supernatural jensen ackles jared padalecki 320 'Supernatural' recap: Live Free Or TwihardWhen six girls vanish from Limestone, Illinois, in the space of seven days, Our Intrepid Heroes trek to lovely central Kankakee County to see if this is, indeed, their kind of thing, and after several long minutes of Twilight-related misdirection and “comedy,” they reach the foregone conclusion. Seems a nest of Illinois vampires has been luring barely-legal Twitards to their doom while also knocking over several of the county’s bloodmobiles, so the boys stake out the goth bar wherein the last victim was last seen until they encounter a couple of likely suspects. They split up to chase after the pallid lads — because splitting up is always such a good idea in these situations — and while Sam ends up tracking and decapitating an actual vampire, Dean wastes time chasing after some glitter-bedecked wannabe who’s just out to get laid. Until, that is, the coven’s leader emerges from the grim downstate shadows to smack Dean around for a bit, after which the coven’s leader turns him! DUN! While Evil Sammy watches from afar, twirling his nefarious moustaches! Dun-dun-DUN!

Things quite naturally go to hell pretty quickly after that for Dean, but fortunately, Grampa Campbell arrives on the scene with instructions for a terribly convenient vampire cure that he just happened to swipe from his own granddaddy’s Demonic Day Planner, and all they need to whip up a batch of the stuff using blood from Dean’s vampire sire. So, quite naturally, Dean races off to Cicero to scare the living crap out of Bendy Lisa and The Brat with his bloodshot eyes and brand-new fangs. Yeah, I don’t know what the hell that scene was doing in this episode, either.

In any event, it is only after thus so efficiently destroying the one stable relationship he’d ever had in his life that Dean returns to Limestone to invade the abandoned bank the vampires are using as their home base and slaughter everyone. Grampy quickly concocts the cure, Dean goes back to normal after vomiting up a bucketful of bitterly black vampiric bile, and in the end… absolutely nothing happens, actually, because Dean totally does not confront Evil Sammy over the latter’s nefarious moustache-twirling ways. Wimp.

Photo credit: The CW

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