So, “The Biggest Loser” apparently has a new mini-intro that features Bob oiled up without a shirt. Yes, Virginia, dreams do come true! I keep trying to pause on it, but it goes by super fast. Suffice it to say that Bob has no moobs. Or, if he does have moobs, they’re only training bra-worthy. In a good way. Jillian wears a tank top and Sami has, like, a blazer on. At least someone on this show retains a sense of modesty.
We are reminded that half of the contestants fell below the yellow line last week. Only one guy was below the yellow line, and Jillian found it unacceptable that seven of eight female contestants were in jeopardy. Patrick, the only one below the line who had a Y chromosome, got a save, and the seven women had to battle it out in a physical challenge. Allie and Tina came in last, and so faced an elimination vote. Quite surprisingly, Allie was voted out. With last week’s recap finished, we go back to the present. Patrick tells us that tensions are quite high in the house, and a lot of people are pissed off and upset. Before this week, Brendan says, everyone was hunky dory and pallin’ around like terrorists, but now that they’ve been through one elimination things have changed. Tina tells us that we think we know, but we have no idea what it’s like to be a contestant on this insane show. I’d like to keep it that way, thanks.
The morning after the elimination, Tina is overcome with guilt. There are some rumors floating around about Tina wanting to go home, and so Tina calls a house meeting. She breaks down, then tells everyone that she totally got screwed up and is going to ask to go home today. Frado tells her, quite correctly in my opinion, that it’s selfish to go home. She pleaded to stay and they voted poor Allie with her crunk mom out. Frado says that Tina’s responsibility is to honor Allie, and fight to be there. Others agree. Tina says that she doesn’t want to chance pulling someone else down. What does that even mean? Brendan points out that there are thousands of people who would love to be there, and for her to quit is just — cue Boston accent — gaaaahbage. Rick asks if there’s something at home that Tina wants to leave for. Tina says that the day before she got called to do the show, she drew $16,000 out of her 401K to take her family on a very special vacation. OMG, first of all, how much do you wish Suze Orman was here right now to hand Tina her ass for that 401K business? The other contestants are rightly incensed that Tina, who had the perfect opportunity to leave if she wanted to go on vacation so damn badly, hoodwinked them into keeping her there and now wants to throw away health and happiness for a trip to Bora Bora. Frado notes that he’s going to miss his son’s graduation, but you have to make sacrifices to save your own life.
Lisa feels betrayed and devastated, and says that she’ll leave to take care of Allie, who lives only ten miles away from her, after she’s learned a few more things. Now everyone thinks that Lisa is crunk, which is also true. Lisa says that Allie doesn’t have anybody, but as we’ve seen she totally has season eight winner Danny! She’s fine. Frado tells Lisa to go home and help Allie then. He interviews that this scene is pathetic. Jessica says that she’d stay a year if she could, and if there are people who don’t want to be there for three months the others can collectively help them pack and send them home. I mean, seriously.
Bob enters and learns about the drama that has just ensued. He says that it’s bullshit, and then tells Tina that she’s not ready to go home yet, and that everyone has to remember why they’re there in the first place. Someone else is going home next week, and that’s why they have to get to learning and not take being on campus for granted. Bob tells us that the first elimination always makes people crazy, and the best strategy for dealing with this is to get in the gym and focus.
Soon enough we’re in the gym, and Bob is leading a circuit workout …
Photo credit: NBC