colton survivor one world 'Survivor: One World' reunion: Colton Cumbie gets a shot at redemption and blows itThe “Survivor: One World” reunion special is largely Colton-focused, which is annoying.

The first part of the reunion show is pretty firework-free. Even Leif and Troyzan are not seeming mad that Kim won (they were the two votes for Sabrina). Everyone seems to agree that Kim is a deserving winner. Which is true.

Colton’s Shot at Redemption

But then. Colton time. He owns what he said and he says it made him uncomfortable. And he says he saw himself being a very, very mean person. Jeff presses him whether he’s the racist bigot we saw on the show. His defense is that he would make out with Shemar Moore faster than any woman. Um, that doesn’t make you not a racist dude. Notice how Bill was not laughing at that? Saying any kind of “I have a black friend” type thing does not make you not a racist.

And then Colton cracks that once he left, it got boring. Wrong again, dude. Once you left, the editors were actually able to focus on the game play instead of your ridiculous, backwater shenanigans and attitude. It wasn’t boring at all.

Notice again – Bill doesn’t laugh at that, Leif doesn’t laugh at that. And do you hear Colton apologizing to either of them, who definitely was the worst to? (Bill to his face, Leif behind his back.)

Bill says that Colton did things out of spite and meanness and Colton interrupts him to say, “That’s fair” and you can SEE on Bill’s FACE – “Oh, is it? Thank you for deigning that as ‘fair.'”

Jeff Probst drags Colton’s mom into it. Good lord. And she is obviously really upset and she actually has the good grace to apologize to anyone who he offended. And she does say that she loves him and is proud of him. Well, she seems like a nice lady and good person.

And then – WTF! Mayim Bialik is there as a fan of the show?! And she defends Colton and calls him fabulous, which – shut up, Mayim Bialik. He’s a gross person. He is not entertaining. He is not, as Jeff said, a villain we love to hate. He’s a gross, ugly bully who should not be encouraged this way! Ughhhhh. Just stop.

And then some rando guy gets up and says the same way you hate Russell, you hate Colton. Um, no. And thankfully, the audience chimes in to say no, that’s not right. Russell was a funny little devious dude, but he didn’t say hateful things about people. The way Colton treated Bill on “Survivor” was despicable. DESPICABLE. Colton should be embarrassed. He should be so embarrassed about it he barely wanted to come to the reunion and he should be begging for Bill’s forgiveness, just as a person. Not as a PR stunt or as a way to get back on the show. He should want to be forgiven because of his ugly, ugly attitude.

Can he not put himself in Bill’s shoes? What if some macho a-hole had treated Colton the way he did Bill and made it a thinly-veiled attack on the fact that Colton’s gay? Can he not see how demoralizing and dehumanizing and awful that would have been?

Colton sucks, y’all. And you will never convince me otherwise. He had a shot to come to this reunion and make amends and he has totally blown it.

His half-butt apology is to “people he offended” and people he “hurted.” It’s terrible. Shut up, Colton. If he is back next season for “redemption,” I might vomit.

Moving on…

There’s a nice segment on Tarzan, then they touch on Kat and then Alicia’s “special needs” comment. And she actually gets her apology correct. She seems really regretful and she’s crying and holding Christina’s hand.

Fan Favorite Vote

The FF comes down to Kim, Chelsea, Troyzan and Tarzan. But then it ends up being … Kim! That’s awesome. Way to go, fans. Way to recognize her dominance.

Troyzan gets his camera time and says some people have been coming up to him and saying he’s played the best game they’ve ever seen and comparing him to Richard Hatch and whatnot. Um, what people? ‘Cause there’s no way. He didn’t play a bad game, but honestly – he didn’t play that great of one. He got played by the women, his alliance got taken out and he had to rely on Immunity wins, which he didn’t get. Sorry, no.

He then snots, “I got outplayed and outdummed.” What does that even mean? Wow, sour grapes from Troyzan. No wonder he voted for Sabrina.

Now we take the segment where all the people Jeff hasn’t spoken with yet get a minute on camera. Except Kourtney – huh. How come she didn’t get any camera time?

Next Season

Three medically-evacuated castaways are joining three tribes of new players in the Philippines. Those three castaways are not revealed – do you think one of them will be Colton? Was that why Jeff Probst was feeling out the audience to see if he’s a Russell villain or just a villain-villain?

Honestly, I don’t think Colton deserves another chance. I hope it’s not him, though I would not be surprised if it is. I’m really keeping my fingers crossed for Michael of the Season 2 burns, Jonathan Blue Eyes and Kourtney Moon, who is actually the only woman ever medically evacuated and who I think it kind of sucked for that she broke her wrist on the very first challenge (even if kind of was her own fault for not following directions).

Who do you hope to see?

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."