We haven’t really touched The Mentalist’s Red John plotline in awhile, so I hope that comes up tonight. I do enjoy all the episode titles using the word "red," though. Tonight we have "Ladies in Red." Let’s see what Patrick Jane has in store for us…

We join our intrepid team in San Francisco at a crime scene. It’s a house belonging to Jason Sands, a big political contributor. Mrs. Sands found her husband gone and his office ransacked, with a blood stain on the floor. Patrick insists Mr. Sands is still in the house somewhere by noticing a bookcase that is a front for a secret room. He gets the code from a painting of sailboats, while delightfully singing, "Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies," which I have loved since I was 6 years old and saw Jaws for the first time. When they open the secret room, they find Mr. Sands dead.

The funeral. Bagpipes ring out, which is grating. There is a lawyer suspiciously hovering around the widow. Teresa and Grace leave the funeral and Patrick takes the opportunity to ask Rigsby why he hasn’t told Grace how he feels about her. He advises Rigsby to use "love and affection" and then bets Rigsby $100 he can seduce any woman at the funeral. Rigsby says, "The widow." Oooh, I like it! Patrick introduces himself to Mrs. Sands, asserts himself over the lawyer and tells Mrs. Sands that he can help her. It’s… actually kinda hot. Go Patrick.

Their boss (last seen as President Logan on 24) is irate because the family’s lawyer has complained to the Attorney General. He threatens to have Patrick thrown off the case. Mrs. Sands calls and says she’s willing to drop the matter if Patrick will apologize to her. In person. Woo woo.

At the Sands house, Patrick bonds with the daughter over troll dolls (they still have those?) and then Mrs. Sands over his wife’s death. Charming. Mrs. Sands wants his help because her husband’s business had gone under and left them with massive debt. She wants him to find the hidden money because Mr. Sands wouldn’t have left them with nothing. Patrick agrees because obviously the person who killed him thought there was money somewhere. Suddenly the asset-seizers arrive and Patrick intimidates them with talk of shots and immunizations because of the suspected anthrax involvement in the murder. Snerk. They turn tail and leave.

Back at the office. It turns out the business has been dead for 10 years, but that up until two weeks ago there was $10 million in Sands’ personal account. Patrick admits to being a little sweet on the gorgeous, grieving widow and Teresa is obviously bothered.

Teresa meets with the family lawyer to question him about the financial troubles. The lawyer thinks Jason took out the $10 million in cash to run away and avoid jail. Back at the office, Grace says she found out Sands got the money from an office supply company that supplies Happy Landings Entertainment with copy paper. Happy Landings is basically a front and Grace is charged with digging further into Happy Landings.

Teresa, Cho and Patrick visit the address of the office supply company, which turns out to be a pretty fancy yacht. It’s been ransacked and someone is still aboard the boat. It turns out to be a young woman, who pulls a gun on them and declares she is Jason Sands’ fiancee. DUN DUN DUN!

Cop shop. They question the woman, Adrianna (ooh, is she a drug-addict child actor?), who is less than forthcoming but does hit on Patrick. Classy. She regales them with a story of being in a detention camp at a young age (she has a generic Eastern European accent) and says she’s not scared of them. She says Jason was divorcing his wife for her and that he had bought $10 million worth of diamonds for when they ran off together on the sailboat. I can’t decide if it’s more Suicide Kings or Sleeping with the Enemy, but Adrianna says they were going to take his daughter Julie with them. She then volunteers names of guys who were after Jason because Jason was money-laundering for them and that’s where he got the $10 million. They are named Dieter Webb and Carter Lewis.

They are hotel owners, DJs, drug dealers and pimps, basically. Patrick questions Adrianna about taking Julie, but Adrianna says she loves Julie and says Mrs. Sands is cold and heartless. Patrick tells Adrianna not to leave town and Adrianna replies, "As you like." The Dread Pirate Roberts, she is not.

The Sands house. Patrick questions Mrs. Sands again, spilling about the $10 million nest-egg but that he doesn’t know where to find it. Mrs. Sands lays it on thick with compliments but Patrick still spills the beans about the mistress. Mrs. Sands wants to know how old she is, if she’s good-looking and if she has the money. Hmmm. She then asks Patrick to hold her, but Patrick says no. Interesting.

Oakland, CA. Rigsby and Van Pelt stake-out and confront Webb and Lewis. One of them bolts, Ferris Bueller-like, through a backyard but is felled by a chain-link fence and Rigsby arrests him. In lockup, Cho questions the Ferris Bueller one about Jason Sands taking $10 million from them. Lewis says that Adrianna has the money because she used to work for them. Suddenly, Mrs. Sands calls Patrick in a panic because Julie has been kidnapped. The ransom note says Mrs. Sands knows what the kidnappers want from her, which she feigns is the money but we all know better because we’ve watched TV before, right?

The intrepid team taps into Mrs. Sands’ cell phone, who gets a text from the kidnappers. Man, kidnappers have gone so high-tech from the days of Mel Gibson screaming, "GIMME BACK MY SON!" Patrick goes to the drop spot where Adrianna gets in the car and pulls a gun on Patrick, demanding the diamonds and saying she doesn’t want Julie to die. He shows Adrianna some "diamonds," getting her to hand over her gun and phone so she can inspect them (wow, is she dumb). She was threatened with pictures of Julie tied-up. The team traces the last number dialed and move in on the address. There is a shoot-out.

Hospital. The Sands’ lawyer was seriously wounded in the shoot-out, because he stole Jason’s money and kidnapped Julie. They don’t know if the accomplice was Adrianna or Mrs. Sands, but Patrick has an idea. Maybe they can re-enact the night while Tim Curry in a butler’s uniform runs around and explains it to us.

Adrianna and Mrs. Sands confront each other in the hospital waiting room. Cho and Grace drop the name "Wendy," which is the name of one of Julie’s troll dolls, and that the family lawyer should be pulling through nicely and able to talk any minute now. Both women react in thinly-disguised alarm and when the team returns, they are both gone. Adrianna has gone to comfort Julie but Mrs. Sands has gone home to ransack the house, looking for the Wendy troll doll.

Patrick is there waiting for Mrs. Sands. She cries and says it was the family lawyer who planned the whole thing, but Patrick knows she is lying. Mrs. Sands starts yelling about her daughter loving "her father’s whore more than me!" We flashback to the family lawyer and Mrs. Sands torturing Jason for the combination to the secret room. Patrick then reveals the actual diamonds are in the chandelier in Julie’s room.

Mrs. Sands is arrested and Patrick says just because he lost the best to seduce Mrs. Sands doesn’t mean Rigsby shouldn’t take his advice. Van Pelt wonders what they’re talking about. Snerk.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."