Hey, wait a minute! I just realized that the show has done away with the “What Have You Done Today to Make You Feel Proud” song! That song was consistently the best part of the show! I can’t believe I didn’t notice this before. How will I remember to take stock of my pride-worthy actions now? Can someone start a petition to get the song back? Harumph. Well, nobody’s asked but I’m going to tell you anyway that what I did today to make me feel proud was drink from my box of wine. It’s economical and eco-friendly, and also delicious! Tip it! For the earth!
After the stupid, non-pride-song intro, we enter the house which is now full of cupcakes! MY DREAM! They come in all flavors with many different types of frosting and accoutrements on top. Oh, how a vanilla cupcake with coconut frosting would complement my boxed wine! Adam says he’s not really a cupcake guy, so wasn’t tempted in the least. Burgandy, however, wants some damn sugar. I’m with her. Sami tells the contestants that by now they should know to expect the unexpected. At this point the unexpected would actually be the expected. What a twist that would be. But alas, Sami says that at the end of this week two contestants will go home. There will be a yellow line and a red line at the weigh-in. The person with the lowest percentage of weight lost for the week will fall below the red line and be axed automatically, without even the indignity of participating in a stupid challenge. Today, the contestants have a chance to save themselves. If someone finds a cupcake with a golden coaster underneath it, they’ll get a one-pound advantage at the weigh-in. And for every week they keep it, it will grow by a pound. So next week it would be worth two pounds, and three after that, and so on. Eventually, someone could have an eight or nine pound advantage. Of course, each cupcake chosen must be eaten. However, if the cupcake doesn’t have the golden coaster underneath it, there will be a corresponding clue to help determine where to find it.
The challenge begins. Sami yells go, and several contestants rush out to grab a cupcake. It looks like Rick, Adam, Elizabeth and Jesse are playing. Rick says that his plan is to eat the small cupcakes and amass clues. Elizabeth is in a state of panic, and so has no strategy at all. She eats a giant, delicious-looking cupcake. Lisa tells us that her strategy for this challenge was to stay the hell away from cupcakes, since cupcakes got her here. She has a point. After two cupcakes and two clues, it’s determined that the golden coaster is on the right side and bottom two shelves of the cupcake tower. That narrows it down to about 50 cupcakes. The third clue states that the cupcake has pink frosting. Rick picks a big pink cupcake and is disappointed to find that there’s no golden coaster underneath. He laments not sticking with his small cupcake strategy, since he’s losing time with the chewing. Jesse realizes that Rick and Adam have lapped him with cupcakes, and figures there’s no point in ingesting extra calories. He bows out, with regret for participating in the first place.
The fourth clue says that the cupcake has a raspberry on top. There are two of these. Both Rick and Adam reach for the same cupcake, but it’s Adam who gets it and wins. He feels great, even though he’s eaten 1350 calories in this challenge. Adam says it’s not a problem, since he’ll work off an extra 1350 today. From the bleachers, we hear Brendan say that Adam’s really cocky. He tells Sami that the winner of this challenge has a target on his back. Adam hadn’t thought of this, but resolves to work hard regardless. Elizabeth, meanwhile, is having a total breakdown. She’s terrified to go home, and says that she doesn’t know what her body is doing right now. She’s been well below the yellow line twice, and fears the red line this week. Elizabeth seems like a sweet lady and I wish her the best, but I also wonder how she passed the psych test. She doesn’t seem quite emotionally ready to handle this crazy situation.
But you know who makes everything better? Chef Curtis Stone! So cute, even if he is judge-y about cupcakes. …
Photo credit: NBC