Kenbaumann_secretlifeoftheamericanteenager_s3_290 Rumer Willis showed up tonight on “The Secret Life of The American Teenager.” She was Heather, the new pregnant girl, and was, just possibly gunning for Ben. I guess those tricks she learned in “The House Bunny” have paid off.

There is, of course, a group of individuals out there who have a thing for pregnant women (not that there’s anything wrong with that), and Heather certainly appeared to think that Ben might be one of those people. Their conversation later in the episode definitely made it clear that she was just covering at school and has been truly unhappy and needed someone to talk to. I think she probably did need a friend, but I’m not sure that she didn’t want more than that. Plus, I’m wondering now if Ben is just a nice guy in general or if he does have a thing for pregnant girls (not that there’s anything wrong with that), despite what he said to Amy.

Guess who wasn’t happy with Heather’s introducing herself to Ben. That’s right, Amy. Amy did not like “that pregnant girl, Heather” asking out her Ben. That wasn’t terribly surprising, but at least it got Amy motivated enough to leave someone besides Ricky alone with the baby, which is a direction she should have headed in a while back.

Amy’s plan didn’t so much work with Anne’s being on bed rest and all, but she did give it her best shot. Of course, Amy’s best shot was done in that obstinate damn-everyone-who-doesn’t-fully-support-every-single-decision-I-make way. How did Amy not realize that her father, being her father, could in fact tell her what she could and couldn’t do? George may not always be right (like with the dog), but George — as Amy’s father — could in fact tell her that she was not allowed go out.

On the other hand, Amy was great with Heather at the end of the episode. Good for her, she not only acted like an adult but also helped someone she doesn’t even know.

Grace has Jack on a no “self-happiness” plan? Why is that? As they reminded us, they’re not Catholic. Did Jack agree to that because of her? Was Jack already on such a plan before he met her? I can’t see Reverend Stone pushing such a notion. Reverend Stone seems like the kind of guy who would totally be in favor of a teen’s self-happiness over a teen making someone else happy.

I will admit that despite my dislike of Grace, I am human enough to feel bad for the way she was treated at the abstinence group. She’s just not that bright where other people are concerned, but maybe she’ll figure all that out one day. Of course, she did set herself up for defeat with the poem… the poem I’ve reproduced below:

I’m sorry Jesus, but I had sex.
I don’t know what happened, it’s so complex.
I promised I would wait until I was wed,
And despite that promise I ended up in bed.
I never thought anything could feel so good.
I thought maybe wives just do it because they think they should.
But after all was said and done,
I did feel guilty for having so much fun.
So now I’m focused on being a surgeon,
As a way to not think about not being a virgin

My response:

Oh lord Grace, what were you thinking?
If you ask me, I bet Jack’s still drinking.
You’re denying him self-happiness is lame,
Yes, I believe that you’re solely to blame.
I do feel bad about what happened to your dad,
But that doesn’t mean you have to make others feel bad.
I know that you’ve got a lot of issues to work through
And I sincerely hope that you soon do.

Bits and pieces:

  • Ricky, Adrian, Ashley, and this new guy, Mark, on a double-date? I’m thinking bad plan for everyone involved (and for those not directly involved, too). Thank goodness that didn’t happen.
  • Adrian, the house, and seeing other people? She’s still got enough crazy in her that I’m putting no stock in an end-of-the-episode conversation.
  • Madison was absolutely right, you should never have sex at church.
  • You probably already know this, but to be clear Grace’s poem was not a limerick and you shouldn’t have a dog prank 911.

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Posted by:Josh Lasser