the fabulist e kristin cavallari orly shani 'The Fabulist' premiere: Kristin Cavallari's new E! lifestyle showE! premiered a new lifestyle show on Monday (March 17) called “The Fabulist,” where Kristin Cavallari warns us all against the dangers of vaccination.

Just kidding. K-Cav and co-host Orly Shani (“Or-Sha”?) spend 30 minutes each week with their guests — this week’s guests were fashion photographer Nigel Barker and model Jessica White — talking about the hottest trends in fashion, beauty and decorating.

The premiere episode touched on:

Slouchy pants

“I’m seeing them on the runway, I’m seeing them on the red carpet even, but it doesn’t mean I like them. Sometimes you make mistakes! … I just don’t get it, it looks like they’re your boyfriend’s pants.” — Nigel.

Going braless

“You cannot wear this trend if you can lift up your breast and put a pencil under it.” — Jessica

Ear cuffs

“Quite frankly, I think they’re kind of sexy in a kind of weird, kinky kind of way. If Lt. Uhuru can rock an earpiece and it’s got that sort of sci-fi angle to it, why not?” — Nigel

Boxed wine

“It gets the job done.” — K-Cav

The show actually wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but it was greatly buoyed by Nigel Barker being funny. It remains to be seen if the program works without a funny guest.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."