survivor twins challenge 'Survivor: South Pacific': The Trojan Horse plan is a go
All heck breaks loose on “Survivor: South Pacific” with the Savaii tribe. I can’t wait to see how this plays out.

Redemption Island

It’s Christine vs. Mikayla in a duel of constructing a bridge with planks, then using the planks to solve a puzzle. They are pretty much neck-and-neck going into the puzzle, but Mikayla can’t get her planks right and Christine wins. Wow. Christine is kicking some serious butt on Redemption Island. Good for her.

Upolu

Following Tribal, Coach gets a little mixed metaphor on us by saying about Brandon and his crazypants outbursts that it might get a little like “Of Mice and Men” and something about shooting someone in the head and it’s kill or be killed. Then he does some yoga. That’s the Coach we all know and love.

Coach and Brandon then lead a group prayer about winning the challenge and finding the Idol. Sophie is right on when she says it gives her an “icky feeling” that Coach is praying about finding the Idol when he knows it’s in his pocket. He then acts later like he “found” the Idol after they prayed about it. Brandon is overcome. It’s a “Survivor” miracle! And yes, I would imagine it’s an advantage to have the big guy upstairs on your tribe. But I also don’t think God has chosen Upolu over Savaii, or even that he/she cares about “Survivor.”

Savaii

Ozzy talks to Cochran about sending someone to Redemption that they know can beat Christine so that they keep their numbers. Ozzy then pretty much volunteers to go to Redemption, beat Christine (hopefully) and give Cochran the Hidden Idol for safe-keeping. Wow. That is a ridiculous move. But yeah, it sounds just like something Ozzy would do.

The Challenge

Each tribe was given warrior garb and paint and made to pair up in three pairs of two. The attire and paint then had to be identical – it’s a tie-in to “Jack and Jill,” the trashtastic Adam Sandler movie coming out soon. Good grief.

It’s one of those great challenges with “caller” and blindfolded people. Heh. Remember when caller Michelle fell off her tower? That was so funny (because she was unhurt, of course).

The called are Coach/Rick and Cochran/Jim. The obstacle-runners are Brandon/Edna and Keith/Dawn out first. Brandon adn Edna, being considerably smaller, get a lead for Upolu. Albert/Sophie and Ozzy/Whitney are the other pairs. Savaii gains on Upolu, but in the end Ozzy/Whitney’s last run really slows down and Jeff makes sure to point out that Cochran didn’t hook them into the rope correctly.

Coach starts praying and then Upolu wins. Well, can’t argue with that. God loves Upolu. Not Savaii and particularly not Cochran. After Upolu wins, COach starts screaming “On your knees, on your knees!” and forcing everybody to pray. It’s kind of awful and weird. I have no problem with prayer, but Coach always has to be turned up to 11, doesn’t he?

Meanwhile, Ozzy is having a right little fit about losing, storming around and kicking things. C’mon, dude. You win as a tribe, you lose as a tribe. If Keith and Dawn had been better their first time out, maybe it wouldn’t have been an issue about the rope. Also, Jim didn’t seem like a very good caller. So, let’s just foist this all off onto Cochran’s tiny shoulders.

The Reward

Everybody gives lip-service to how funny the movie is and laughs uproariously for the camera. And Coach makes an allegory to the tribe about family.

Pre-Tribal

Ozzy is being a bully, Cochran is bowing and scraping to him because that’s how Cochran responds to being bullied. It’s pretty gross. Ozzy says, “You lost it for us. I don’t want to say you lost it for us, but it’s a huge error and it cost us the win.” Stop being a word-that-rhymes-with-stick, Ozzy.

The whole tribe them starts to pump Cochran up about how he can go to Redemption and redeem himself and beat Christine. So, I guess it’s a foregone conclusion that Cochran is going home? This is the weirdest thing ever. THey all just jump on board with voting him out and then start getting all crunchy granola about how this is his moment. It’s like – he’s right there, guys. Knock it off.

In the morning, things get even weirder. Ozzy’s dreams told him to be the Trojan Horse now and so he’s revealing the Idol and sacrificing himself to go defeat Christine. Dun dun-nuh NUH! It’s Captain Ozzy, here to save you!

Not everybody’s on board, though. They aren’t sure when the merge is happening and losing Ozzy and keeping Cochran could really hurt them in a team challenge. Seriously, poor Cochran.

Tribal Council

They reveal the Trojan Horse plan to Jeff and Ozzy talks about his dream (hopefully a naked Indian was involved) that told him to do this, plus the added twist that Ozzy is going to tell Christine that Cochran had the Idol and played it, which is how Ozzy got voted out. That’s not bad, though how does that get back to Upolu? Hmm.

During the vote, we only see Cochran vote for Ozzy. Hilariously, before the votes are read, Ozzy fakes Cochran out by saying he’s changed his mind and Cochran can go to Redemption. Have you ever wondered what a grown man soiling himself looks like? That was it.

Ozzy then hands the Idol over to Cochran and the votes are unanimous for Ozzy (except presumably obviously Ozzy’s vote, since you are not allowed to vote for yourself).

Next week: I can’t wait to see how this plays out, y’all. That was a crazy move.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."