jake pavelka vienna girardi 'The Bachelor: After the Final Rose': Jake and Vienna are engaged, still together“Bachelor” couple Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi are still going strong.

But before we can check in with Jake and Vienna, we have to see how Tenley is doing.

The “After the Final Rose” show kicks off with a video recap of her getting her heart broken by Jake on the final episode. Oh, Tenley. She tells Chris Harrison she’s ready to see Jake. We now find out during the commercials that Jake is the newest “Dancing with the Stars” contestant. Interesting. I thought for sure it would be Tenley. Bummer.

Anyway, back on the show Jake comes out onstage and he and Tenley very genuinely hug each other. That’s nice to see. He assures Tenley that he’s happy and she asks about what was missing for them. He says there was (and is) nothing wrong with Tenley. He just says the magical spark wasn’t there. That’s tough. He calls it an unexplainable thing and that’s really true. It’s an intangible. Tenley then asks if it was unfair to Vienna that he was so attached to her yet going to make a big move forward with Vienna?

Jake says it was just that magical spark that he has with Vienna and doesn’t have with Tenley. He says Tenley is very precious and he’ll always love her. So it’s more like a BFF thing with them, which I get. Aw, I want Tenley and Ali to be joint Bachelorettes!

Jake then is one-on-one with Chris and he cals Vienna his “baby” and says they have so much heat. You know, it’s been my experiences that eventually heat fades and there has to be something more there. But perhaps Vienna got a crappy edit by the show. Hmmm.

I am then distracted for a second and Chris and Jake then start talking about the “Mesnick” scale and I get confused. You look away from the East Coast feed for five seconds… Man, that sounded really funny. Bah. Stupid slingbox.

Chris and Jake then talk up his choice of Vienna and what a maverick Jake was as the Bachelor. That’s why he played the young Chuck Norris twice, y’all. Jake is a renegade.

They finally bring Vienna out and they hug and show off her ring. Vienna can’t wait to just go out to dinner together. They talk about being nervous leading up to the final episode, but then finally get into the media’s treatment of Vienna. I’m sure there’s stuff that’s fabricated, but on the other hand … that topless calendar photo is totally Vienna. The way the show edited her made her look like kind of a b**** and that’s not the outside media, that’s “The Bachelor” and ABC.

The couple now tells Chris that Vienna is moving to Dallas immediately. Wow. Maybe this is for real! Good for them, I suppose. The “Bachelor” is sending them back to St. Lucia for a trip together and then they bust out Jeffrey Osbourne with “On the Wings of Love.” OH MY GOD, THAT’S AWESOME. Jake and Vienna dance, awww.

I immediately nominate the next three seasons to be subtitled “Up Where We Belong,” “Against All Odds” and “Hungry Eyes.”

Now we get to the big announcement. The wait is over! It’s Ali Fedotowsky! Is anybody surprised? We really aren’t here at Zap2it, she’s been such a popular contestant this season. I’m a little bummed there’s no consolation prize for Tenley. She’s not on “Dancing with the Stars,” she’s not the next Bachelorette. That’s a bummer.

But I’m pumped to start recapping Ali’s season, probably sometime in June. Tune in here for all the tears, heartache and snarkiness!

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Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."