survivor philippines artis 'Survivor: Philippines': Penner makes a deal, Artis whines and moansWhen we last left “Survivor: Philippines,” Dawson was sent packing and it was surprisingly not for being a Jeff Probst stalker. Let’s see who goes home …. TONIGHT.


Katie and Denise are sure Penner’s got the Hidden Idol and they’re a little nervous because their all-girl alliance is done. They think they’ve gotta make a play to blindside Jonathan. That would be pretty amazing, honestly. Penner is one of the most astute “Survivor” players, you have to get up pretty earlier to pull one over on him.


Apparently Mike has been snacking on the dry rice and the tribe’s supply is pretty depleted. Uh, dude — what is wrong with you? I’m with his tribemates, he’s being really irresponsible with the food. Also, have they not won any food when they’ve been winning challenges? Hmm. And is there nothing else to eat out there?

Reward Challenge

It’s a grappling challenge that reminds us quite a bit of Atlasphere from “American Gladiators.” Tandang has to sit out a man and a woman, so they sit out RC and Artis.

In the first face-off, Lisa makes mincemeat of Denise at first, which is kind of hilarious. You get it, Blair Warner. Also, Jeff is like borderline aroused by how burly and raw this is. Heh. Also, they reach a standstill and it turns into an endurance challenge, which is pretty boring.

So Penner and Skupin start negotiating. Penner has offered up the rest of their rice to Tandang in exchange for the win, which is sandwiches at a dry hut. Penner and Jeff Kent say they can fish and clam and stuff for food. Hmph. Interesting. I mean, it’s not as if the show will literally let anyone starve to death, so maybe it’s worth it to them? Seems like it could be a pretty miserable gamble, though.

The Reward

In addition to food, they get letters from home. Oh, that’s great. Totally worth it, I think. Meanwhile, Artis is really mad about the tribe caving and striking that deal with Penner. On the one hand, yeah, maybe it wasn’t the best deal. On the other hand, first of all — you weren’t out there grappling in the mud for an hour. You don’t know how hard it was. Secondly, you had a chance to speak up and say no way. I truly think if one Tandang member had said, “Absolutely not, I will not agree to this,” Jeff Probst wouldn’t have let it happen. So, shut your pie hole, Artis.

Lisa doesn’t like the feeling of a forfeit, which is a better point. It’s a morale downer. But at least she was out there fighting with Denise.

Meanwhile, RC goes to Mike about Artis complaining about him and Mike finds it rich that he won’t speak up about anything, but he’ll whine and moan behind people’s backs. It’s not like I think Mike is the greatest guy ever, but Artis is being a little ridiculous. He had his chance and didn’t take it.

And back at Kalabaw, Katie and Carter are also whining about the deal they made. Hey, at least you got some protein from that reward and letters from home. And from the looks of it, you had VERY little rice left anyway. So nut up and go dig for giant clams or take up the spear and fish.

Immunity Challenge

This challenge has one person from each tribe launching balls, everybody else catching balls. It doesn’t matter which color, just catch them. First tribe to five wins. Lisa and Denise are the ball-launchers.

Jeff Kent makes some good catches, which — he better. Kalabaw takes a 4-2 lead after six balls, but Tandang comes back when Lisa aims right for Malcolm and he gets two in a row, so it’s 4-4. They finally switch Jeff to guarding Malcolm instead of weak Carter and in the last ball, Malcolm scores and Tandang wins again. Man, that is boring.

Pre Tribal

Does anybody think for a second it’s not Katie going home? Maybe Carter? There’s no way Katie and Denise pull off a Penner blindside. It would also be so stupid at this point — they need to win challenges and Katie and Carter are pretty worthless.

But then it turns out Carter and Jeff want to pull off a Penner blindside too, though Carter thinks they might need Penner at the merge because he’s a huge target.

Then when Carter goes to ask Penner which girl to take out, he mistakenly says, “So Penner, Katie or Penner? I mean, Denise.” So, way to possibly tip your hand. You can’t vote him now, he’ll play the Idol.

But Katie wanders up and Penner immediately blurts out that they’re voting Denise, which gets her suspicions aroused because she hadn’t even brought it up. She starts working on Jeff and Carter to get Penner out.

As they head to Tribal, I’m fairly certain it’s Katie going home. They need Penner not only to try to win another challenge before the merge, but also because Carter’s right — he’s a bigger target at a merge, keeping the heat off himself and Jeff.

Tribal Council

It’s interesting — as Penner says, they are a remarkably drama-free tribe and the vote is going to be a blindside for somebody, because it’s easier to keep someone in the dark than to tell them and have them possibly scramble their way out of going home. I’m still fairly certain it’s Katie, though.

And then it is, by a unanimous vote (except for her own, of course). Sorry, Katie. At this point, you gotta be strong in challenges if you don’t have a rock-solid numbers advantage. One could argue Carter isn’t any better than Katie, but he’s got an alliance with numbers and she doesn’t. Sorry, chica.

Next week: The merge? The show is pretty rich calling that “a twist,” so maybe it’s something different.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."