I hate to say this, but I was stunned by the lack of intelligence that abounded tonight on “The Amazing Race.” Deciphering an easy clue flummoxed one team. Basic algebra flummoxed others. And finally, a waterslide rattled one contestant so badly that it cost that team the race.
This was a no travel week, instead the teams started off by heading to a yacht club with a briefcase. That’s where they hit the Roadblock which involved rowing to a yacht and meeting a sheik whose gift of a stopped watch gave them the code to unlock their briefcase.
Everything seemed to go so well for everyone at the start of the race, except for my team, the Globetrotters. Their cabbie took them to the wrong yacht club, then Big Easy had some big issues with paddling the rowboat, then he couldn’t figure out that the time on the broken watch was the combo for the briefcase.
Seriously Big Easy? Everyone but you was able to work that out and teams passed you as you stood there like a fool. I’d have to put them on my list except that they were able to figure out the gold weighing (see below for more on that).
Meghan & Cheyne cruised through everything tonight. They opted to build hookahs instead of weighing out gold during the Detour, and had no problems at all as they easily came in first for the leg.
I don’t think I would have opted for the hookahs, but perhaps math isn’t Meghan & Cheyne’s strong suit. Ericka & Brian chose to weigh the gold (which had to be calculated as a dollar amount based on an ever slightly changing value per ounce), but were completely unable to work out how much gold equaled how much money. Ratios, people! Ratios!
Ericka & Brian actually left the task because they couldn’t cross multiply and divide. Sam & Dan had a calculator, but still couldn’t work it out. If anyone ever needed proof that our public school systems have completely failed, they only need have watched the racers on this task.
It’s not like they were asking for the integral of x-squared. And, don’t tell me that the problem was that the price of gold kept changing, neither Sam & Dan (until the poker players showed) nor Ericka & Brian could get to the point where that even mattered.
Moving on from that, last week we learned that Mika is afraid of heights and a few weeks before that, we learned that Mika is afraid of water. That made the huge waterslide the teams had to go on to get the location of the Pitstop doubly fun for her!
What was Mika thinking going on this show? Did she decide that FOX’s “Nashville” failed to make her a superstar so she’d go on the “Race” and end up becoming famous for being terrified of things she ought to have known she’d have to do before she even started the race?
Mika & Canaan had a massive fight at the top of the slide when she refused to go. I would have tossed her down if I were Canaan and he thought about it, but only tried it half-heartedly. If he’d wanted to get her down that slide by force, he could have, and he probably should have taken that route. The Globetrotters actually caught up to Mika & Canaan at the top of the slide and did their best to help psych out the ‘fraidy cat. Mika still refused to go, The Globetrotters took their spot, and then Canaan ended up going down the slide without her. She still didn’t go and she and Canaan were eliminated.
Mika actually cost her team the race because she wouldn’t go down a waterslide. Canaan claimed in the post-race interview that he didn’t hold it against her. Seriously, how is that possible? Anyone keeps me from a million dollars for not wanting to do a task on a reality show is someone I can never forgive. Ever.
Odds and ends:
Please tell me you’re as disappointed as I am about the math.
Please tell me you’re as disappointed as I am about the briefcase.
Please tell me you’re as disappointed as I am about the waterslide.
The TV and Film Guy’s Reviews – one-third x-cubed plus “c.”
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