How far the stars of “Teen Mom 2” have come since we first met them on “16 and Pregnant.” Or have they? Jenelle is still living at home, mouthing off to her mom, Barbara, and partying with her friends. Both Chelsea and Kailyn are still hooking up and breaking up with their baby daddies. And Leah is still conflicted about her relationship with her twin daughters’ father, Corey.
So what’s new?
Jenelle’s future is finally looking bright. She’s out of rehab, passed her first drug test, enrolled in summer school and is even interviewing for a job at a day care center. And she’s obviously a lock for the job, with answers like: “I’m a very organized person — I have all [my son’s] toys in bins like y’all do.” She even manages to say “I don’t yell — I never yell” with a straight face. (Here’s hoping her prospective employers don’t know how to use the Google machine and have never been to Planet Fun.)
screaming matches disagreements with mom Barbara over her son, Jace, are ongoing, and Babs still has legal custody of the boy. And the older woman has very reasonable expectations when it comes to slapping a diaper on Jace as soon as he’s out of the tub.
“He pees on the rug for God’s sake!” she screeches at Jenelle. “He likes to see himself pee.”
(Please tell us Jenelle and her family don’t share OG “Teen Mom” stars Tyler and Catelynn‘s custom of serving cake on the floor.)
All this shrieking stresses Jenelle out, and she backslides, smoking pot with her “friend.” (We’ll say this for Jenelle, she knows how to pick ’em.)
She knows she “messed up pretty bad” and most likely will go to jail if she fails her next drug test. Too bad she can’t have her fresh-bathed son sub in for her.
Say what you will about Jenelle, but at least she is enrolled in college classes. Chelsea, after devoting the past years to lounging and spray-cleaning tanning beds, has yet to even pass her GED. And with her long hours at Year-Round Brown, she’s exploring the idea of working as a receptionist at a salon. A good move, as she can pick up some contacts and skills when she eventually graduates and enrolls in beauty school.
Meanwhile, she is back with her baby daddy Adam Lind, whose very name causes involuntary groans and eyerolls. They are totally taking it caszh, though, which for Adam means a place to crash and see his daughter until his next hookup. Too harsh? Read your history books, people. Chelsea sure doesn’t seem reassured by her attempts to define the relationship (DTR). Of course this will all change when a promise ring joins the mix, right?
And honestly, we’re hoping Adam and his bitchin’ Bret Michaels bandana stick around. Could he, like Jo Rivera, be exploring a music career? Make it so, “Teen Mom” gods!
At last, “Teen Mom 2” has caught up with Jo’s music video, which is genius and we’ve watched at least a thousand times since it first debuted in April 2011. Jo’s talent is off the hook, yo, and it’s unfair of Kailyn to expect a monogamous relationship from such a playah.
And it turns out that Jo, whose professional name is NICK B, is having sleepovers with the star of his music video, whose name is either V or Hood Rat, depending on whom you ask. Kailyn isn’t jealous, she just doesn’t want the next VMA star “playing mom” with their son, Isaac. So Jo agrees to drop by and DTR.
“I don’t have time for a girlfriend,” Jo purrs, before pointing out: “I think we’re doing such a good job co-parenting, we took a step to the left. I think we both agree that was a mistake.”
And for those who missed the Season 2 reunion show, that mistake has a name: chlamydia!
Knowing that Leah is now remarried and expecting another baby with her second husband, Jeremy Calvert, it’s difficult — and kinda dull — to see her reliving her divorce from baby daddy Corey Simms. Today the couple put aside all the lah-yer drama to take their daughter, Ali, who suffers from a developmental disorder, to an important doctor’s appointment. After X-raying the toddler’s hips, the doctor reassured that Ali’s “just growing at her own rate” and has plenty of time to catch up to her more quickly progressing twin sister, Aleeah. Whew.
It’s a shame Ali’s parents can’t celebrate the good news together. But as much as we love Corey, we’re hoping the lah-yers finalize this divorce soon so we can finally meet Jeremy. The curiosity is killing us!