supernatural jensen ackles jared padalecki 320 Supernatural recap: The Hardy Boys <i>Really</i> Need To Wrap it UpAfter a very promising opening sequence positively bursting with grue and gore, this episode quickly settles back into the same sort of boring routine that’s dragged down so many other installments of this show over the last couple of years. It seems a certain someone or something has taken to slaughtering various young men in the Seattle area and, as one would expect, the unusual method of death — severing the hands and the feet before carving a mysterious symbol into the victims’ chests — catches the attention of Our Intrepid Heroes. Well, it catches the attention of one of them, at any rate, because we first have to endure yet another of those Are You Sure This Is Our Kind Of Thing?/Yes, You Pathetic Drunk, I Am Positive This Is Our Kind Of Thing! conversations before Dreary El Deano agrees to accompany Darling Sammy on a road trip to the Pacific Northwest to see what’s going on. And barely have they arrived when Dreary El Deano decides to bail on the whole sitch in favor of sucking down a scotch or ten at the first yuppie bar he stumbles across. Nice.

Naturally, while he’s at the bar, Dean meets and flirts with a likely lass whose name will forever escape me, and before you know it, the two are flying back to her place to Do It. Of course, this night of passion ends up being A Very Bad Thing Indeed for Dashing El Deano because the likely lass is actually an Amazon, there in Seattle with the rest of the women in her tribe on their collective biennial quest to get knocked up. You see, on Supernatural, Amazons head out into the world once every two years to mate, after which their fast-gestating insta-offspring rise up to slaughter their respective sires — after first making sure to hack off the hands and feet of the gentlemen in question for snacks later. I know, I know. Just go with it.

So, within a period of three days, Dean finds himself confronting his irritable and morose teenage daughter, the latter of whom at first plaintively pleads for his help in escaping the wicked Amazonian cult that’s ensnared her before she eventually reveals her true murderous intent, along with a very large knife. Fortunately for Dreary El Deano’s various appendages, Darling Sammy arrives in the nick of time to plug his supposed niece with lead and, after leaving the annoying adolescent’s now-rotting corpse just lying there in the middle of their fetid little motel room, the boys hop into whatever piece of crap they’re driving this week to motor on off towards their next asinine adventure. They can’t seriously be considering another whole season of this bull****, can they?

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