Jamesreid2_survivor14_fiji_240Survivor: Fiji just hasn’t hit its stride yet, but things are bound to become exciting eventually, right? Perhaps Thursday (March 29) night’s show will get the adventure going.

Pre-credit sequence. Ravu lost last week and had to vote somebody off. That stinks. In addition, they already have to live in the run-down camp with minimal rations. That stinks, too. Not only that, but that have to put up with the dueling obnoxious behaviors of Dreamz and particularly Rocky. That really stinks. Now, to make things worse, Ravu gets to add Lisi to its tribal mix. They’ve been well and truly Sanjayaed. Alex hopes that Lisi’s time on Exile Island will have made her less, um, confrontational. Lisi returns with the grand announcement that during her time on Exile Island she had a breakdown, but she also reached some sort of self-professed spiritual enlightenment.

An Immunity Idol built for two. Earl leads the rest of the Moto tribe on a phantom mission, giving Yau-Man his second chance at digging up the Immunity Idol. Eureka! He quickly uncovers a carefully wrapped turtle necklace and does several little jigs, before announcing "This is a million dollars right here." There’s something very endearing about the giddy little guy, as he preens and models the Idol noting, "It looks good on me. It really does." But the Idol isn’t his alone and Yau-Man pulls Earl aside and lets him know of his discovery. They’re thick as thieves, even if Yau-Man thinks theirs is a strange alliance. "I would have never thought that a big strong black man would become one of my best allies in this game." They agree that the Idol will be used to protect whoever needs it.

Arcade fire. It’s time for the Reward Challenge. Want to know what they’re playing for? The winning tribe gets to take a private plane to a Fijian arcade (your guess is as good as mine) to bowl and play fooseball or pool, with all of the hot dogs and beer they can eat. I’m a sucker for just about anything involving flamethrowers, so the fire-tossing contest looks like fun, though the level of technical complexity appears low. Led by Dreamz’s precision-throwing, it’s Ravu’s first challenge win of the season. They send Earl off to Exile Island.

Oh, I wish I hadn’t eaten those Oscar Meyer wieners. Like Survivor Kobayashis, the winning Ravuvians devour wieners by the handful and brownies aplenty. They play virtual golf and agree that Lisi’s every bit the man they are. We suspected as much. But in no time, Gorgers Remorse sets in and like Romans of old, Alex and Mookie rush to the vomitorium. Soon, their afternoon of revelry turns to misery, with everybody curled up in balls complaining. The only exception? Rocky. He remembers the feeling of hunger and taunts anybody who claims to be too full. When Edgardo admits that he’d rather feel bloated than starving, Rocky responds, "Well, then suck up the stomach-ache and shut up, then." Edgardo thinks Rocky just doesn’t fit in.

An Idle Yau-Man is the Devil’s Tool. Since they still have plenty of food over at Moto, Boo isn’t worried about starving, but he says that Immunity is big, particularly for Yau-Man, the weakest person in the tribe. But Yau-Man is feeling cocky and bored enough to putter about the camp making up a fake Immunity Idol out of a coconut shell and some yellow paint. He even puts "I.I." on his fake Idol just in case there could be uncertainty. I don’t understand his full strategy here, but I guess this is what happens when Real World Brains meet Island World Stir Crazy.

Blindfolds+Machetes=Immunity fun. It’s a blindfolded obstacle course for Immunity. Each team gets one set of eyes yelping instructions for their sightless teammates (well, their mouths yelp, not their eyes…). Michelle starts off as Moto’s caller and her distinctive style — complete with chirpy constructive hints and suggestive hip-shaking — is an obvious winner. She proves too excitable, though, falling sideways from her platform in what’s sure to be one of my favorite TiVo moments of the week. Michelle recovers to help her tribe solve the final puzzle, giving Moto the win and saving all of Yau-Man’s Immunity Idols.

Rocky vs. Lisi: Whoever Wins, We Lose. Edgardo and Alex have determined that loyalty is more important to them than strength, so Lisi gets to stay and Rocky has to go. Lisi even proves her loyalty by informing Alex that the Immunity Idol is on their island, not Exile Island and enlists Alex in her quest. However, Mookie — the only person left out of the anti-Rocky loop — recognizes that if Rocky goes, he’ll be in an Original Ravu minority. He goes to Dreamz for an ally and is surprised by Dreamz’s willingness to vote against the pack. Dreamz tells the camera that while it seems like they’ve had disagreements, he wants to get to know Rocky better and Lisi less. Will it be a split vote?

Down for the count. The Tribal Council conversation is boring, but will there be a surprise in the results? Nope. Rocky’s voted out. Rocky’s exit speech begins with a primal scream and ends with his conviction that he’ll get revenge when he’s on the jury. My math is a little rusty, but does Rocky get to be on the jury?

Thoughts? Or are you just as bored as I am?

Posted by:Daniel Fienberg