. She’s so adorably sarcastic and rebellious! I’m loving her more and more each week. I’m also enjoying Molly Ringwald, finally. Unfortunately, the list of positives is still mighty short for SLAT. The writing just isn’t there. At all. With teen dramas, you either need to be outrageously over-the-top, or very, very smart. And SLAT is neither. Since smart probably isn’t an option, I’m still advocating for an increase in outrageousness. It’s not too late to be "so bad it’s good," guys! (So bad they’re bad spoilers ahead…)

The episode begins with some serious drama. Grace, alone in the middle of the night on a street corner after Jack dropped her off, is waiting for Ricky to pick her up. A couple of drunk guys show up and hassle her, and just as she’s holding them off with a broken beer bottle Ricky shows up, shirtless (the shirt is with Adrian). A bank security camera captures the whole incident, which somehow makes it onto the morning news. And in the paper, with photos, even though the news stated that the security guards didn’t find the footage until that morning. Can we at least TRY for a little continuity, guys?

The footage is the talk of the town, and makes some pretty big waves. Ricky’s social worker gives him a hard time about his habits. Grace gives up cheerleading (temporarily). She also gives up Jack, even after he strips off his shirt (in response to Adrian stripping off Ricky’s shirt, of course). This show is ridonkulous. Ben trips over himself about eight times while talking to Amy about the incident, managing to seriously piss her off. She gets over it, after he bribes her with food.

Jack, wanting to make Grace jealous, pays Adrian a visit and convinces her to go to church with him. In the trampiest "conservative" outfit in existence. She tries to put the moves on him before church with the reminder that a few minutes is all he needs. Um, how sweet that she remembered? Less sweet: trying to pressure him into sex by saying it’s necessary for her to make Ricky jealous. Though to be fair, don’t try and go out with the school tramp if you DON’T want to sleep with her.

Ricky also finds God, hoping that attending church will get him in with Grace. His social worker warns him against it, knowing his pattern of hurting women, but he refuses to listen. Everyone, of course, turns up just in time for Grace to give an interview on the news explaining exactly what happened. There’s lots of dramatic eye contact, unsurprisingly.

In the meantime, Ashley tries to distract the ‘rents from Amy’s pregnancy by dressing more conservatively and claiming she’s having sex. Seriously, the girl’s god mad comedy chops. And even though Amy straight-up admits to her dad that she’s had sex so that Ashley doesn’t have to cover for her anymore, her parents still don’t believe her as Molly Ringwald busts in to talk to her husband alone, asking him if he’s cheating on her. His denial isn’t convincing. Um, what kind of girl would claim to be having sex in order to protect her dad’s affair? I’m just assuming that Molly isn’t thinking too clearly. Because that would just be…weird.

Ben’s dad, more observant than I imagine most sausage kingpins to be, suspects that Amy is pregnant. Ben laughs it off before pausing in a painful moment of contemplation. The next day, he stops by to drop off some sausage (NOT a euphemism), and ends up getting along really well with Amy’s dad. Because, apparently, they’re both meat-loving (again, not a euphemism) environment-haters. Boo! Unfortunately, he was sucking up to the wrong parent, because Amy’s dad has a bag packed. Dun dun DUUUUUN!

One quick side note: How freaking unethical is it that Grace’s dad told her mom about Amy’s pregnancy? SO FREAKING UNETHICAL! Especially given the fact that she’s Amy’s dad’s ex-wife (if you can even follow that). Uncool, especially for such a self-righteous jerk.  Next week: The secret comes out. Maybe. Who knows? They seem to be showing the same previews for every week, in fact. Sigh.

Anyone care to place a bet on whether the secret will actually come out next week? How about a bet on how long it takes for Adrian to lure Jack to the dark side?

Posted by:Liz Pardue