Last week, Amy shocked her team — and delighted the viewing audiences — by voting Brady off The Biggest Loser: Families. Will we experience similar joy this week? I won’t tell you that yet, but I will tell you that depending on your age and fashion sense, you’ll experience nausea, confusion and/or deep, abiding shame as you watch the competitors and trainers dress up for 80s week.
This spoiler really did own leg warmers, neon clothing, mesh gloves, acid-washed jeans, etc. The shame!
After last week’s vote, Vicky reevaluates her position on the game (and life in general) and decides to become a kinder, gentler person. Oh, who am I kidding — Vicky is spitting venom that anyone would defy her or mess up her plans, and the phrase "backstabbing bitch" is bandied about with almost maddening frequency. Amy is likened to the serpent in the Garden of Eden, and Vicky rails about how Amy must be an idiot to vote against her. Or… Amy can do math. Whichever.
Vicky is bent on revenge. We know this because she tapes a sign up to her door that says "REVENGE." "Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you. I will not rest until that lying BITCH is out of this house." But how do you really feel?
Bob is appalled that Amy voted one of her team members out, which makes me want to drop-kick Bob. He goes up to talk to her, and eventually realizes that Amy did this to eliminate a threat, and because she’s someone who could seriously win the game. We’re at that point, folks– team voting is less important that threat elimination. Bob acknowledges that. Now if only Vicky would do the same…
Vicky spends the entire episode pouting and oozing malice (so, no real change there…), even after Bob tells her to get over it. Amy betrayed me! she spits. She’s aligned with Team Black! She can’t be trusted! Finally, Amy goes to Vicky and Heba and says it wasn’t a plan to spite them, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision, and to an extent she didn’t trust them. Vicky makes like she’s gracious, but still sys she won’t trust Amy until she proves herself. Feh.
Apparently entire decades have gotten into the product-placement game, as we suddenly discover that this is 80s week on the ranch. Alison shows up driving a DeLorean and wearing the sort of outfit I would have killed for in 8th grade, and which makes me twitch now. Learn from out mistakes, future generations!
The competitors get all decked out in 80s gear for the week. This includes short-shorts for Ed, leotards and fishnets for the ladies, and mesh, safety pins, artfully shredded shirts, fringe, puff paint, etc. for everyone. I apologize on behalf of my generation.
The teams even do some 80s workouts — Team Black learns breakdancing (sort of… I didn’t see anyone doing the worm or spinning on their heads), while Team Blue does step aerobics (Grapevine left! Grapevine right!). The challenge involves answering questions that marginally related to both health and fitness and the 80s. I my not have known the percentage of increase in the rate of diabetes since 1980, but I damn well knew about Buns of Steel and Olivia Newton John’s "Physical" video.
There was a twist to the challenge, of course — it involved buckets or water that the competitors had to hold up, and water was added when they got an answer wrong or when someone who got an answer right tagged them for the weight. When the weight was too much to hold up, the buckets turned over and the competitor got drenched. The last person standing won several product placements, plus either $5,000 or the ability to add a 1-pound weight penalty to someone else.
Ed is the first to get drenched. Coleen and Amy go soon after. Vicky starts off determined to win so she can smack Amy around with the weight penalty, but she ends up giving up. Heba loses focus at the wrong moment and gets showered. That leaves Michelle and Renee. "You can let go and I’ll buy you a purse," Michelle says. Renee thinks about it for a moment, then lets go.
Michelle gives the 1-pound penalty to Vicky. Joy! The rest of the weigh-in is sponsored by the number 8.
- Amy loses 8 pounds, for 4.42 percent
- Michelle loses 8 pounds, for 4.12 percent
- Ed loses 11 pounds, for 4.03 percent
- Renee loses 8 pounds, for 3.72 percent
- Heba loses 7 pounds, for 2.94 percent
- Vicky loses 6 pounds. With the 1-pound weight penalty, she loses 2.59 percent.
- Coleen loses 3 pounds, for 1.76 percent.
Coleen she loses it, weeping on stage. I’m torn between wanting to hug her and wanting to smack her. Three pounds is great! In the real world, you’ll celebrate 3 pounds! It’s just in the messed-up mechanics of this game that 3 pounds could be construed as disappointing! Grrr.
So it’s comes down to Black vs. Blue again, with Amy again as the swing vote. Will she vote against her team and boot off her tormentor? Or will she stick with her team and vote off a genuinely nice person?
Amy decides to stick with her team this time and sends Coleen home. Dammit! Will we never be rid of Vicky?
Coleen looks great at the look-at-me-now interview — but again, they don’t mention weight, just pants size. Curious. She’s rocking the side-swept bangs, and looks a bit like Reese Witherspoon now. Go, Coleen!
Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends
- Oh, Amy. Why? Did you really think Coleen was more of a threat, or did you not want to disappoint Bob? I can’t help but think you made a mistake — Vicky will happily throw you into the woodchipper if she gets a chance.
- Bob asks Vicky if she’s talked to Amy yet. "If I say something, I’m going to say something mean and ugly," Vicky says. And that makes it different from every other day how, exactly?
- Vicky complains to Bob that Amy hasn’t come up to her and said she made the wrong decision. That’s because she didn’t make the wrong decision, and this game isn’t all about you!
- Before the elimination vote, Vicky muses that "It would be truly a shame if the game player got played by the game." Nope, it would be justice. And long overdue.
- Coleen and Jillian react to the 3-pound loss like it’s a terminal cancer diagnosis. This was before Vicky or Amy weighed in. I’m with Bob — get a grip!
- Ed celebrates his 80s attire: "I have on these scrumptious crotch-hugger shorts that show off my beautiful powder-white legs." Later, Heba says she’s proud of Ed, but a little embarrassed for him. "Why?" Ed asks. "Because I thought something was going to fall out of your shorts!" Heba replies.
- The trainers had some choice 80s gear as well. Bob rocked the short-shorts and a "Frankie Says Relax" shirt, while Jillian had a lovely skinny headband across her forehead.