Every season on this show, there’s a point where a competitor has chance to trade in a ridiculous amount of money for a one-pound credit. We’ve reached that moment on “The Biggest Loser: Couples.” So what happens?
We get the standard wah, my partner is gone, woe is me, alas alack, where shall I go what shall I do speech, and I have to channel Rhett — frankly, my dear Tara, I don’t give a damn. She’s horrified that Jillian told Mike to vote Laura home, but seriously, the woman couldn’t walk and she would have hurt herself. It was the right call. I could do without Jillian’s ranting justification, though.
The Losers test their knowledge of food and nutrition. The winner will get a trip to New York (yay!) and a tour of the Good Housekeeping labs (yay?). We learn that:
- Some manufacturers play SERIOUSLY fast and loose with their labeling
- Ron is the only person in American who doesn’t know that olive oil is heart healthy
- Ground turkey breast is lower fat than lean ground turkey — and everything else
- People who wear pedometers tend to take 2000 more steps a day than non-pedometer-wearers.
Mike and Kristin tie for first, so there’s a last question: how many calories in a fast-food fried-fish sandwich with tartar sauce? Kristin guesses 435, and Mike guesses 635. It’s 640 — Mike wins. Kristin is PISSED.
The Losers are shuffled into what look like some sort of medieval torture cages, which are suspended 45 feet above the ground. They have to hold up their own weight. The last one standing — er, dangling — wins $10,000 or a 1-pound pass.
All the guys, who presumably have superior upper-body strength, drop out first. Mike can’t take handle the height, and Ron loses focus and the rope slips. Filipe is being an ass, yelling and bouncing the cages, and he eventually pranks himself out of the running. Kristin hangs on for as long as she can — about an hour — but she’s out, leaving Tara and Helen. Helen starts losing it, and tells Tara that she’ll split the money with her if she lets go. This worked last season, when Michelle promised to buy Renee a designer handbag, but Tara will not be bribed. Tara wins!
Since time immemorial, Losers have chosen weight forgiveness over money. Not Tara — she takes the $10,000. Jillian momentarily looks like she’s ready to kill Tara, but she rallies — ok, Tara is betting on herself, and that’s a good thing. We’ll see…
Tara is first up, and she loses 5 pounds. Wow. So, she dodged a bullet — she gets the money, and unless everyone else is stellar, she stays on the ranch. Mike and Ron both have good weeks — Mike drops 8 (!!!!) pounds, and Ron drops 4 pounds. This means Ron is out of the 300s for the first time in at least 30 years. Look, I don’t like Ron, but I have to give him credit — good job, Ron.
Filipe, Helen and Kristin have a rockier time. Filipe loses 3 pounds, which puts him in danger. But wait — Helen drops “just” 1 pound, and she’s horrified. Kristin gains a pound, and she’s ready to flip out.
At the beg-for-your-life session, both women sob and say they’re not ready to go, and then Kristin asks to talk to Ron alone. You promised you’d never write my name down — will you keep your word? Of course! Ron smarms. OK, what about Mike? Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it, Ron says — I’ll talk to him. And he does — and whispers to Mike that Kristin is the biggest threat and he should vote for her. What’s more, he should coordinate with Tara to make sure SHE votes for Kristin. Um, Ron? The subtitles tell us what you’re doing.
At the vote, it comes down to Mike — and he votes for Kristin. Ron contrives to look surprised, but he’s not fooling anyone. Kristin snipes that Mike is taking the easy way out by voting off his strongest competition, and she’s disappointed in him and Ron. Kristin? That’s the game. It’s not about you.
She looks great at her look-at-me-now interview, and has dropped 132 pounds. Go, Kristin!
Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends
- That labeling bit was bizarre. In what world does a 7-1/2-inch pizza equal eight servings? I mean, granted, I tend to think that the serving size of a carton of Ben & Jerry’s should be a pint, but NO ONE can call a sliver of pizza a full serving!
- I’m also confused by the pedometer answer. How do they know? The people not wearing pedometers aren’t counting their steps!
- Kristin worries that once she admits she wants something, it will be taken away. Don’t think like that! Bob says. Say you want this! Perhaps that wasn’t the best advice…
- The Ron/Mike confrontation is a total cheat — it’s hardly a confrontation at all. I was hoping Mike would share my Ron rage!
- Bob has his trainees keep a video food diary — and is horrified that they’re eating so little. You need to consume calories to fuel your body! I would have been a lot happier with that segment if it didn’t devolve into a way to pimp protein powder.
- Look, show, if you REALLY want to pimp something, make it a decent sports bra. Watching Kristin sprint was PAINFUL. Every woman watching was clutching her chest at that point…
- Mike and Ron keep saying that Kristin is Mike’s only competition. Um, hello? Remember Tara? Hasn’t lost a challenge, has never been below the yellow line, regularly kicks ass? She’s the one to beat!