we have hometown visits and the return of Jake and Ed. Woo hoo!

Reid, Philadelphia
Reid is up first. His parents have a beautiful house in a Philly suburb. Reid has Rhonda, Larry, Brett and Chad (parents and two brothers). They immediately start talking about the family realty business and Jillian’s design background.

Rhonda takes Jillian off for some one-on-one time. Jill asks Rhonda if she’s Reid’s type and Rhoda says, “I think you’re adorable.” Heh heh. Wway to skirt that question, mom. The brothers talk to her about committment and how Reid hasn’t met the right person yet.

Reid talks to his dad about Jillian. Larry advises him that if he thinks Jillian is right for him, he has to dive in head over heels. Awww, dad! So cute. Suddenly the grandma and the sisters-in-law join them for an impromtu 30th birthday party for Reid. Jillian kisses him after he blows out the candles and everybody looks very surprised. One sister-in-law even comments about how unusual it is to see him be affectionate with someone in front of them. Well, that’s a good sign.

Michael, New York
Michael has a twin brother named Steve, and there are Lynn and Frank, the parents. Michael says his brother is “spot-on identical.” It makes me wonder how he defines “identical” because they are NOT identical, I can tell the difference immediately.

The twins head upstairs to switch places so Michael can find out how Jillian really feels, masquerading as Steve.. [eye roll] I’m pretty sure that’s the plot of a Sweet Valley High book. They can’t fool Jillian, though. Steve does get her alone, though, and asks about if his age is a factor and she says that it is. Steve reassures her that Michael has always wanted to get married younger.

At dinner, they do “Question for the Table,” which is a cute family tradition that I might steal later in life. They start off with describing themselves, but then Michael’s sister Jenna (whom he thought was in Australia) surprises them. After dinner, they dance in the living room. Every family member can cut quite the rug, it’s really, really cute. I just don’t think anybody can be cuter than the Staglianos.

Kiptyn, San Diego
Jillian meets Kiptyn’s mom and step-dad Eve and Earl and sister Davia and brother Bryce and his girlfriend Nancy. It looks like the Kiptyns live in a veritable mansion, it’s nifty. They also play a little joke on Jillian by roping off the hot tub. She then has a test where she has to pick the best lasagne and red wine. She passes the test. Phew.

His family is obviously well educated, speaks several languages and whatnot, which is kind of funny because his mom looks like she could possibly live in a trailer park and his sister is a grown-up Wednesday Addams. I tease, though, because they seem great.

Eve gets Jillian alone and asks her what she would change about herself and is pretty intense about it but they seem to get along pretty well. Meanwhile, sister Davia grills Kiptyn about whether he’d ask Jillian to marry him. He says he doesn’t know yet, but it could happen. They take some hot tub time later and his mom spies out the window on them. Heh heh.

Jesse, Carmel Valley
They start out at his family winery, which is awesome. He’d win just because of that for me. They immediately get into a serious conversation about how they’ve spent their time and how they are getting along. They head to the house and she meets Betty the mom and Jake the brother and I missed the dad’s name, sorry. Jake looks like a mountain man and is a bit of a cynic about love and girls.

His first question for Jesse is “Do you love this chick?” Geez. Jillian is alone with Betty the mom and they talk about Jesse’s standofishness. They seem to get along fine. The brother asks her if they’ve been naked together yet. Geez. He’s kind of a douche.

After dinner they jam on all their instruments, that’s pretty awesome. In the end, the brother is won over. He just rubbed me the wrong way at first. They take some alone time and smooch (Jesse and Jillian, not Jillian and the brother). It seemed to go okay but I didn’t get as good a vibe as I did with some of the other families.

Wes, Austin
Wes immediately takes Jillian to meet his band. Gross. They perform a song that really isn’t that good. Wes isn’t as good a singer as he thinks he is. Also, Jillian is talking about how great it was to have him sing to her. I really hate how this show is also editing her to look like a complete fool. Wes then does his stupid “love don’t come easy” song again. This is disgusting.

Jake lands in Austin. Sweet. He calls Tanner to find out if he’s doing the right thing by busting Wes to Jillian.

Wes and Jillian get into a pretty serious conversation about his band and how it’s taking off. He’s basically doing this so he can preemptively make her think that it might not work out. He says if there weren’t feelings, he wouldn’t be there and that he’s not a good liar. LIAR. How can she even be attracted to him in the first place? He’s gross and scuzzy and can’t accept the fact that he’s 36 years old.

