trophy wife the date 'Trophy Wife' 'The Date' best lines: #drunkmoms and more“Trophy Wife” has quickly become my new favorite comedy of the fall 2013 TV season. It’s sharp, goofy and has a lot of heart, anchored by a stellar cast. “The Date” offered some fun and rare pairings of Meg & Diane and Kate & Jackie, plus a Bert, Warren and Hillary YouTube show about bubble gum. Let’s dive into the best lines:

Kate: “No exes, Jackie’s been here way too much.”
Pete: “You’re right. Last week I caught her putting goat’s milk on the shopping list.”

Diane: “I’ll just have Kate bring it, she’s never doing anything.”
Bert: “Oh, she’s very busy. They’re having a grown-up party, no kids allowed.”
Diane: “Then what’s Kate doing there? … It’s comical because she’s younger.”
Bert: “That’s mean.”

Meg: “Lighten up, Diane. A lot of my cousins have Hep C and they didn’t get it from playing beer pong.”
Diane: “Oh, just what I need. A lecture from patient zero.”

Meg: “What’s happening, party sex?”
Pete: “That’s not you and Steve?”
Meg: “I don’t think so, but I’m pretty drunk.”

Diane: “What on earth is number drunk moms?”
Hillary: “It’s #drunkmoms.”
Diane: “Make it go away.”
Hillary: “I can’t, I didn’t upload it.”
Diane: “Huh?”
Hillary: “OK, you seriously need to learn how the internet works.”
Diane: “Make it go away.”
Hillary: “I can’t, only Meg can.”
Diane: “I didn’t know that drunk could even afford the internet.”

Jackie: “Hey, your pool filter kind of stretched out my bra and I hate to charge you for it, so … just gimme one of yours?”

Jackie: “See mystery’s too mysterious for me because I am an open book. Page one, mommy issues. Page two, grandma issues. Page three, conflicted pescatarian.”

Meg: “Play me in beer pong for it.”
Diane: “That is absurd. Is that how you and these other hobos settle your disputes.”
Meg: “Sounds to me like you’re afraid I’ll win.”
Diane: “You’re on. One re-rack, no fixing, no blowing, no squatting. On-table rollbacks and death cup OK, but no iso cup and bouncing is for b****es.”

Sad Steve: “How do you ask a woman not to wax?”

Did you enjoy “The Date”?

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."