Previously on The Bachelor… Jason got hot n' heavy with Jillian, Melissa and Molly in New Zealand and then he sent sweet, awesome Jillian packing. Tonight, instead of a finale, we get Jason's "candid" thoughts, never-before-seen clips, dishing with the rejected bachelorettes and couples from seasons past.
First we have Chris and Jason one-on-one. Megan the Nutjob and Shannon the Snotty Kisser are the first topics of conversation. Jason tries to be PC and talk about how nice they are. It's okay, Jason. Tell us how you really feel. They're crazy.
We then relive Stephanie's daughter's visit (cute and heart-tugging), the trip to the Addams Family Naomi's house (creepy and weird), Jason's hottub romp with Jillian (nearly x-rated), and Molly's walk of shame (probably not as bad as the editing would have us think).
There are some "bloopers" next. And I say "bloopers" because they are neither funny nor particularly crazy. In the "blooper" from Seattle where Ty won't go to bed, Jason makes the comment that "there are times when they are real people." My viewing partner and friend Alyssa says, "And there are times when I just use them as slaves." These "bloopers" are just… unfunny and painful.
There is now a Trista and Ryan retrospective. They met on the show, they got married on TV and they have a kid. Good for them. Ryan is a firefighter for the Vail, Colorado FD and they have an 18 month-old named Max. Trista is also pregnant with a little girl and, by the looks of it, is due any day now. By the way, Trista looks SOOOO much better with brown hair.
Back in the studio, Chris introduces Charlie and Sarah, a couple from a few years ago. They broke up after the show, but got back together a year ago. Sarah cites his alcohol abuse as part of the problem, but he says he's been sober for two years. Well, good for him. I mean that in all sincerity, but I'm so boredzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
There is now a clip show of a get-together of rejected guys from Deanna's Season and girls from Matt's season at some kind of lodge. The word "threesome" is tossed around, as is "incestuous." Oh dear. Holly from Matt's season is apparently now with Jesse, Deanna's reject. Awesome. Noelle from Matt's season is now dating Fred from Deanna's season. This is just… like a Real World/Road Rules challenge. Apparently if you go on a reality TV show, you get to go to all these reunion gatherings. It's like high school.
We're back in the studio with the rejected Bachelorettes. Shannon is still a loony, Stephanie is still gracious (though she does has some ridiculous hair), and then we get a clip show of the girls being territorial and catty. The girls in the studio launch into on-camera sniping and fighting. Natalie and Erika are particularly vocal. I'm surprised Shannon doesn't need to leave the room and throw up.
Natalie's segment is next. We get to see Natalie go all classy and bleep-filled in the limo and then Megan and Nikki take a turn laying into her. Let's just put the three of them in a blow-up pool and make them wrestle in baked beans. I had to do that once at summer camp. It's gross and it never comes out of your swimsuit, no matter how many times you wash it.
Jillian gets her turn on the hot seat next. She's so great, I love her. I think the next Bachelorette should be either Stephanie or Jillian. I don't want to see either Molly or Melissa as the next Bachelorette, frankly. Jillian is emotional while reliving her rejection in New Zealand. She's a total sweetheart and she's searching for her best friend. I've said since my junior year of high school that your husband should be your best friend who you also want to sleep with. I just found mine. You'll find yours, Jillian.
Jason comes back to "face the women." Jillian and Naomi are sweet to him, but then he has a nice moment with Stephanie saying that they will be friends forever and that he respects her so much. She really is a great lady.
Blooper Reel. Naomi smells, Jillian has to pee, Molly/Melissa/Jillian bath time, Melissa gets chased by a bee, Molly goes Mary Poppins, Jillian's top falls down, Jason's horse goes nuts, and the bathtub farts. Oh, the hilarity!
There is now a Melissa and Molly Retrospective. It boils down to both girls are pretty and both are ready for marriage and both Jason likes them both a whole lot. WHO WILL HE CHOOSE?!?!
On the finale, Jason brings Ty to New Zealand to meet Melissa and Molly and they both get to meet Jason's parents and brothers. Both girls are in love with him. WHO WILL HE CHOOSE?!?!