At the hotel, Jake surprises Jillian. I wonder how much of a surprise it actually is. You never know with this show. He launches into telling her about Wes. She guesses that it’s about Wes’s career but Jake also tells her that Wes has a girlfriend. Jake even knows her name (Laurel) and says they’ve talked about her more than three times. My first reaction (other than hating Wes, which I already did) is disbelief that Jake has those kinds of details and it took him this long to tell her. It has to be something the producers pressured him to do because any decent guy would’ve told her as soon as he knew.

Jake tells her that Wes is going to lie and say Laurel is a girlfriend from the past. Jillian is crying and Jake looks just sick. Jillian sits down with Wes for a drink before they go to meet his family. I really want her to just go, “So who’s Laurel?” but she does not. She tells him that Jake ratted him out and his reaction is, “That’s… crazy.” He then backpeddles around what he told Jake and how he’s still friends with Laurel and all this crap. It sounds like complete lies.

She says she feels that Wes is distant and that it felt weird. Wes says that until she has some proof and not just some guy’s word who just got kicked off, then there’s nothing to be done. He says he’s not there to play games and that he’s being as honest as he possibly can. Gross.

How can Jillian be such a total idiot about this guy? She asks Wes if he wants to clear things up with Jake, which I have to think is another producer-induced thing. Jake comes down to confront Wes and talking-heads that he’s going to be Jillian’s protector. He’s gotta be the next Bachelor, y’all. They make him look like a White Knight.

Jake very level-headedly explains to Wes about Laurel and Wes just says things like, “What are you talking about?” Wes takes some pot-shots at Jake about religion and Jillian just looks sick. She and Jake hug out in the hall and she leaves him. The camera focuses on Jake as he cries outside his hotel room and then cries in an interview. They could not make him look any better unless he was healing blind children with his tears.

Jillian goes back in to Wes (kick him off,
kick him off) and he says he doesn’t want to drag it out if it’s not actually going to come to something and he doesn’t want to put her through anything else. Jillian cries as she tells him that she’s there for the real deal stuff and she tells him that if he’s the guy at the end, he has to be that guy at the end. He keeps clearing his throat, he’s such a liar. He then starts slathering on the compliments about her and they go off to meet his family. I hate this so much.

At the house, they meet his step-mom Renee, his mom Jill and his three sisters. Jillian tells them all about what just happened. His family is, of course, all, “That’s ridiculous, he’s just jealous.” His mom takes Jillian aside and says that Wes would’ve left already if he had someone at home. Oh really? Unless he was trying to get publicity for his damn band. Jillian thinks she has now seen where he comes from and my boyfriend says, “She’s just seen where he learned how to lie.”

Jillian thinks the family verified for her that Wes does not have a girlfriend. Really? How did they do that? What kind of proof do you have? I just have this sinking feeling that Jillian is going to come out looking like such an idiot (moreso than she already does) when this is all said and done.

Wes then interviews that Jake is a “back-stabbing piece of s*&%.” Classy.

Back in Los Angeles
Jillian says that at this point she cannot handle anymore surprises… and that’s when there’s a knock on the door. It’s Ed. Oh boy! She asks him why he’s there and de talks about what a huge mistake he made and begs to be allowed back. Jillian says that he honestly missed a lot of stuff while he was gone but does tell him to come to the Rose Ceremony that night. This means she has to let 2 of the 6 go tonight, instead of 1 of the 5.

Rose Ceremony
Jillian tells Chris that Ed coming back is “bananas.” This show is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. She is unsure about not meeting his family. I think the roses should go to Kiptyn, Jesse, Reid and Ed. The Staglianos were the cutest family that ever cuted but I still don’t think he’s right for her. And you all know how I feel about Wes.

She tells Chris that she’d rather follow her heart and be wrong and get burnt than follow what somebody else tells her and be wrong and hurt someone else. I hate Wes, but that’s a really interesting way to look at it and it makes me like Jillian a lot.

Chris welcomes the guys to the Rose Ceremony and then springs the Ed surprise on them. Reid is in disbelief, but looks genuinely happy. The rest look like they’ve swallowed their tongues. Jillian joins them and we get started.

She gives roses to Reid, Kiptyn, Ed (yay!) and Wes. I actually exclaim some profanity out loud and my boyfriend calls Jillian a moron. I’m not too upset about Michael, I hope they stay friends, but that’s really all I saw with her. And all be honest, If I had to lose one of Reid, Kiptyn, Ed and Jesse, it would’ve been Jesse. I didn’t see her click with his family the same way as I did with the others.

I wish I knew how much producer-induced crap we have regarding Wes, but honestly? The way Jillian cries about him… it may not be that manufactured. Michael is more broken up than Jesse and I feel bad for him, he’s such a sweetie. That really stinks for him.

Next week… bievenidos a Espana!

The outtakes are Jillian jamming with Kiptyn’s family singing the “Bachelorette Blues.” Hilarious.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."