Michaelmorelli_biggestlosercouples_240It was a tough night on “The Biggest Loser: Couples“. Yeah, we got makeovers, but even that couldn’t make up for a heartbreaking reversal of fortune for a competitor who had really been growing on me. They eliminated the right person for the right reasons, but that didn’t make it any easier to take.

High-wire act
It’s the Fear of Heights challenge! The Losers have to shuffle across a wire suspended above a canyon, with a guide wire to hold onto. We get the obligatory “Height, SCARY!” comments (this year’s height-haters are Kristin and Mike), and the obligatory half-assed effort from Ron. Feh.

Filipe wants to win this for Sione, and he makes a damn good go at it. Tara seems to knock herself out of the running when she slips off the wire (everyone is wearing a safety harness, so no one goes splat) and loses about a minute struggling back upright. But once she does, she’s… well, she’s Tara — she glides across the wire and beats Filipe in the last 20 feet. Filipe jumps off the wire and dangles when he sees Tara win. There’s no need to pout!

Makeovers!

  • Helen got softer hair, softer makeup, and a great purple sleeveless sheath dress. It had some horizontal detailing, but it was subtle and made her curves look great. She looks classy, like she could be hosting a swell cocktail party.
  • Tara also got big, soft waves, and her hair looks amazing. She’s wearing a fabulous green sleeveless cocktail dress with a v-neckline and a skirt that may be shorter than necessary. The horizontal pleats across the midsection aren’t what I’d have chosen.
  • Laura gets adorable chin-length red hair. She’s got a pink tiered cocktail dress with cap sleeves and she looks good… but she’s look better if those damn horizontal lines weren’t encircling her body.
  • Kristin has glossy dark hair, and she’s gotten rid of those horrible blonde streaks. She’s wearing a black shirtdress with a cinched waist — very 50’s Grace Kelly. She’s the only woman wearing long sleeves. She’s also the only woman who avoided the scourge of horizontal lines.
  • Both Mike and Ron clean up well with good suits. Mike’s got a blue sweater on under his jacket, and Ron got rid of his beard.
  • Filipe took the most sartorial risks of the men — he’s wearing a burgundy velvet blazer, and he wears it well. It helps that he’s had few inches of circumference lopped off his hair.

Bad news
Laura has a stress fracture in her hip. She’s facing excruciating pain every time she puts pressure on it. Dr. H tells her that if she wants to avoid a really bad injury that would necessitate surgery, she can’t run for at least 3 months. Anything that causes pain is right out.

The weigh-in
Helen has a spectacular week, losing 7 pounds, or more than 4 percent of her weight. Holy crap! Tara posts a respectable 4-pound loss, and Mike drops 5 pounds. He’s broken Roger’s record for the most weight lost on campus.

Filipe also drops 5 pounds, meaning his weight-loss percentage only narrowly edges out that of Ron, who dropped 6 pounds. Kristin lost “only” 2 pounds. Laura couldn’t work out — heck, Mike and Sione had to carry her up to the scale! — and gained 3 pounds.

The elimination
Allison tells the Losers they have a tough decision to make. Not really — when you have to be carried up to the scale, you pretty much have to go home. Laura admits that she’s probably in denial, but she wants to stay. Kristin begs everyone to keep her even though she may be perceived as a threat.

Tara makes a pitch for Laura to stay — she’s been doing so well! she deserves to be here! — and Ron snaps that it isn’t about who deserves to be here or not anymore. Oh, really? Convenient that he’s taking that line now… but yeah, he’s right, the risk of injury is too great for Laura. She can’t do the work. Of course, neither can Ron, and he’s still here….

Tara and Helen both vote for Kristin, but the others vote for Laura. The Biggest Loser provides her with doctors and physical therapists to help her recovery. She has maintained her weight loss, her hip is getting better and she looks great. Congrats, Laura!

Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends:

  • Tara wins a $25,000 kitchen makeover and a years supply or product placed poultry. What if she’s a renter? Who gets the kitchen makeover then? Her landlord?
  • Will Tim Gunn still be the makeover maven when Project Runway moves from NBC-affiliated Bravo to Lifetime?
  • What was with all the shutter pleats and tiered dresses? Why those strong horizontal lines? I know they’re popular right now, but I’m not sure they were the right choice for all the ladies.
  • Filipe has a plan: “If they shave my head for the makeover, I won’t have to work out for the rest of the week. That’s 3 to 5 ponds of hair right there!”
  • Mike’s brother Max is there for the makeover unveiling, and he’s both proud and devastated. Poor kid — I REALLY wish they hadn’t trotted him out for the cameras so we could see him cry and shrivel up inside.
  • Ron suggests that Tara is trying to keep Laura so she preserves a vote for herself. Ron, you’re an ass — I find it much more likely that Tara is in just as much denial as Laura is, and she just thinks it’s not fair that Laura could get sent home for something that is beyond her control.
Posted by:Sarah Jersild