The setup is simple enough: Corey Haim is going to move in with Corey Feldman and Feldman’s wife, Susie. The two Coreys, best friends for years, are no longer the stars they once were. Feldman still makes money working as an actor and has a great life with his wife. Haim, not so much. He has gone through more hard times than Feldman, but is, apparently, now clean and sober. Haim hopes that the duo can rekindle their fortunes via this reunion. Is it possible? Well, anything could happen on The Two Coreys.

The show begins in earnest with Haim showing up at Feldman’s house. There are big hugs all around, and as Haim has never seen the home, Feldman shows him around. It is quite the lovely place and in one room there is even an area with pictures and posters of the two Coreys’ work together. Haim slaps the big The Lost Boys poster and proceeds to break the frame (yup, this is all going to go so smoothly).

Ground rules are quickly laid down, the main one being no smoking in the house, but others soon follow. At dinner that night, during the vegetarian taco dinner (Feldman and Susie are vegetarian) Haim denigrates the food (he likes his meat). He is told however that the next night a person high up in PETA will be joining them for dinner, that the meeting took four months to setup, and that Haim better behave himself. Somehow I think it is clear even at this early stage in the game that things will not go as the Feldmans have planned.

After dinner, as everyone is heading upstairs, spots are noticed all along the carpet leading from the staircase to Haim’s room. It is mud (and maybe some cigarette ash). Feldman takes a moment once Susie disappears to explain to Haim that he loves having him at the house, but he better watch himself — stuff like this is clearly unacceptable. Haim either does not listen or does not care, because that night when Feldman and Susie are making out in the Jacuzzi, Haim plops down with them, clearly interrupting. Seems as though Haim has not known a woman (in the biblical sense) in quite some time (why this makes him interrupt his best friend knowing a woman is anyone’s guess) and is yearning to get back on the horse.

Happily, the show quickly moves on to the next morning. When Susie awakes and walks around her home, she finds cigarette butts put out in a cup of some type of liquid on her bar. She goes to Feldman, offers him a drink of the disgusting concoction, and tells him to go to Haim to fix things. While Feldman cannot find Haim in his room, he does come across a bowl of old ice cream on Haim’s bed.

Soon enough Haim is found and Feldman sits him down and gets all paternal, asking Haim if he has been smoking in the house. Haim puts entire issue down as being Susie’s, clearly she has totally changed the man Haim once knew. Feldman insists that he just does not want to get between the two of them and that Haim needs to clean up his act.

Susie confirms the dinner for tonight with the PETA girl, and probably to get a little time for herself, sends the two Coreys to the grocery store. She reminds them before they leave not to dally because she is going to need help cleaning up around the house. We are then treated to a swell montage of the Coreys shopping (really Feldman shops and Haim makes jokes and goofs around) and Susie cleaning and getting ready for their guest. On their way back from the grocery store, Haim asks Feldman if there are any places they could go in the neighborhood like the ones they used to hang out at. One can only assume that they do in fact stop off somewhere, because the show cuts to Susie going to answer the door when the PETA girl, Nicole, arrives. The boys are still not back, but do show up shortly.

Haim takes one look at Nicole, decides she is hot, and decides that she is just the kind of girl to help him end his cold streak. He excuses himself, heads up to his room, and orders a pizza (with meat on it), telling the clerk that the driver should call when he is still a couple of minutes away. How the pizza is going to help Haim get Nicole I do not know, maybe, just maybe, Haim is deeper than all of us.

Dinner could not have been taking place for very long before it starts to get really uncomfortable. Haim takes turns between hitting on Nicole and embarrassing his friends, saying how he just does not understand the whole vegetarian thing. Feldman and Susie meanwhile are voicing their interest in participating in a PETA campaign while doing their best to keep Haim in check. It goes back and forth and back and forth and then, the doorbell rings. Happily, the dining room is close enough to the front door that everyone knows that a pizza delivery guy is there, so Haim’s attempt at trickery, leaving the pizza outside the house, falls flat. Throughout all of this foolishness, Nicole is a good sport, smiling the whole time. The meal is mostly finished and Susie tells Haim to just bring the pizza inside the house and eat.

With dinner over things continue to slide downhill. Susie cries to Feldman in the kitchen that Haim is cheapening the whole night, while Haim is outside with Nicole, trying to get her into the Jacuzzi. While Nicole offers to cook Haim dinner should he ever be in town, it turns out that she already has a boyfriend. Haim is taken aback, but not yet ready to throw in the towel.

Poor Feldman, he once again has to step in at this point, pull Haim aside, and explain to him how Haim is hurting Susie and Feldman. The discussion moves inside, Susie is clearly upset, and poor Nicole is still there in the background, clearly unsure about quite what to do. Eventually, apologies are made, Haim sees Nicole out the front door and heads back in to what he is sure will be another lambasting.

How could it possibly get any better?

Oh, I know, there’s a second episode on tonight!

