that the victims’ hearts bear angelic marks. Dean calls Castiel, who does that unnerving “Pop! I’m Here!” thing.
Castiel identifies the mark of Cupid — or more precisely, a lower order of angels, a cherub, third class — and fears one of the little love monkeys has gone rogue.
They seek the cherub out in a singles bar, but when they find the naked middle-aged-guy love bug, who hands out really inappropriate hugs like candy, it turns out that he’s just working under orders (and those orders included, way back when, doing what was necessary to ensure that the Winchesters hooked up and procreated, because Heaven wanted a little Dean and Sam of its own).
Then there’s another death, and the Sam discovers this one didn’t die from love, but from an overdose of Twinkies. The doc downs a drink, and I don’t blame him, but more on that later.
Dean calls in to report on eight suicides and 19 overdoses, but Sam’s a little more interested in the tasty demon that crosses his path again. Sam slashes the demon dude and after barely resisting the pull of the blood on the knife, delivers the suitcase he was carrying to Dean.
Turns out it contains a human soul. Cass arrives, stuffing a burger into his mouth. He’s figured out that it’s not about Cupid, it’s about hunger, brought on by the arrival of the Horseman called Famine. Obviously, it’s not just hunger for love, it’s hunger for whatever you’re lacking (and Cass’ vessel, Jimmy, was a red-meat kind of guy).
Famine arrives at a diner — looking like a scrawny, snaggle-toothed invalid — and sends everyone into a deadly frenzy. And when they’re done, it’s dinnertime … until Famine hears that the yummy Sam is in town. Unfortunately, the demon delivering the news is the same one that lost the soul, and he winds up being next on the menu.
The boys and Cass formulate a plan, which involves getting the ring that contains Famine’s mojo. While Cass downs burger after burger, Sam is seriously feeling his demon-blood addiction and advises Dean to chain him up for his own good.
Dean returns to the morgue, only to discover that the doc was a recovering alcoholic who went fatally off the wagon. Cass realizes he still has his soul, so they figure they can use him as bait for Famine.
During the stakeout, Cass downs another burger but wonders why Dean seems immune. Dean’s theory is that whatever he wants, he gets, so he doesn’t suffer any cravings. We’ll see how that idea holds up under later scrutiny.
Meanwhile, two demons arrive to rough up Sam, but instead wind up being his latest fix. Our boy’s back in the red once again.
Dean and Cass trace the suitcase demon to the diner, and it’s Cass’ job to use the knife to cut off Famine’s finger, take the ring on it, then come back the parking lot. When that doesn’t happen instantly, Dean heads inside to discover a crispy-fried corpse. Cass, meanwhile, has dug into the raw hamburger. (Man, I hope that’s raw hamburger.)
Famine grabs Dean and proceeds to give a lecture on the unsatisfying nature of American consumerism. (Um, didn’t I just see a bunch of commercials? Seems somebody’s pretty satisfied with American consumerism. But I digress.) Dean points out that he’s not having tummy rumbles, and Famine concludes it’s because he’s broken and defeated and already dead inside.
Dean doesn’t seem inclined to disagree.
But then Sammy, juiced to the gills on demon squeeze, arrives to save the day. Famine’s happy he enjoyed the demons he sent, and now he offers up his current bodyguards. Sam sucks out their demon essence, but doesn’t go for more blood. Not one to let a good meal go to waste, Famine slurps them up instead, secure in the knowledge that Sam’s power won’t work on a Horseman.
But, it will work on the demons that are now in his gut, so Sam gives Famine the mother of all bellyaches.
Dean and Cass lock Sam up until he gets over his blood jones, but even a beer doesn’t make Dean happy. He heads outside and, finally, begins to break down. He looks Heavenward and admits that he can’t do it alone, that he needs some help.
Hey, kiddo, sometimes you just have to ask.
But, the answer from above doesn’t seem to be coming next week (or should I say, in the next episode –on March 25. Sorry, was very late when I wrote this), as the previews indicate zombies.
Will Dean’s prayer be answered? Probably. Although, one has to remember, assuming all prayers are answered, sometimes the answer may be “No” or “Not at this time.”
Why We Laugh:
Sam: “Dean, it’s Valentine’s Day, your favorite holiday, remember? I mean, what do you always call it, ‘Unattached Drifter Christmas’?”