Our picks for the Crazies of “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” — Kirsten, Channy and Michelle.
Every season of “The Bachelor” has ’em — the crazy-eyed lunatics that you wonder if producers were forcing the Bachelor to keep around for ratings. We’ve previewed the first episode of Jake Pavelka’s turn as “The Bachelor” and these are the ones to watch out for (and possibly frisk).
Kirsten, 25, waitress, Aurora, CO
Kirsten was an easy first pick for one of the Crazies because she mentioned violence like three times within her first three minutes of screen time. Not only does she tell Jake that she wanted to slap Jillian for letting him go, she talking-heads that she’ll do whatever it takes to win — even “cut a bitch.”
That, coupled with the fact that Kirsten is a little on the drag queen-y side, makes us scared of her. We mean… look at that picture! She’s like a well-made-up version of The Gentlemen from “Buffy.” Nightmare fuel.
Channy, 29, mortgage loan office, Santa Rosa, CA
Channy is Cambodian and we applaud the tiny little diversifying in casting, since you generally don’t see many races other than Caucasian on “The Bachelor” franchise. When Channy first meets Jake, she says something to him in Cambodian and tells him he has to talk to her later to find out what it means. Totally cute gimmick, right?
Except when Jake does find her and asks her what she said to him in Cambodian, she says, “You can land your plane on my landing strip anytime!” Ummm… yikes.
Michelle, 26, office manager, Anaheim, CA
Michelle is a very special girl. She reminds us a bit of Shannon from Jason Mesnick’s season — remember her, the crier who threw up? Michelle is very intense right out of the gate, telling Jake that she’s ready for a husband and kids and has “so much to give emotionally.”
Ed and Jillian get the crazy vibe from Michelle too, as they try to find a nice way to tell Jake that she’s boil-your-bunny nutso and he should send her home.
We don’t actually know if any of these women received roses or not that first night, but we certainly hope they did. What would a show like this be without a little crazy? Particularly if the crazy leads to some hot lesbian action. That’d be a “Bachelor” first.
Tomorrow: The Desperate Bachelorettes
Photo credit: ABC