So obviously the first thing you want to know is who the new boss is, right? Well, the search committee picked James Spader’s character, Robert California, who we met in last season’s finale. But instead of taking the regional manager position, he somehow got himself made CEO. And then he picked Andy as the permanent (at least for now) regional manager, although Robert’s hanging out in the Scranton conference room half the time for some reason. In other over-the-summer news, planking has hit the office, and Pam is pretty far along in her tear-filled second pregnancy, while Angela’s on her first with her husband the senator. So now that you’re up to speed, let’s move on to the non-events of the episode.
Robert accidentally lets the employees discover a list he made of all the employees, divided into two columns. Which they desperately try to interpret like it’s the latest gnomic pronouncement from a Fed chairman. When Andy asks Robert what it’s about, Robert claims it’s just a doodle — while moving Andy from one side of the list to the other. As the general freak-out continues, Robert abruptly invites everyone on the left side of the list (which includes Jim) to lunch, leaving behind everyone on the right side of the list (which includes Pam). At the meal, Robert admits that yes, he invited the “winners” to lunch, making everyone else the “losers.” Back at the office, Andy confronts Robert, who unabashedly cops to it in front of everyone, and invites the losers to prove him wrong. But alpha-loser Andy does that for them (or at least for Stanley, Meredith, Pam and Erin, so I guess Kelly, Creed, Ryan and Gabe can suck it). So maybe Andy belongs in that left column after all. At least he’s dressing somewhat less like an Easter egg now.