“Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains” sees two of the biggest, baddest Villains square off — and one wussy, wimpy Villain take the easy way out.
Once again, my DVR just randomly cut off the beginning of “Survivor.” I’m going to have to punish it if this happens again. No TV for a week.
I came in at the water polo challenge. Rupert was getting mighty aggressive and Coach … well, Dragon Slayer ≠ Basketball Slayer. Jerri gets knocked on her butt a couple times by Colby, awww. And the Heroes win lickety split. Colby is quite the testosterone-y winner, he’s pumped. And Rupert and Russell’s little slap fight is hilarious.
The Heroes get a rooty-tooty fresh ‘n fruity feast, though Candice goes right for the clue for the Hidden Immunity Idol. JT says they should not let it come between them and they should all go look together. Oh, barf. Can you split it 5 ways too? This Kumbayah crap is kinda gross.
Meanwhile, Russell makes a play for Jerri and Coach at the Villains camp. Jerri says they need Coach to make it work and that she trusts him, as the plinky-plunky strains of Coach’s indecision play. Coach tells Jerri it cuts him deep that she trusts Russell on teh same level as him. My boyfriend comments, “He always acts so butt-hurt over everything. He’s just so needy.”
Jerri sees the writing on the wall, though. She knows that Coach isn’t playing the game in a strong way because he wants to be a Hero so badly, while Russell has embraced his Villainous side and is going full throttle. Amen, sista. I’ve so come around on Jerri in the span of like 30 seconds.
The challenge is three-on-three racing relay-style across a net, then a rope web to retrieve puzzle pieces, then two puzzle-doers. The runners are Colby/Candice/Rupert and Parvati/Coach/Courtney and on the puzzle we have JT/Amanda and Rob/Sandra.
The Villains get a lead but athletic Candice regains some ground when Courtney is kind of a wuss about jumping off the rope web. Jeff goes, “Courtney does not want to jump.” Because her twig legs will snap, Jeff. Duh.
The Heroes have an edge going into the puzzle and they never relinquish. Boston Rob finally loses a puzzle. The Heroes are elated.
I just have to say before anything goes down … this is Russell’s chance to get rid of Boston Rob and this is Boston Rob’s change to get rid of Russell. I can’t wait to see what happens. Though Coach’s point about getting rid of weak Courtney is totally valid. She’s a liability in challenges.
Rob asks Russell who should go and right in front of them, Russell says it should be Courtney or Sandra. They of course are not happy with that and Rob is flabbergasted Russell would just say that to their faces like that. Hey, he’s just being honest! It’s a game, folks, and Courtney is like Olive Oyl out there.
Coach tells Rob they should either blindside Parvati or boot Courtney because she’s so weak. Rob wants to keep her because she’s loyal and he has her vote, which is valid, but he can’t be mad if the tribe wants to boot a weak member so they go into the merge strong. Rob also makes a case to Coach for Russell because he’s shady, so they shake on a deal to vote off Russell.
Coach then runs to Russell and butters him up about how Russell’s a big man for not going after Rob and keeping the tribe strong. Russell then starts to turn over the idea of getting Rob out right now and you can see Coach panicking. Man, he should not have opened is big mouth to butter Russell up.
Coach practically cries in a talking-head about Rob getting ousted. I mean, I like Rob too, Coach, but suck it up, dude! Rob tells Jerri he thinks he’s going and she should do what’s best for her. She falls for that line and starts to feel guilty. Oh, spare me. He’s playing you, Jerri!
Coach babbles something about “at the dawn of every morning, hope springs eternal.” He then points out it’s Rob/Sandra/Courtney and Russell/Parvati/Danielle and Jerri and Coach as floaters. Rob points out that some people are more concerned with keeping alliances strong than keeping the team strong (and he means Russell’s ouster of Tyson to save Parvati). Except Rob this week wants to keep Courtney because she’s in his alliance and wants to boot Russell, who is better in challenges than Courtney. Hello pot? It’s Rob. You’re black.
Coach gets dragged into the fight and kisses their butts by calling them both soldiers who have fight in them. He begs them to keep the tribe strong by not warring with each other. Rob then practically says to Coach with a pointed look, “Vote my way, dude.”
For me, it seems like a no-brainer if you want to keep a numbers advantage on the Heroes that you vote out Olive Oyl Courtney. But Russell and Rob are both too pigheaded, too Alpha male and honestly too much alike to do that.
During the vote Rob votes Russell and that’s all we see. Jerri says she’s made a choice tonight but we don’t see for whom. The votes go Rob, Russell, Rob, Russell, Rob, Russell, Courtney and Rob. Wow.
So Parvati, Russell, Danielle and Jerri voted for Rob? And Coach voted for Courtney? And Rob on his way out calls Coach “a little man.” That will actually hurt Coach’s feelings but he did totally wuss out by voting for Courtney.
Are you sad to see Boston Rob go? I am, I really wish he and Russell could’ve teamed up. That would’ve possibly been the awesomest season ever. But too many Alpha male cooks spoil the broth and all that.
Cirie: J.T. is suspicious, Tom is a triple threat
Randy: Russell and Rob ‘will screw their best friend’
Interview with booted contestant Steph
Sugar: ‘J.T. slept with me pregame and told me we’d stick
Interview with booted contestant Sugar
Photo credit: CBS