Coreyfeldman_surreallife_240At the outset of the episode, Susie is on the phone with someone and getting all happy. When she gets off of the phone she explains to the Coreys what the call was all about – she has gotten a spread in Stuff magazine coming up soon. Feldman, understandably, is thrilled for his wife, whereas Haim is instantly on edge. How will this affect The Lost Boys 20th anniversary? What about the radio show they have to go on, what about the premiere? All that stuff is coming up soon and Haim is sure that Feldman is going to bail on him. Feldman argues that he will be there and that Haim should not worry.

The day for the radio interview comes and Haim, though a little jumpy, is there early. Feldman is nowhere in sight. Haim goes on the air. Feldman is nowhere in sight. Haim is answering questions. Ah, there is Feldman, he is at home, on the phone with Stuff. Haim is making excuses at the interview for Feldman’s absence (maybe he was in a car accident). Feldman and Susie are all psyched for the "Hottest Housewives" spread she will be in.

When Haim does make it back to the Feldman homestead the sparks fly. Haim goes off on Feldman for not showing up. Feldman still insists he will do all the necessary promotional stuff for The Lost Boys. Haim is even less sure of his buddy now than he was before. If Feldman is supposed to be the responsible one of the Coreys, I worry about what Haim is actually up to in his life. Susie, unfortunately for her, is standing right there as the whole thing takes place, and she makes the mistake of opening her mouth to defend herself and her husband. Haim not so calmly explains to her that she is not a part of the Coreys and never will be before he storms out.

The next morning, Feldman and Susie are looking over Stuff issues, seeing what people wear and trying to get a good idea for what she should wear (I confess I have never noticed what any of the women in Stuff are wearing). Haim, also present for this conversation, is on a tangent of his own, and asks Susie which of the women he, Haim, would like best. He wants her to pick out one of the four for him. This, naturally, quickly devolves into an argument with Haim leaving with the parting shot "have I written you a death threat yet today?" If this is how he talks to his best friend’s wife, I wonder how he talks to people he does not like.

But, enough arguing, it is time for The Lost Boys 20th anniversary screening, interview, and autograph signing. Though there is some momentary worry in the car that no one will show up to see the movie and ask questions of the boys, the fears are quickly allayed as when they get out of the limo, throngs of fans are there. Up first at the event, a Q&A session with Corey, Corey, and Jamison Newlander (the other brother in the movie). The questions tend toward the usual sort: are you guys married (only Haim is single), what is your best memory of the movie (Haim bloodied his knees), and will there be a sequel (only if it is done right). This last one proves to be a big theme. Haim clearly wants to do a sequel and in his one-on-ones with the camera states as much. He wants he and Feldman to write it (do they have writing credits of which I and IMDb are unaware?).

During the autograph signing, Susie adds her name to a poster, further distressing Haim who once again goes after her and Feldman. At this point Susie refers to herself as Yoko, and Feldman and herself as John and Yoko. Haim says that it is not a John and Yoko thing and she should just stop it (I think that Susie would actually like it to be a John and Yoko thing, which does not make much sense, but I think it anyway). The bad feelings continue as Haim and Newlander decide to go out after the signing but Feldman decides to return home. Newlander accepts both Haim’s invitation to go out that night and Feldman’s invitation to breakfast the next morning.

After the Coreys go their separate ways, the scene cuts back and forth between Haim out with Newlander complaining about Feldman and Susie and how they have to cut the umbilical cord and Feldman and Susie, just thrilled that Haim is not there. Haim wants to have Newlander write the sequel to The Lost Boys too. Feldman and Susie on the other hand are worried about the apparent competition between Susie and Haim. They end up deciding that Feldman is doing a great job and that there really is no competition.

At breakfast the next morning, surprise, surprise, the notion of writing the sequel comes up again. Newlander wants it to be a based in reality thing, with everyone playing themselves, and them trying to convince an unsuspecting public that the vampires are real. Haim also has an idea, it has something to do with special powers, but neither I, nor Feldman, nor Newlander, and probably not even Haim could tell you exactly what the idea is. Feldman just argues that it should not be done if it cannot be done right.

With breakfast finished and Newlander gone, Feldman sits Haim down. Haim thinks it is about all the fighting. As it turns out, a sequel to The Lost Boys is going into production. It will be a direct-to-video thing and Feldman was offered a cameo appearance that he turned down. Haim has been offered nothing in it. He breaks down into tears and says the has burned too many bridges in Hollywood to get work. He also apologizes for the trouble he has been causing with Susie.

Haim decides to take a walk, and though clearly worried about their friend’s well-being, Feldman and Susie let him go. Not too long after that, the folks from Stuff appear and the photo shoot begins. It all looks like a great deal of fun.

Later that night, just as their fears are starting to peak, Haim comes back home with a blue gift box from Tiffanys. He explains that it is a wedding gift. Feldman points out that not only did Haim not have to get a gift, but that the wedding was four years ago. Haim has purchased them a very nice vase and apologizes for all the complications and misunderstandings. They do not all quite kiss and make-up, but things look to be on the upswing in their relationship (but possibly not their careers). What will happen next? Only time will tell.

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Posted by:Josh Lasser