celebrity apprentice donald trump 'The Apprentice' recap: Jingle HellPreviously: It was Clay v. Aubrey, Round 2, and this time Aubrey got to smile her scary Joker smile in victory while continuing to insist that she’s the only person on her team worth existing. Also, Dayana’s ability to alienate all persons who are not sexually attracted to her began to work its magic on Clay. And Penn’s smug slogan for Trump’s smug cologne was deemed too smug, to which Penn merely shrugged smugly and smugged shrugly. And while Trump has now decided he wants to fire Dayana for being brought back to the boardroom every single episode, including retroactively in previous seasons, even the non-celebrity ones, he was forced by fairness or something to fire Penn.

Post-Pinkslip Aftermath:
Before the survivors return, Aubrey not only jumps up and down about her own win, but takes credit for everybody else’s wins as well. “Whether you like me or hate me,” she squeaks to the camera, “I’m the only reason we ever have had a creative on this team.” INDEED, Aubrey, and after a season-long effort, thanks for finally draining the last bits of meaning from the word “creative.”

Meanwhile, guess how Lisa feels about Dayana returning instead of Penn? Just guess! They all expect Penn to go home, so it’s no surprise when Clay and Dayana return. Aubrey unleashes the most insincere “Claaaaaaaay! Dayanaaaaaaa!” at them as they return. Clay ultimately interviews that he can’t be too sad a stronger player got fired, even if he’d have kept Penn over Dayana. Meanwhile, Dayana thinks she’ll have to watch her back, alone on the team with Clay and Lisa.

After the credits (I find myself mesmerized anew by Debbie Gibson’s fierce water-spin), Aubrey delivers her Trump Bucks to GLSEN, an organization dedicated to stopping anti-gay bullying. So of course Aubrey makes sure everybody knows how she was “constantly bullied,” because of course nobody has it worse than perky little fame monsters. I’m pretty sure this period of “bullying” she’s talking about was her time in Danity Kane. I digress.

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